Chairman Mao


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My Endorsement for Obama

Written on February 4th, 2008 | Trackback URI |

In my America, corporate interests don’t deserve more attention than those of the American people. As a NYC public school teacher, I feel the Barack Obama stands up for the rights of my colleagues and students. His commitment to get us out of Iraq, his thoughtfully articulated universal healthcare plan and his promise to make the government work for *us* make him my candidate of choice. Besides, there’s something unnerving about two families sharing the White House for nearly 25 years…

Alas, I am empty. Ergo, Hamsters as Celebrities and Politicians

Written on January 29th, 2008 | Trackback URI |

Dearest Comrades:

It seems that I have fallen on tough times. My wheel is empty, my testicles have swollen up to ungodly proportions, and my food bowl contains foodstuffs that only the most deprived West Coast vegan would consume. I do not have much left in me, but what I do have left, I will share with you. Thusly, I present, Hamsties as Celebrities and Politicians:

Rob Schneider

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That cute retarded kid from Jerry McGuire

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One-time respected intellectual Noam Chomsky

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Oprah

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Christopher Robin

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All-star quarterback and closeted homosexual Eli Manning


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Truth About Hummers

Written on September 10th, 2007 | Trackback URI |

Revolutionary Mao Conclusions

Written on January 25th, 2007 | Trackback URI |

no true liberal can masquerade or moonlight as a democrat. they are too corrupt, too self-serving, and too willing to step aside in real moments of belief. i think the general direction we hit is

  • work within the democratic party as far left as possible that will still allow you to operate (more concerned about labor and law issues then say health care or abortion), especially working on the DNC and lobby groups;
  • working outside the democratic party but still attempting to work in the system. aka new alliance of green party, socialist/marxists, and Kucinich segment of democratic party. stretching ourselves on health care, environment, liberty (probably 3 most attractive leftist topics right now);

  • Call for a New Left

    Written on May 22nd, 2006 | Trackback URI |

    The left right now, in this moment, in this country, is scattered, immature,
    undeveloped, and spends more time on polemic bickering than actually getting
    anything done, and herein lies our greatest detriment, for the right in this
    country has Jesus to rally around, and their supreme faith in their twisted
    interperetation of Christianity keeps them strong, focused, and organized -
    they have common ideal, and the collective guts to unabashedly campaign for
    their ideals, often by any means necessary, with little regard for truth or
    fairness - just look at Ann Coulter. The right, too, has the ears of many
    in the Republican party, and even the moderates in that Big Party are
    willing to stand up and bring about change - just take a glance at their
    platform. We on the left, however, are brought up to be ashamed of our
    beliefs - the party that is purportedly “ours” is ashamed of our “liberal”
    and even “commie” views, and we should be too. How dare we offend those
    brave businessmen who sit in their offices and make billions from scamming
    pension plans and underpaying their employees! It takes courage to pursue
    greed over the common good, courage that we who fight for basic human rights
    and liberties obviously know nothing about. It also takes courage, I
    suppose, to value corporate contributions enough to sit back and hand the
    election to the other party, especially in a year when that party is the
    furthest right, and the most blatantly dishonest, of any in recent memory -
    it’s just not polite to remind the public that Bush lied, and that his lies
    have resulted in the deaths and maimings of tens of thousands, and the
    large-scale destruction of a nation completely unrelated to his “war on
    terror.” Indeed, the invasion of Iraq has quite probably bred more
    anti-American sentiment, and more terror, than a complete lack of action
    after September 11 could possibly have. But even that now-ubiquitous term -
    the “War on Terror” - has become something unquestioned, something of
    reverence, something even Capitalized. The media have made it a proper
    noun! Our very language has been altered to suit the every whim of this
    administration, and only we, the virtually - and I’m sure hopefully -
    disenfranchised left have anything more than mumbling agreements to say
    about it. The Democrats are, and always have been, nothing but a front for
    the Republicans, or perhaps more accurately, a front for the whims of big
    business - they absorb, stifle, and castrate every movement for change,
    starting with the revolutionary labor movements, and continuing with all the
    various civil rights movements - every threat to capitalism or the standing
    social order, once brought into the Democratic party, has abruptly ceased.
    And now, the Democrats are sitting back, ignoring our very real and very
    urgent protestations, and allowing this nation to be stolen by the great
    hypocrisy that is political christianity. We of the left need a unifying
    point, and Ralph Nader is the beginning of the coalescence of that point -
    our own political party, a party of truth, reason, justice, and freedom, a
    party dedicated to opposing tyranny in all its forms, and to the pursuit and
    preservation of the true American ideals - freedom and equality for all
    people, not just all CEOs. But none of the existing parties can stand for
    the whole left - we need a new party, or at least a coalition, to raise a
    flag in the name of justice, a flag that shows the two parties and the world
    that we won’t sit by and let our nation and our ideals be stolen, or ushered
    quietly into the dark. We will not go away, we will not be silenced, and
    only together, in one party, and not bickering in fifty, can this be done.

