That’s it, I’m in Fucking England

Cheers mates! (ugh). I am finally arrived and settled in London. For those of you not in the know, your dear author and PBH blog founder (that’s me) has packed up from Washington DC for a year of education at the School of Oriental and African Studies. For the next year, I’ll be discovering the wonders of Political Economy of Development, tragically far from the familiarity of Washington DC and it’s various gay blowjob cathedrals. I know I’ve been absolutely terrible about updating the ol’ blog, and I’ll be doing my best in the near future to get things going again.

For the time being, I wanted to present a list of things that separate us (AMERICANS!!!) from them (BRITS!):

1. British people speak funny and fast. The more funny and fast they speak, the younger or poorer they typically are. Exceptions can be made for anyone from Scotland, who is basically incoherent at all times regardless of class or age.

2. The Simpsons were not lying about the Big Book of British Smiles. I asked my dentist about this prior to my going, and he told me that the British don’t have a lot of preventative care. I’m also pretty sure the national dish of boiled boots and rocks doesn’t help that much either.

3. British people are not the most attractive. For the most part, British men are better than their opposites. The exception (and big one here) is that in London, the non-British Brits are very attractive (ie Indians, Pakistani’s, etc.). The complete lack of sun seems to effect their complexion and appearance less than the ol’ pasties.

That’s it for now. When I come up with more non-vernacular reasons why we’re all so similar yet so strangely different, I will dish up another hot list. But for now, I will talk to you later, my blog minions.