Why I Hate Dick And Bush

I must confess. I’ve got a dirty little fantasy that keeps me rock hard at night. I’ve got one of those little scenes in my head that keeps the spice in my sex life. And it’s all about the politics baby.

I yearn for the days gone by of presidential censure and impeachment hearings. I hope to all those deities that are sacred and holy that they choose this time to prove their worth, not only to every American, but to the rest of the world that is sick and tired of this god damned insanity. As and atheist I pray every night that Cheney goes down in flames harder than the Hindenburg and Bush winds up as nothing more than a marginalized footnote in history, joining the weak ranks of all former presidents that are 100% despised by historians everywhere.

What would I see in a world without the nastiest most rude and fowl Vice President ever? What do I see when Dick Cheney (now less popular than Dan Quayle) is removed from office? I see Vice President Nancy Pelosi. I see a woman whose bluster and rhetoric outshines the administration. I see a well groomed loudmouth with fantastic hair harping the president through his last days slowly kneading his ulcer into the Hurricane Katrina of his insides (and I expect to to be as well managed).

I sit her and write with an utter loathing of the president, his policies, and the backhanded actions of his second in command. Americans have sat quietly through these last four nightmarish years of war, recession, corruption, indictments, pardons, war, and “executive privilege”. President Bush has been a waste of air and precious natural resources. His best bet is to lay in the ground and turn his body back into the carbon that he so valuably seeks in foreign nations. President Bush is a lesson in blunders. He deserves censure, a check on his powers, and at the very least a consensual blowjob so we can get the ball rolling.

But Mr. Cheney, Batman’s nemesis The Penguin himself, does not get off so lucky in my own private Idaho. The Vice President is constitutionally authorized for two actions, casting the tie breaking vote in senate (if it even comes to it), and succeeding the president in the event of his death. President Bush has, like a child, shoved all the responsibility he can into the eager and waiting hands of this walking robotic heart attack. The power of the president is in the hands of a man that was programed to never love.

Dick Cheney is responsible for the military commission act. A deplorable law that has blurred the lines of justice, due process, and the human rights of non-Americans everywhere. Mr. Cheney’s view of the world has Americans being more specialer than any other kind of human, and all the world is our resource basket. Dick Cheney works for the American Empire, not the American People.

And when those people came forward and demanded accountability. This fuck. This scum-sucking little smear of shit that doesn’t have the strength of character or moral fiber necessary to own up to his actions decided that the office of accountability was not needed. Americans cried shenanigans on the Vice President and demanded answers. Mr. Cheney, with the good graces of a vaginal belch proceeded to claim that his office is not part of the executive branch, thus exempting it from congressional oversight.

Mr. Cheney has forgotten one single and terrible truth. No one is above the law. The audacity for him to think he can pull an O.J. Simpson with constitutional precedent glaringly displays his inability to work within the confines of trust granted to him by the American People on election day. The suggestion that he is outside the government is an impeachable offense by itself, couple it with everything else that is attached to his name and  it is a wonder he is allowed anywhere near the same buildings that once housed the policies of men like Teddy Roosevelt or Thomas Jefferson. Dick Cheney is the abortion we never got, he is the regret of an entire nation that let their broken bastard child grow up only to rape mommy.

Mr. Cheney cut his teeth in other administrations and within the corporate world. He brought to this white house a culture of corporate corruption that only Nixon could be proud of. He is a traditional insider that has wielded power like the ruthless adviser behind the child king. Mr. Cheney has no legacy, no claims to fame, no good deeds that he can claim as he passes through history. There is nothing that this man has done that can balance or even counterpoint his disgusting burning and pillaging of 200 years of precedent.

For eight years President Bush has had a driving desire to keep his job easy and simple. President Bush has decided he wants his anus of a Vice President to make all the tough decisions for him. President Bush should be ashamed for running a hard campaign to get an office he never wanted, and then running for re-election only to perpetuate war, and continue to shuffle presidential authority onto Mr. Second Place. The appropriately named “Dick” Cheney has eagerly sucked up power as quickly as President Bush can hand it to him. This presidency has been eight years of failure. No laid out goal of this Administration has been accomplished. The war is still on, the White House is under investigation, and the popularity ratings of both men are lower than a child molester’s in a pre-school.

Fuck these two and get them the hell out of my government.

~C

(x posted)

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