WORSE: CBS affiliate CBS13 reports that Roy Ashburn, a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk AFTER LEAVING A GAY BAR.

WORSER: CBS affiliate CBS13 reports that Roy Ashburn, a state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving a gay bar WITH ANOTHER MAN IN THE CAR.

WORST: CBS affiliate CBS13 reports that Roy Ashburn, a MARRIED state senator from Southern California was arrested for allegedly driving drunk after leaving a gay bar with another man in the car.

Then again, maybe he was just screwing dudes so he could know thy enemy! I’m pretty sure there is a passage in the Prince about hot man-on-man action being a key component of political maneuvering.

See Also: Ashburn Evaded Questions About His Homosexuality Last Year, Anti-Gay State Sen. Got DUI After Leaving Gay Club (VIDEO), Another Closet Case Homophobe Politician Bites the Dust, Yet Another Projecting Hypocrite Bites Off More Than He Can Chew, and Anti-Gay Senator Roy Ashburn Gets DUI Leaving Gay Club.

Technorati Tags: dey dook der sexuality, ray ashburn, homophobe, anti-gay, republican, gay republican, conservative christian, senator from california, state senator ray ashburn

We believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, unless Steve can hit the 3 and Adam can run the motion offense.

This week on the Onion:

A two-handed slam dunk by an openly homosexual man set off a chain of events this week that culminated in the legalization of gay marriage in nine states, including Mississippi and Alabama. “When I saw that dunk, I was like, ‘Whoa!’” said Alabama state Sen. Hinton Mitchem, adding that his office was flooded with calls and e-mails from constituents demanding legal recognition of same-sex marriages following the slam. “A guy with nasty moves like that should be entitled to the same fundamental rights as the rest of us.” On Thursday, the New York State Senate passed a resolution declaring that it would take a pretty sweet roundhouse kick from a gay mixed martial arts champion before it would allow homosexuals to marry.

We slander, you decide.

The Stage: Valentine’s Day, 2001. I am a high school senior, I do not have a valentine, and I have strangely colored hair. I do not like society or its assorted holidays.

The Victim: A ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ decorative banner in the cafeteria and the 900 or so cohabitants during lunch period.

Technorati Tags: valentines day prank, alec, valentine’s day, st. valentine’s day, prank, video, youtube, funny, funny video

laugh until your head falls off

_____________________

fini

When Palestinians do it, it’s terrorism; when Israelis do it, it’s self-defense.

Though it has been somewhat lost to our generation, as some distant relic of the past, humans are today, as they have ever been, caught in a struggle between classes of people. Such tumult is the inspiration of vicious cultural supremacy and nowhere is it as insipid as between the superrich and the struggling people of the world.

The equality and individual empowerment that makes democracy the purest political system, is marginalized in the vastness of the American condition. Even more defeating to democratic ideals is how obscene amounts of wealth can so utterly overshadow the generally good-natured instincts of the people.

Recently, the corporate instruments of unconscionable economic stratification have been granted new and indecent power over our political system. Already advantaged with control over mainstream media and unmatched governmental influence, corporate dollars now have legal sanction to engulf the political process as never before, leaving the voice of the people lost in a current of political manipulations undoubtedly to favor the narrow, hoarding interests of insatiable economic gain.

Sung and re-sung are the lullabies that put to rest discontent for the callous externalities of greed, with ideas of the American dream. It is a spell of nightingale syndrome which deceives the well intentioned into believing it is purely honest work, and not the disease of corruption, which leads to “success”. It is a spell that foments blindness and submission to an economic pyramid scheme where the usurious and supremacist economic elite maintain control at the expense of the tired masses.

Optimism After Heartbreak.

Despite concerted efforts to mollify economic unrest–despite efforts to direct popular culture and conventional wisdom away from populist inclinations—despite near monolithic control by the economic elite’s uniquely cold outlook—we are deeply fortunate. We have this moment.

