Don’t Sleep So Much

Warning: The views in the following section are not endorsed by the Department of Health or the Department of Education. Results may vary.

When Bill Clinton was at Georgetown, a saner professor told him great people conditioned themselves to sleep 4-5 hours a night. The simple reason being: you get more done. Bill Clinton applied the theory in his dorm room that night and remembered it well during his famous all-night pizza meetings at the White House. (Warning #2: The Bill Clinton Sleep Schedule is not to be confused with the Bill Clinton Sleeping Around Schedule.)

When I was on a high school tour, the scruffy tour guide mused you can attain two of three things at school. You can 1) learn a lot, 2) meet interesting people, and/or 3) get great sleep. I never saw the kid again. I didn’t even get into the school. But I never forgot his tip. And I don’t understand why anyone would pick any combination other than 1) and 2).

Stay up late, my high school buddy, always said. Just stay up late. And the less compelling the reason, the better. “Mad Men” marathon at 12:27 AM? Watch. A random Spice Girls reunion concert on a school night? Go. The most intriguing conversations happen then. These are the times when the “remember the time…” stories are minted.

Spice Girls Don’t Sleep So Much

“Those were the days” adults reminisce wistfully about school. And those Raman Noodle-fueled late-nights? Those are the hours. I can’t tell you anything about my high school papers except they probably had “needs more development” and B+ scrawled in red ink on them. But I recall every vivid detail of our spontaneous sledding trip the night before finals.

After a while, my buddy said, you almost hate sleep. You see those restless, toss-and-turn hours as the most wasted hours of all. So give me 4 or 5 hours, a shower, and let’s get on with it. Today You grumbles at Yesterday You for a while. You may say something odd in 9 AM Marketing class. But then you remember the impromptu 1:17 AM dance party or the roommate’s spot-on George W. Bush impersonation. You laugh maybe a little too loud to yourself, in maybe a little too packed library or Subway car. Then you sigh: time to prove your worth a damn. Crack the menacing Capital Markets book. And go out and earn tonight.

So that the next morning you can grumble at the blaring alarm clock: not again.

Technorati Tags: sleep, insomnia, leonardo dicaprio, inception, sleep, article, column, essay, sleep debt, science of sleep

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  • Josh

    This is the most rambling thing I’ve ever read. What was the point of this odd collection of facts?

  • Anonymous

    this article seems to drastically change what it is trying to say somewhere in the middle. im not sure if that was before or after the irrelevant movie discussion. way to go.

  • FoolishPepsi

    I’m wondering if this article was written after only a few hours of sleep.

  • Anonymous

    You are: You’re is a contraction, your is a possessive.

  • Eric

    “Sleep more than that and you are more likely to die sooner. A University of California San Diego psychiatry study found ‘sleeping more than 7 to 8 hours per day has been consistently associated with increased mortality.’ But beware of sample bias here. The guy who sleeps 11 hours a night is more likely to be lazier and/or unhealthier.”

    That’s not sample bias, nor does it have anything even remotely to do with sample bias. It’s confusing correlation with causation, as you do in this article by saying “don’t sleep so much”, as if oversleeping *causes* increased mortality.

  • Eric

    Wins for Spice Girls picture

  • Anonymous

    this guy is crazy

  • paulard

    Yea, I concure with the coments. What was the whole point of this? It is horribly structured. I felt as if I was reading a novel written by my 10 yearold nephew.

    I do however like the concept and 90% of whats written.

  • ramin

    even though its pretty random i really liked it. keep it up

  • http://info-africacentre.blogspot.com daniel oberko

    Its good to have just enough sleep and a good build up of ur body.

  • larrythefatcat

    Christopher Nolan directed “Batman Returns”?

    …and all this time I thought it was Tim Burton, ya learn something new every day!

    • Anonymous

      it was timmy b

      • Anonymous

        Says Batman Begins to me

  • Nick

    This article was written on an insane caffeine high. Some of the most bizarre and senseless segways I’ve seen since the last time I was at a water park. I must have been 7 or 8 then. I had a great time despite the fact that the wave pool was really packed and that I was essentially swimming in urine. Reminds me of 2 days ago when I was at a car wash and a Chihuahua peed on one of those mini pylons that protect the people who are sitting and watching the car washers wash the car. In short, drunk driving kills and those pylons don’t protect your family from a dead son.

    • Anonymous

      Hahaha. I hope the author sees this.