25. Mormon Jesus

Charges: Least plausible Jesus. We heard his brother is the devil — OMG! Won’t even let his flock have a cup of coffee in the morning — what a jerk. As with any celebrity comeback, lacks the oomph of the glory years. Won’t stop baptizing dead people from other religions, which they generally don’t appreciate as much as he thinks.

Exhibit A: Loves Mitt Romney, Harry Reid, and Glenn Beck. And magic long johns.

Sentence: Interrupted during the game by Mormon missionaries.

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007