Even with so much of the game rigged—we are not without means to change. We are privileged to live in an age where the openness of technology gives legitimacy to hope. Technology provides an incredibly powerful vehicle for the free exchange of ideas—ideas that are untempered by corrupting centralized authority. It is this, more than anything else that has breathed new life into democracy.

And still, there are no easy answers…

Problems with no clear solutions are unique in their ability to entangle the soul with sullen myopia. Our fiery passion to fight the good fight is quickly doused by complications. I am left sure only that peace and human dignity are the objectives. We’ll start there.

Technorati Tags: real jesus, republican jesus, comic, cartoon, politics, the gays, homosexuality, jesus on the gays, angry republican jesus, jesus on war, jesus on sins, jesus on judgment, on money, the bible does not condone you to be hateful idiotic bigot, the bible, the jesus in the bible, conservative jesus, republican jeebus, jeezus

1. Bill Cosby explains ‘the rap music’ and kids, all while including all his favorite corporate sponsors:

Cosby: Hey, kids! Meet Grampa Murphy.
Child: We have three grampas already!
Cosby: This one’s a great jazz musician.
Child: Oh, they all_ are.
Cosby: Oh, oh: you see, the kids, they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With their hippin’, and the hoppin’, and the bippin’, and the boppin’, so they don’t know what the jazz…is all about! You see, jazz is like the Jello Pudding Pop — no, actually, it’s more like Kodak film — no, actually, jazz is like the New Coke: it’ll be around forever, heh heh heh.

2. Homer Learns About Taking His Side to the Press

Homer: Somebody had to take the babysitter home. Then I noticed she was sitting on [cut] her sweet [cut] can. [cut] — o I grab her — [cut] sweet can. [cut] Oh, just thinking about [cut] her [splice] can [cut] I just wish I had he — [cut] sweet [cut] sweet [cut] s-s-sweet [cut] can.
Jones: So, Mr. Simpson: you admit you grabbed her can. What do you have to say in your defense?
Homer: [looking lustful in a clearly-paused VCR shot]
Jones: Mr. Simpson, your silence will only incriminate you further. [paused shot of Homer grows larger] No, Mr. Simpson, don’t take your anger out on me. Get back! Get back! Mist — Mr. Simpson — nooo!
Over-Voice: Dramatization — may not have happened.

3. Kang speaks volumes on American politics

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, 73-year-old candidate, Bob Dole.
Kang: Abortions for all.
[crowd boos]
Very well, no abortions for anyone.
[crowd boos]
Hmm… Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
[crowd cheers and waves miniature flags]

4. Gas, the world’s only unlimited resource.

Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!
The Federal Highway commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.
12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride!
Top of the line in utility sports, unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!
She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!

5. Homer doesn’t want to deal with Grimey (heya Strech)

Marge: Homer, why aren’t you at work?
Homer: The car won’t start. I don’t feel very good today. I am at work.
Marge: You’re afraid to go to work because Frank Grimes will be there, aren’t you?
Homer: That’s crazy talk. You’re crazy, Marge. Get off the road!
[honks horn]
Marge: You have to face him sometime, and when you do I’m sure he’ll be just as anxious to make up as you are.
Homer: No he won’t, he hates me.
Marge: He doesn’t hate you. He just feels insecure because you’re getting through life so easily, and it’s been so difficult for him.
Homer: Yeah, yeah, that’s his problem, he’s a nut! It’s not about me being lazy, it’s about him being a crazy nut.
Marge: Well … maybe. But I bet he would be less crazy if you were just a little more, mmm, professional in your work.
Homer: [gasps]
Marge: Just a little more. Then he won’t have any reason to resent you.
Homer: I’ll do it! [produces a bottle of Duff] To professionalism!