    this shit makes you look pretty ugly

    Written on May 15th, 2006 | Trackback URI |

    having just heard that tom petty cancelled tickets to scalpers and sold them at a reasonable price to real fans, i’m peeved that radiohead is doing nothing about rampant scalping of tickets to their us tour. check it out; tickets inflated 600%…

    knoxville is now the coolest city on earth

    Written on April 11th, 2006 | Trackback URI |

    i can’t help but think this will boost tourism to knoxville, no? they are so ugly that they are cute.

    ALARMS AND SURPRISES

    Written on April 4th, 2006 | Trackback URI |

    a new radiohead album “more terrifying than OK Computer”

    NOTE: Chairman Mao has since died and been replaced by a blonde female humanoid. The transition, is all but complete.

    Airborne Hamsty

    Written on January 18th, 2006 | Trackback URI |

    Usually I thought the only time hamsters went air born was when our owners threw us up in the air so we could shuffle our feet quickly whilest flying through the air. How wrong I was!

    Luckily I have an owner who just pokes me in the head and feeds me candy, instead of sending me through the mail.

    In other news, I am almost dead.

    Yours sincerely,
    Mao

    Do hamsters have souls?

    Written on December 21st, 2005 | Trackback URI |


    #b31: Do hamsters have souls?

    Yes.

    Another tidbit:

    Deanne did some investigating into American airline
    regulations for hamsters. Here are her findings:

    Most airlines do not have hamsters on their list of
    animals, so they fall into the “other/general” category. U.S.
    Air, American Airlines, TWA, United Airlines and Continental
    require you to put the hamster into the cargo hold.

    Delta Airlines allows 1-2 hamsters in the passengar cabin.
    The cage counts as carry-on luggage and must meet with carry-on
    size limitations. Delta allows only 2 animals in the cabin at a
    time, so the airline must be notified at the time the tickets are
    purchased.


    PS

    Written on December 15th, 2005 | Trackback URI |

    Who wants to make a dead squirrel into a hamsty?

    All About My Kind

    Written on December 14th, 2005 | Trackback URI |

    Dear Readers:

    As you may or may not know, I am a Siberian Dwarf Hamster. Not that this strikes me a particular sense of pride, as I am well integrated into American society. But, I felt it necessary to introduce you to some of my pals and bretheren and give you some information about hamsters in general.

    We are a very sophisticated breed. If you’ve read about me before, you know I am a hamster of refined taste and sophisticated fashion. Here is a hamster I am currently courting, check out her free mason hat (though I dislike global conspiracies, I will make an exception — look at those whiskers!!!):

    Final Days Approaching

    Written on November 28th, 2005 | Trackback URI |

    Dear Journal & Audience:

    I can feel my impending end nearing. I am short of breath, tired, and unable to use my hind legs. Further, I am being constantly tossed into the air by humanoids.

    I thought I would share some recent memories with you.

    Here is me crawling. My hair is disappearing fast and I am afraid I am becoming unattractive.

    Here some mean human has intrapped me in their hand. Squirming did me no good.

    in hats

    Written on October 23rd, 2005 | Trackback URI |

    I am at the height of high fashion and haute couture. My owner has purchased me a hat and I have modeled it for you all:

    perfect holiday gift

    Written on October 10th, 2005 | Trackback URI |

    look what i got for rosh hashanah! sweet!

    COOL

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