There is a tent, a fence, and a bible. It is an old fashioned revival:

DaDa Bot!

Salon has an article today about how impotence may be related to… girls being slutty? Apparently some beefcakes had boner problems, and this translated into an article about loose as a goose caboose being the culprit. As members of the Yuppie Death March, post-college graduates should actively seek out to relive their glory days of binge drinking and awkward sexual encounters (bravo, manwhores & sluts). Also, check out my less-than-sensical response.

Slate asks an even more question: are you racist because you hate rap? And the answer is yes, if the PC police have their way. They and the liberal media are primarily out to get you. So lock your children in basement with an iPod and a bible, because otherwise they may become intelligent human beings. And that is NOT what America is all about.

I put this on ateaseweb.com and craigslist, hopefully I’ll get some tickets (agh!):

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to ask for tickets to the June 13th or June 14th Radiohead show at Madison Square Garden. I attempted but was unable to purchase tickets during the online release date and cannot afford to buy a pair of tickets as they are being advertised now on Craigslist or Ebay. I suppose there are a fair amount of pleas out there from people so I commiserate that everyone that wants tickets (and probably deserves tickets) has not received them. However, I’ll still share my experience: I currently work at a non-profit in Washington DC, and my girlfriend who I wish to take with me to the concert works as a public school teacher in the Bronx, so paying upwards of $300 plus for each ticket is not feasible. Further, it is also my birthday on the 13th (I will fax you my drivers license or even my birth certificate for verification), and I have never had the pleasure of seeing Radiohead in person. I was scheduled to see them in spring 2001 at Bull Run in Virginia where Radiohead was scheduled to perform for 2 days. However, after Kid Koala finished a set on the first day, an unusual thunderstorm set upon the park and consequently, Radiohead did not perform. Severe inclement weather continued the next day, so both shows ended up cancelled with no Radiohead performance, and they have not returned to the Washington DC area since.

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I’ll start and end with my one depressing moment of truth de jour: today, China, Saudi Arabia, Cuba, Azerbaijan, and Pakistan were elected to the UN Human Rights Council. Yes, THE HUMAN RIGHTS COUNCIL. As some of my comrades like Curzon at CA have already picked up on this. Do we laugh, cry, or vomit because of this? These five countries at BEST have suspicious human rights records (and as any foreign policy guru, or Get Your War On fan will tell you, we don’t know much of Azerbaijan record because of their relationship with the US, save for the odd report of people being boiled alive. The UN has long lost its dignity and integrity as a multilateral organization that at least is supposed to defend human rights worldwide. From Somali to Rwanda to Darfur, the United Nations has proven itself incapable of standing on its own two feet.

The military tries to cover it up by calling it heroism.

$675 / 1br - Upper East Side Studio

600 square foot studio w/ full bathroom, kitchen available this July. 4th floor w/ elevator and door man. Just off corner of 49th and Lexington. Clean, and recently refurbished. Hard-wood floors. Ideal for young professional or student. Tenant must participate in Wiccan feast of Baal and Gozer once a month. Will provide free conversion ceremonial bath if tenant not already initiated. No dogs allowed, but one or two cats are okay. Applicants must meet residency guidelines and credit criteria.

Salon is having an excellent day on two fronts: first it explores Al-Sadr’s ability to gain popularity and power in Iraq by being strong militarily, but more importantly, providing basic services/goods such as food to entire populations. Secondly, Salon has a feature on Colbert’s performance at the Press Corp examining it for what it is: a biting piece on the inaction and inabilities of the journalistic community. The name sums it all up (if you like shortcuts), “Cowardly and clueless, the U.S. media abandoned its post as Bush led the country into a disastrous war. A look inside one of the great journalistic collapses of our time.”

Spent the weekend in New York City (This salsa is made in NEW YORK CITY?!?!). Friday night, reconnected some bases, watched my Wizards fall magnificently to the Lebron James’, and enjoyed a night of rudimentary hedonism. Gavin, you were fucking miserable at beer pong — a little less miserable then me — but that doesn’t excuse you, you’re still a Knicks fan. Lisa also has two hamsters: one with huge balls, and one that looks like Stimpy. The one that looks like Stimpy got stuck in the coach, and we had to cut open the bottom to get him out (does anyone even remember how this occured? I think it began with the two male hamsters eatting each other out on my lap). I suggested that the darker, bigger balled hamster be named Patrice, after African nationalist

A song about the Yuppie Death March via Daniel Johnston:

Oh Lord it really brings me down
About the Devil Town

And all my friend were vampires

In an ideal world, economic sanctions against a country culpable of having a malicious leader or government promote internal grassroots change. The short version scenario is those responsible for the existence of sanctions, such as Saddam Hussein during the 1990’s or Hamas currently in Palestine, will be ’starved’ out of office by being unable to provide basic amenities to its constituency. The idea is that food, medicine, and jobs will be so uncertain that public desperation will facilitate regime change, either peaceful or violent.

However, idealism falls on its heels as the opposite often occurs: the Regime is not seen as the harbinger of poverty, but the victim of it. In the end, extreme poverty fosters a counter-productive extremist reaction in citizens: a disdain for those carrying out sanctions and sympathy for the government, consequently consolidating power instead of destabilizing it.

My sentiments exactly:

IF YOU MANAGED TO ACTUALLY GET TICKETS TO THEIR SHOWS, YOU SHOULD GO SEE IT YOU FUCKING POSEURS.

SCUM-SUCKING LOW-LIVES. I HATE YOU.

Prepare to pretend to be entertained!