6. That’s it, I’m going to clown college.

Emcee: And now, to help introduce our fantastic new burger — the one with ketchup — here he is, coming in by parachute: Krusty the Klown!
[sound of Homer yelling, getting rapidly louder] [he smashes through the hamburger display; his parachute floats gently after him]
Children: Yay!
Homer: “To audience: I now proclaim this new burger…for sale!”
Children: Yay!
Homer: [sees emcee motioning, laughs like Krusty] [Homer does some inept cartwheels] Oh…save me.
Children: Yay!
[a midget in a prison outfit and mask walks out]
Child: It’s the Krusty Burglar!
Homer: Ohmigod! He’s stealing all the burglars! Why you little –
[jumps Krusty Burglar, starts pummeling him]
Emcee: Oh, Homer, it — it’s all — it — it’s all j — jus — just an act!
Child: [crying] Stop! Stop, he’s already dead.
Emcee: Er, Krusty the Klown, everybody!
[a few children clap; the rest are too horrified]

7. Quintessential Moleman.

Audience: Boo! Boo!
Burns: Smithers…are they booing me?
Smithers: Uh, no, they’re saying “Boo-urns! Boo-urns!”
Burns: Are you saying “boo” or “Boo-urns”?
Audience: Boo! Boo!
Hans: I was saying “Boo-urns”…

8. It still sounds better than Applebee’s

Moe: If you like good food, good fun, and a whole lot of…crazy crap on the walls, then come on down to Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag.
Announcer: At Moe’s, we serve good old-fashioned home cooking deep fried to perfection.
[Moe submerges a whole tray covered with food, utensils,etc., in the deep fryer]
[he takes the fried tray to a couple, who break off pieces and give him the thumbs-up]

9. Set your clock to the jock’s haircut:

Grandma: His wild, untamed facial hair revealed a new world of rebellion, of change. A world where doors were open for women like me. But Abe was stuck in his button-down plastic-fantastic Madison Avenue scene.
Abe: Look at them sideburns! He looks like a girl. Now, Johnny Unitas — there’s a haircut you could set your watch to.

10. Sideshow Bob explains everyone’s hidden desire for draconian Republican politics:

Bob: Because you need me, Springfield. Your guilty conscience may force you to vote Democratic, but deep down inside you secretly long for a cold-hearted Republican to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king. That’s why I did this: to protect you from yourselves.

11. The Worlds Smartest Man: Larry Flynt

Council: Stephen Hawking!
Skinner: The world’s smartest man!
Lisa: What are you doing here?
Hawking: I wanted to see your utopia, but now I see it is more of a Fruitopia.
Skinner: I’m sure what Dr. Hawking means is –
Hawking: Silence. I don’t need anyone to talk for me, except this voice box. You have clearly been corrupted by power. For shame.
Homer:Larry Flynt is right! You guys stink!

12. Vegetarianism is for commies.

Lisa: Wait Dad! Good news, everyone! You don’t have to eat meat! I’ve got enough gazpacho for everyone. [Crowd murmurs.] It’s tomato soup, served ice cold!
[Crowd laughs out loud.]
Barney: Go back to Russia!

13. Can you lend me a jar of love?

Krik: Oh, my demo tape!
Homer: [Homer examines the tape] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”
[laughing] “Can I Borrow a Feeling?”
[continues laughing] That’s your picture on the front…
[still laughing]
Kirk: Go ahead, Homer, laugh at me.
Homer: I already did.

14. The Infinite Power of DJ Robots

Boss: Look, our ratings are down, and the station is being swamped with angry calls and letter-bombs. And it’s all your fault!
Bill: Yes it is, ma’am.
Boss: This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of inane chatter.
[presses a button]
DJ 3000: Hey, hey. How about that weather out there?
Woah! That was the caller from hell.
Well, hot dog! We have a weiner.
Bill: Man, that thing’s great!
Marty: Don’t praise the machine!
Boss: If you don’t get that kid an elephant by tomorrow, the DJ 3000 gets your job.
[Marty punches it]
DJ 3000: Those clowns in congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.
Bill: [laughs] How does it keep up with the news like that?

15. Candy Apple Island — what’s there!??!

Karl: Hey, I heard we’re goin’ to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Karl: Apes. But they’re not so big.

16. Crab juice does sound better

Homer: Now what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
Vendor: Mountain Dew or crab juice.
Homer: Blecch! Ew! Sheesh! I’ll take a crab juice.

