From an online chat at WashingtonPost.com this morning:

Herndon, Va.: Mr A: you haven’t been watching much Xmas season TV have you? Millionaires are ALWAYS unhappy until they learn true happiness from poor folks who know that real happiness comes from having no money.

Jorge Arangure Jr.: I think i’d rather be the millionaire guy.

Intelligent Design had been banned. I personally think that the statement required would have been alright, if they also mentioned that gravity was also a theory, not fact, and also mentioned the competing theory, the Theory of Intelligent Pushing.

Call Me America, I love War. I can’t help it, but I’m practically obsessed with War. It’s Wartime, Baby!! Lets Go…. We got ourselves a Wartime President, a handfull of smoldering foreign Wars, threat of bigger Wars with even more Warlike countries. Thats all that was really important in history class anyway, right: Wars and Presidents? While were on a roll lets take the War on home…. War on drugs, War on poverty, War on Christmas, War on the middle class, War on the environment, or fight the AIDS War. Any Suggestions?

December 19th : The “I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-get-up!” commercial first airs, 1985.

snap music - rap which incorporates very simplistic beats and finger snaps, coming from groups such as D4L and Dem Franchize Boyz

the Snap Dance - Nowadays outfits cost way too much to be sweating up. While getting on the dance floor when crunk music is playing may literally lead to you losing your shirt or a shoe, this simplistic dance that was invented to be performed to snap music is something you can do with your grandparents. All they have to do is decide on what to call it. It’s also known as the “Rock Wit, Lean Wit,” the “Laffy Taffy” and the “Poole Palace.”

As I’ve grown up in America, I’ve noticed that there is a minimal, but present, religious undertone in public institutions. I, as one who considers his religion to be atheism, resent these undertones in principle, but feel that these are trivial aberrations from secularism. I don’t think religion has infiltrated public institutions to such a degree that it requires legal or revolutionary action. However, I am not the slightest bit averse to undercutting the defenses of publicly established religion with my pen.

“In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy, and abortion in the prosperous democracies. … The United States is almost always the most dysfunctional of the developed democracies, sometimes spectacularly so, and almost always scores poorly.”

Woops….

What happened to the losers/goths/sideshows at your high school?

I found my answer: they created a band.

serendipitous - n. 1. The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.
2. The fact or occurrence of such discoveries.

And to continue the ongoing report on Joe Lieberman’s role as the “Republican Posterboy” is a report from Salon called Jolting Joe. The second paragraph really hits the nail on the head: “Lieberman is now seen as the most important Democratic apologist for the White House, a man who shores up what little credibility the president has left, while undermining his own party and refusing to own up to the debacle Iraq has become. Increasingly, people in his own party want to take him down. As the 2006 midterms approach, some major Democratic funders, despite their dream of reclaiming at least one house of Congress, are prepared to spend a lot of money and energy defeating one of their own.”

Who wants to make a dead squirrel into a hamsty?

Check out the Simpsons recent barbs at Family Guy. I definitely agree that the Simpsons is not the show it used to be, but Family Guy will always be half the show the Simpsons is.

Though I don’t think Family Guy plagarised the Simpsons, the similarities are too apparent: one family, 5 family members, fat, oversized, dimwitted father-figure, stable, simple mother, rambunctious, havoc causing male child. Though the Family Guy is an entertaining show, it can be best described as dimwitted.

microcosm - n. A small, representative system having analogies to a larger system in constitution, configuration, or development

Dear Readers:

As you may or may not know, I am a Siberian Dwarf Hamster. Not that this strikes me a particular sense of pride, as I am well integrated into American society. But, I felt it necessary to introduce you to some of my pals and bretheren and give you some information about hamsters in general.

We are a very sophisticated breed. If you’ve read about me before, you know I am a hamster of refined taste and sophisticated fashion. Here is a hamster I am currently courting, check out her free mason hat (though I dislike global conspiracies, I will make an exception — look at those whiskers!!!):

As a stead-fast believer in an alarmist, paranoid mentality, the record US trade deficit should send me (and you) into all-time high worrying about immigrants, cheap electronics, and other such things that ‘took our jobs’. But as an economist, it doesn’t matter (or does it) because the US is moving from the industrial/good production sector to the financial/services sector. Confuse you? Too bad.

In other news, Russia is still doing a good job of messing up it’s former Soviet Union states. Not that this is to be surprised — most of these countries are somewhat third/second world and little comprehension of democratic processes. It is not to be forgotten that the Soviet Union only collapsed 14 years ago too.