Author Archive

Bad News, Fatties

In the, “I think we need a new PR department”, the BBC reports that BeautifulPeople.com cut 5,000 people from its site for putting on weight during the holidays. Or, as the caustic spokesmen explained,

“Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.”

Apparently BeautifulPeople is the Sizzlers of the internet: susceptible to the unending appetite of the overweight.

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Thomas Friedman, Freedom Thinker

From the Eggplant Post comes some quality Thomas Friedman mockery:

“Imagine a world where everyone is a sea lion, and then imagine that world if the only way sea lions can get around is on a bicycle. You see where we are headed? Sea lions don’t have feet, so we cant peddle the bicycles. If we don’t solve this smokiness problem, we are all in for a tough bike ride.” Friedman confirmed his observations of the world during a late dinner on the 2nd floor of the Hilton: “Why does everyone here look Chinese?” he asked himself. “I thought I was in Dubai.”

Read the whole damn thing. If you are anything like me, it will make your angry heart flutter.

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The Best Going Rogue Review You’ll Read

Best review ever:

There are many kinds of truth. There are truths based on facts, truths based on faith, and truths based on something that sounds as if it should be true (truthiness). Then there’s the kind of truth we find in Sarah’s book: stories and concepts that become truths simply because she states them. She’s a lot like our Lord and Savior, Glen Beck, in that respect.

Sometimes, she states truths that would be considered ludicrous if uttered by someone else. Her claim that the McCain campaign forced her to spend $150,000 in RNC funds to dress her family in designer clothes is one example of that. Although it might be easier to believe that she acted like a trailer park Zsa Zsa who’d found a credit card left behind at a possum feed, she blames McCain staffers. That’s good enough for us, because we have faith; we want to believe her truths.

But the book isn’t perfect. As much as I enjoyed the few short paragraphs in which Mrs Palin laid out her policy objectives, she could have condensed it all into one sentence: “I’m going to grab an Oxo Good Grips Stainless Serving Spatula and go all mavericky on your non-white, non-Christian and non-heterosexual butts.”

The book also fails to expose Mrs. Palin’s intellectual brilliance and keen grasp of foreign policy issues. Why wasn’t the text of her recent speech in Hong Kong included? Although it remains secret, it’s rumored that she viciously rebuked the Vietcong king for his assault on the Empire State Building. That’s a speech we’ve been waiting for nearly 75 years to hear. It’s big news and should have been included.

As you read other reviews of this book, please remember that Mrs. Palin has many enemies who are eager to pan her work. The Palin family’s most potent nemesis, Levi’s johnston, is no doubt fully erect and ready to spew globs of misfortune upon them for a third time. And reason-adoring intellectuals are certain to point out that an interview on Good Morning Topeka doesn’t qualify as a policy summit in the Far East.

But a few bad reviews won’t stop her. She’s seen much worse from her kitchen window. It can’t be pleasant to gaze upon Antichristograd every morning as you brew your coffee.

My review isn’t complete, but I think I’ll quit anyway, because writing reviews, like governing, is just too darned hard to finish.

[via PBH2 & PBH3]

See Also: Adam Bellow’s Fact-Checking, Ctd, Palin, like, totally pwn3d by Canadian comedian or something, Sarah Palin “bus tour” a hoax, more like “private jet tour”, Going Rogue: An American Life by Sarah Palin, Palin Populism Is Just Another Kind Of Elitism, Scariest Sarah Palin Moment Ever?, David Solway: Redeeming Sarah, Palin Throws Self Under Bus, Dems Hoping To Raise Cash Off Success Of Sarah Palin’s Going Rogue, Formatting The Palin Effect, Lady GaGa’s LaLa Land, Ctd, Palin Quits……………………………………Again, and Glenn Beck on Sarah Palin, “Get back in the Kitchen.”.

[tags]sarah palin, sara palin, going rogue, review of going rogue, levi johnston, sarah palin going rogue, sarah palin book, review, book review, hilarious, funny, amazon, best review on amazon[/tags]

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Shelter From The Storm

shelter-from-the-storm-booze

[via The Onion]

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The Onion Takes On The Teabagger Movement

Pwned:

Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head. “Our very way of life is under siege,” said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination.

“Right there in the preamble, the authors make their priorities clear: ‘one nation under God,'” said Mortensen, attributing to the Constitution a line from the Pledge of Allegiance, which itself did not include any reference to a deity until 1954. “Well, there’s a reason they put that right at the top.”

“Men like Madison and Jefferson were moved by the ideals of Christianity, and wanted the United States to reflect those values as a Christian nation,” continued Mortensen, referring to the “Father of the Constitution,” James Madison, considered by many historians to be an atheist, and Thomas Jefferson, an Enlightenment-era thinker who rejected the divinity of Christ and was in France at the time the document was written. “The words on the page speak for themselves.”

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