Young, Female, Republican, And Inspired By A Complete Moron

Today’s New York Times has a fairly generic ‘some young women are inspired by Sarah Palin because she has a vagina just like them’ article today entitled Young, Republican and Inspired by Palin. All standard fare, save for this:

Nathalie Snapp, 25, a doctoral candidate at Harvard, where she studies chemical physics, said: “I do very much identify with her as someone who has pursued having both a career and a family. I also really want both.”

What.the.fack. You’re getting a DOCTORATE IN CHEMICAL PHYSICS AT HARVARD…. and YOU LOOK UP TO SARAH “I THINK FRUIT FLIES ARE STUPID AND SO IS MEDICAL RESEARCH” PALIN? Are you serious? People should be looking up to you, Nathalie Snapp, instead of you admiring an over-publicized and proudly-ignorant hillbilly from Alaska.

I mean, come the fuck on, is Sarah Palin some beacon of hope for females everywhere? “Oh look at Sarah Palin, she pumped out 5 retard babies and 2 of them will become fodder for roadside bombs in Iraq!!!! I can now be everything I ever wanted to be!!!!” Big deal, by the way! She has kids and a job! You know who also does that? Bears. And seagulls. And Rosie O’Donnell.

PS. If you read this and want to get with me, because being publicly ridiculed turns you on, send me an email.

[tags]new york times, ny times, Young, Female, Republican, And Inspired By A Complete Moron, young republicans inspired by sarah palin, sarah palin inspirational, working women, nathalie snapp, doctoral candidate, harvard[/tags]

All My Sweet Bourgeois Money Makes Me Depressed :(

You know what would make me depressed? If I were a Governor’s aide that made over $100k a year and an Ivy League graduate and I had to pay my taxes. Taxes are such a jip and you just know that when the commu-crats come to power, it will go to those unwashed masses that don’t deserve organic produce and health care:

Gov. David A. Paterson’s top aide, who failed to pay income taxes or file returns from 2001 to 2005, was afflicted by “late-filing syndrome,” a condition that made it difficult for him to fill out his tax returns, his lawyer said on Wednesday.

The lawyer, Richard S. Kestenbaum, said that he believed that the aide, Charles J. O’Byrne, despite an annual income of about $100,000 and an Ivy League education, could not bring himself to undertake the task of filling out his tax forms every year. Mr. O’Byrne and his doctor have described him as clinically depressed during that period.

You read that right — O’Byrne was so distraught by the very idea of having his massive income taxed that he couldn’t bring himself to do it! I also suffer from ‘late-filing syndrome’, also known as ‘I wish I made $100k so I could hire a lawyer to avoid paying my income taxes.’

[Via the NYTimes]

See Also: Is It Contagious?, Culture of Corruption: Charles O’Byrne, Paterson’s Office Speaks, “Late filing syndrome”, The Symptoms of ‘Failure to File Syndrome’, Taxes Make Me Ill: Paterson Aide Invokes Late Filing Syndrome, and I-DON’T-WANNA-PAY-TAXES SYNDROME.

[tags]income taxes, income tax avoidance, late-filing syndrome, $100k, Charles J. O’Byrne, nytimes, new york times, article, tax depression, psychological condition, David A. Paterson, governor paterson, income tax evasion,

News To Make You Huff Glue (In Happiness)

$10 Golden Parachute bonus to whoever did this for humanity:

While former Lehman CEO Richard Fuld was testifying before the House Oversight Committee Oct. 6, CNBC reported he had been punched in the face at the Lehman Brothers gym after it was announced the firm was going bankrupt. CNBC and Vanity Fair contributor Vicki Ward said Fuld was attacked at the gym on a Sunday following the bankruptcy.

“Frankly, I sat there and listened and I’m with the guy who apparently, the day before Barclays announced they were coming in and Lehman had already filed for bankruptcy, went over to him in the gym and punched him because that’s how I feel when I, you know, when I watched that,” Ward said on the Oct. 6 “Power Lunch.” “I didn’t think he was contrite at all, I thought he was arrogant.”

“From two very senior sources – one incredibly senior source – that he went to the gym after … Lehman was announced as going under. He was on a treadmill with a heart monitor on. Someone was in the corner, pumping iron and he walked over and he knocked him out cold. And frankly after having watched this, I’d have done the same too.”

Basically, someone knocked out the CEO of Lehman Brothers. Whoever you are, you are a true hero.

See Also: The Sinking of the USS Lehman, The Let-Them-Eat-Cake Moment, Sinking of Lehman, Lehman Execs’ Golden Parachutes, and Lehman Bros. CEO Totally Got Knocked Out!

[tags]lehman brothers, Richard Fuld, punched in the face, knocked out, gym, lehman brothers gym, richard gold, richard fold, lehman brothers ceo, beat up, CNBC, failed bank, rich CEO[/tags]

With every third Fatwa, you get a free falafel.

Sarah Palin has caused the new President of Pakistan to have a Fatwa issued against him after their meeting in New York City was described as ‘flirtatious’ [source]:

Pakistan President Asif Ali Zardari seems to be heading towards fresh trouble as the prayer leader of the Lal Masjid in the heart of Islamabad has issued a fatwa against him. Maulana Abdul Ghafar, the prayer leader, seems to be irked by Zardari’s “you’re gorgeous” compliment to US vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin during a meeting.

When Zardari was asked to keep shaking hands with Palin for the cameras, he said, “If he’s (the aide) insisting, I might hug you.” He said the act was un-Islamic and unbecoming of a head of state of a Muslim country.

Maulana also said that Zardari shamed the entire Pakistani by publicly making indecent gestures towards Palin in Washington last Thursday.

Update: Sexy Picture below

Fuck Me, President Zardari!

[tags]sarah palin, sara palen, pakistani president, flirting, fatwa, islamabad, sarah palen, flirtatious, un meetings, united nations, washington dc, new york city, islamic, prayer leader[/tags]

The Simpsons Are Flying With Xenu

Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — last year gave the church $10 million to help spread the word of founder L. Ron Hubbard across the globe. It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychological ills and other “aberrant” behavior. Surprisingly, Nancy, 50, forked over twice as much as the Scientology’s most prominent member, Tom Cruise, who only gave $5 million in an installment plan.

Here are some of the celebrity gifts to Scientology from 2007 and their corresponding awards:

Nancy Cartwright, 50, Patron Laureate Award: $10 million.
Kirstie Alley, 57, Diamond Meritorious Award: $5 million.
John Travolta, 53, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million.
Kelly Preston, 45, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million.
Priscilla Presley, 62, Patron Award: $50,000.

Data from Page Six.