Dearest Diary,

Today was both exhilirating and awful. The one they call ‘Lisa’ (the oppressor of my world, transformed from a pet store into a small, tragic wheel inside a translucent prison) brought home a gaggle of amateur filmmakers.

Little did I know that I was to star in a short entitled ‘Don’t kill him… smooch him’. I play the role of protagonist but have little on camera action. It was oh so wonderful to be the center of attention, I felt like the ugly duckling turned into a prom queen!

However, as the title suggests, the film encompassed a violent aura. Two of the bloodthirsty filmmakers desired my pretty, noble head to be guillotined after a brief trial from the sans-cullotes.

Luckily, a boy named Matt who was infatuated with my looks insisted on kissing me. I did enjoy this affection, but he repeatedly called me the wrong name (Melanie, and then Hamsty) during our love romp.

This leads to my continual regret over a recent sordid love affair I had with Gerbsties, our Arab next door neighbors gerbil. Our love was passionate but brief. Her heart was full of love but her parents did not approve of our inter-specie romance (I am of Hindi and Indian decent). This tragedy continues to live in my heart, but I will go on.

Yours truly,
Mao

PS. Here is the movie.