February 2012

You can get away with a lot of things in government. You can come to work late. You could just not go to work at all. You could spend your hours and hours of paid time slowly translating your boring, everyday life onto a BLOG.

But the one thing you cannot get away with is being a pedophile. In the least, an elected official pedophile (I’m pretty sure the FBI, DOD, etc. have an affirmative action policy for a minimum amount of pedophilic hires). Or, in the world of our Lords and Gods the Republicans, being a homosexual (since everyone that loves children also loves being a homosexual).

Of course, none of this wouldn’t be aided by arm chair quarterbacking of the world’s greatest, and most renowned, perverts:

That being said, Foley is pretty fucking legit. I’ve been around cybersex since almost the beginning – 1996 – and this guy certainly knows what he’s doing. The main thing that impressed me most was the control of the conversation. The whole time we know that Foley is in control, but he manipulates the teen in such a way that he feels comfortable, even offering up information without being asked. The biggest difficulty one faces when trying to get a stranger to have an orgasm over a computer is that reluctance, that shyness. But because Foley was so impressive, there doesn’t seem to be any reluctance on the part of the teen. While I’m not in the “if” business, it seems to me that if the teen’s mom had not intervened, there would have been so mutual masturbation session within the next ten minutes.

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Tyson serious about fighting women on ‘World Tour’

STRONGSVILLE, Ohio (AP) — Mike Tyson said fans should not expect much of a fight when he steps back into the ring.

But the 40-year-old former heavyweight champ promised an entertaining show Friday night when he launches the “Mike Tyson’s World Tour” in Youngstown.

At a news conference at an Italian restaurant, Tyson said he would likely go just four rounds and that future stops on the tour might include bouts with women, possibly professional boxer Ann Wolfe.

With more insights…

At the press conference, Tyson posed for photos with fans, signed autographs and campaigned for Maryland U.S. Senate candidate Michael Steele.

Tyson, wearing a white and blue Steele for U.S. Senate T-shirt, said he used to believe black Republicans were “sellouts.” But Tyson said he changed his mind after researching the Maryland lieutenant governor.

“We have to open our eyes more,” Tyson said, as he pointed to his T-shirt.

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Oh boy, my career is down the tubes and I don’t know what to do. Wait, I’ll love Jesus! Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ‘I’m the first Jesus Psycho’:

Now Baldwin has released a memoir, “The Unusual Suspect,” a reference to the one critically acclaimed film for which he’s known. The book, the “Gospel according to Stevie B.,” is part testimonial and part evangelical manifesto, a cocktail of anti-intellectualism and a biblical interpretation that would have Jesus spinning in his grave, had he stayed there. Baldwin preaches that free will is a lie of Satan — we must shut off our brains, he says, and be led by what God tells our hearts. Furthermore, he writes, efforts to end global poverty and violence are just the sort of “stupid arrogance” that incur God’s wrath, which we’ll be feeling any day now in the coming apocalypse. I suppose when the star of “Bio-Dome” is advising the president and converting kids by the thousands to his gnarly brand of faith, the end is, indeed, nigh.

Best response (and always a reason to love Salon): Dear Lord, please save me from your followers.

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I´m back from the volunteer visit and I can say that it really opened my eyes to peace corps life.  The upside is I know that I made the right decision coming here and I will have the freedom to pursue projects that are important to me.  I will have the time to improve myself through study and socializing.  The downside is by tasting a hint of volunteer life, i am very ready to be done with training.  To the people waiting for letters:  I will have some time to get those done tomorrow and will probably have them in the Nica mail by monday….. maybe.

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Zach Braff is Zach Braff in another dull movie about emotions smothered with plenty of independent music! Oh boy! Slate vindicates I am not the only person in the world who hates the sheep who love Garden State et. al. shit. “If Zach Braff is the voice of my generation, can’t someone please crush his larynx?”

And let’s not forget about FATWA FRIDAYS: “A car commercial proclaiming a jihad on the U.S. auto market and offering “Fatwa Fridays” with free swords for the kids is offensive and should not be aired, Muslim leaders said on Sunday.”

Which delves into the more serious question, why do they hate us? The answer is a series of semi-humorous political cartoons, and of course, the New York Times. And why do we get so horny? “Women become sexually aroused as quickly as men.” LIES!!!!!!!!!!!! But who the hell gets aroused watching Mr. Bean?

Subjects were naked from the waist down and positioned themselves such that their genital area was exposed and readable by the thermal imaging device. The participants next watched another video with the same subject matter, or one featuring pornography, horror or comedic clips from the Best Bits of Mr Bean.

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