It’s been another fun week of White House intrigue in the blog-o-sphere. With Iraq entering it’s 5th year and Alberto Gonzales lubbing up his neck for the political guillotine, I’m feeling the heat all the way from Farragut Square. I even took an extended lunch break in Lafayette Park, right behind the White House, hoping to catch Tony Snow getting a rim job from a gay prostitute. Alas, it was not to be! But then again, there’s more and more chatter from the right about how they feel betrayed by their once ideal second coming of Reagan/Jesus.

BETRAYED! By the White House! Conservatism in America isn’t a legacy of arrogant and inhumane foreign policy, backwards beliefs in regard to women’s rights or religion, thinly veiled racism and homophobia or being reverse robin hoods! No, they wanted oh-so much more:

“We are conservative scholars, activists and writers. We do not favor a crippled executive or enfeebled government. In a time of danger, checks and balances make for stronger government because the people will more readily accept a muscular authority if barriers against abuses are strong. If at some future time Congress, in turn, aggrandizes power and invades the executive or judicial domains, we will be equally alert to sound the alarm. But today, the clear and present danger to conservative philosophy is the White House,”

Wah wah! I got gang-banged by Bill Kristol and Douglas Feith and all I got was this lousy case of Zionist Herpes! and jingo journalism!

Frankly, I’m tired of the whining. I want more sexy scandals and pictures of Lindsay Lohan. More reality TV shows! More Alberto “They Still Let My Kind Add Random o’s to WASP Names” Gonzalez please! More hot Michael Vick herpes stories!