In my America, corporate interests don’t deserve more attention than those of the American people. As a NYC public school teacher, I feel the Barack Obama stands up for the rights of my colleagues and students. His commitment to get us out of Iraq, his thoughtfully articulated universal healthcare plan and his promise to make the government work for *us* make him my candidate of choice. Besides, there’s something unnerving about two families sharing the White House for nearly 25 years…

Dearest Comrades:

It seems that I have fallen on tough times. My wheel is empty, my testicles have swollen up to ungodly proportions, and my food bowl contains foodstuffs that only the most deprived West Coast vegan would consume. I do not have much left in me, but what I do have left, I will share with you. Thusly, I present, Hamsties as Celebrities and Politicians:

no true liberal can masquerade or moonlight as a democrat. they are too corrupt, too self-serving, and too willing to step aside in real moments of belief. i think the general direction we hit is

The left right now, in this moment, in this country, is scattered, immature,
undeveloped, and spends more time on polemic bickering than actually getting
anything done, and herein lies our greatest detriment, for the right in this
country has Jesus to rally around, and their supreme faith in their twisted
interperetation of Christianity keeps them strong, focused, and organized -
they have common ideal, and the collective guts to unabashedly campaign for
their ideals, often by any means necessary, with little regard for truth or
fairness - just look at Ann Coulter. The right, too, has the ears of many
in the Republican party, and even the moderates in that Big Party are
willing to stand up and bring about change - just take a glance at their
platform. We on the left, however, are brought up to be ashamed of our
beliefs - the party that is purportedly “ours” is ashamed of our “liberal”
and even “commie” views, and we should be too. How dare we offend those
brave businessmen who sit in their offices and make billions from scamming
pension plans and underpaying their employees! It takes courage to pursue
greed over the common good, courage that we who fight for basic human rights
and liberties obviously know nothing about. It also takes courage, I
suppose, to value corporate contributions enough to sit back and hand the
election to the other party, especially in a year when that party is the
furthest right, and the most blatantly dishonest, of any in recent memory -
it’s just not polite to remind the public that Bush lied, and that his lies
have resulted in the deaths and maimings of tens of thousands, and the
large-scale destruction of a nation completely unrelated to his “war on
terror.” Indeed, the invasion of Iraq has quite probably bred more
anti-American sentiment, and more terror, than a complete lack of action
after September 11 could possibly have. But even that now-ubiquitous term -
the “War on Terror” - has become something unquestioned, something of
reverence, something even Capitalized. The media have made it a proper
noun! Our very language has been altered to suit the every whim of this
administration, and only we, the virtually - and I’m sure hopefully -
disenfranchised left have anything more than mumbling agreements to say
about it. The Democrats are, and always have been, nothing but a front for
the Republicans, or perhaps more accurately, a front for the whims of big
business - they absorb, stifle, and castrate every movement for change,
starting with the revolutionary labor movements, and continuing with all the
various civil rights movements - every threat to capitalism or the standing
social order, once brought into the Democratic party, has abruptly ceased.
And now, the Democrats are sitting back, ignoring our very real and very
urgent protestations, and allowing this nation to be stolen by the great
hypocrisy that is political christianity. We of the left need a unifying
point, and Ralph Nader is the beginning of the coalescence of that point -
our own political party, a party of truth, reason, justice, and freedom, a
party dedicated to opposing tyranny in all its forms, and to the pursuit and
preservation of the true American ideals - freedom and equality for all
people, not just all CEOs. But none of the existing parties can stand for
the whole left - we need a new party, or at least a coalition, to raise a
flag in the name of justice, a flag that shows the two parties and the world
that we won’t sit by and let our nation and our ideals be stolen, or ushered
quietly into the dark. We will not go away, we will not be silenced, and
only together, in one party, and not bickering in fifty, can this be done.

having just heard that tom petty cancelled tickets to scalpers and sold them at a reasonable price to real fans, i’m peeved that radiohead is doing nothing about rampant scalping of tickets to their us tour. check it out; tickets inflated 600%…

i can’t help but think this will boost tourism to knoxville, no? they are so ugly that they are cute.

a new radiohead album “more terrifying than OK Computer”

NOTE: Chairman Mao has since died and been replaced by a blonde female humanoid. The transition, is all but complete.

Usually I thought the only time hamsters went air born was when our owners threw us up in the air so we could shuffle our feet quickly whilest flying through the air. How wrong I was!

Luckily I have an owner who just pokes me in the head and feeds me candy, instead of sending me through the mail.

In other news, I am almost dead.

Yours sincerely,
Mao

#b31: Do hamsters have souls?

Yes.

Another tidbit:

Deanne did some investigating into American airline
regulations for hamsters. Here are her findings:

Most airlines do not have hamsters on their list of
animals, so they fall into the “other/general” category. U.S.
Air, American Airlines, TWA, United Airlines and Continental
require you to put the hamster into the cargo hold.

Delta Airlines allows 1-2 hamsters in the passengar cabin.
The cage counts as carry-on luggage and must meet with carry-on
size limitations. Delta allows only 2 animals in the cabin at a
time, so the airline must be notified at the time the tickets are
purchased.

Who wants to make a dead squirrel into a hamsty?

Dear Readers:

As you may or may not know, I am a Siberian Dwarf Hamster. Not that this strikes me a particular sense of pride, as I am well integrated into American society. But, I felt it necessary to introduce you to some of my pals and bretheren and give you some information about hamsters in general.

We are a very sophisticated breed. If you’ve read about me before, you know I am a hamster of refined taste and sophisticated fashion. Here is a hamster I am currently courting, check out her free mason hat (though I dislike global conspiracies, I will make an exception — look at those whiskers!!!):

Dear Journal & Audience:

I can feel my impending end nearing. I am short of breath, tired, and unable to use my hind legs. Further, I am being constantly tossed into the air by humanoids.

I thought I would share some recent memories with you.

Here is me crawling. My hair is disappearing fast and I am afraid I am becoming unattractive.

Here some mean human has intrapped me in their hand. Squirming did me no good.

I am at the height of high fashion and haute couture. My owner has purchased me a hat and I have modeled it for you all:

look what i got for rosh hashanah! sweet!