17. I was personally spanked by both George Sr. and George Jr.

Homer: He spanked you? You? Bart Simpson?
Bart: I begged him to stop, but he said it was for the good of the nation.
Abe: Big deal! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents till the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions.
Marge: Grampa, I know in your day, spanking was common, but Homer and I just don’t believe in that kind of punishment.
Abe: And that’s why your no-good kids are running wild!
[points at Lisa, who is reading quietly]

18. Take the Zepplin to Prussia, and say hi to the Bismarck for me:

Burns: Yes, I’d like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
Post Office Employee: Uh, I better look in the manual. This book must be out of date: I don’t see “Prussia”, “Siam”, or “autogyro”.
Burns: Well, keep looking!

19. Like Urkel!

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice… like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night… like Urkel!

20. You’ve never had your pants grabbed off by friendly beavers?

Carl: Oh no! He’s going over the falls!
Lenny: Oh good. He snagged that tree branch.
Carl: Oh no! The branch broke off!
Lenny: Oh good. He can grab onto them pointy rocks.
Carl: Oh no! Them rocks broke his arms and legs.
Lenny: Oh good. Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.
Carl: Oh no! They’re biting him, and stealing his pants.

21. McBain Explains Woody Allen:

McBain: Now, my Woody Allen impression: I’m a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.

22. What is there to do without cable TV?

Announcer: Your cable TV is experiencing difficulties. Please, do not panic. Resist the temptation to read or talk to loved ones. Do not attempt sexual relations, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered and useless.
Wiggum: [checking under the covers] Well I’ll be damned.

23. Paddlings.

Jasper: Talking out of turn…that’s a paddling. Looking out the window…that’s a paddling. Staring at my sandals…that’s a paddling. Paddling the school canoe…ooh, you better believe that’s a paddling.

24. The man in the White House doesn’t care about sexual harassment:

“Ashley”: No, Mr. Simpson! A cat is a living creature.
“Homer”: I don’t care. [runs it over]
“Homer”: Now I’m going to grab me some sweet.
“Ashley”: No, Mr. Simpson, that’s sexual harassment. If you keep it up, I’ll yell so loud the whole country will hear!
“Homer”: With the man in the White house? [laughs] Not likely!

25. Sweet sweet Mooooon money

Royce: That’s the miracle of the franchise. You get all the equipment and know-how you need, plus a familiar brand-name people trust. You’ll be on a rocket-ride to the moon! And while you’re there, would you pick up some of that nice, green moon money for me — Royce McCutcheon!
Homer: No deal, McCutcheon, that moon money is mine!

Technorati Tags: best 25 simpsons moments, quotes, videos, video clips, simpsons quotes, full video clips, watch videos, homer, bart, moe, bill cosby, rap music, canyonero, funniest simpsons quotes, homer simpson, bart simpson, lisa simpson, gazpacho, moleman, ralph, ralph wiggum, best quotes, best moments, best video clips, funny, top 25, list, best of the simpsons, top scenes, best scenes

If you want more PBH, follow PBH on Twitter, check out PBH on Tumblr, PBH on Blogspot, Disgraceful and Sexy (more updates coming soon), Die Guido Die (the hottest internet property since Pets.com), and Die Hipster Die (not the hottest internet property).

Maf54 (7:25:14 PM): hey
Auto response from Xxxxxxxxx (7:25:14 PM): scrounging for food…brb
Maf54 (7:25:25 PM): ok
Maf54 (7:25:35 PM): kep scrounging
Xxxxxxxxx (7:31:51 PM): boo
Maf54 (7:32:13 PM): bo dude
Xxxxxxxxx (7:32:17 PM): lol
Xxxxxxxxx (7:32:26 PM): whered ya go this afternoon
Maf54 (7:33:39 PM): i am in pensecola…had to catch a plane
Xxxxxxxxx (7:33:47 PM): oh well thats fun
Maf54 (7:34:04 PM): indeed
Xxxxxxxxx (7:34:14 PM): what are you doing in pensecola
Maf54 (7:34:21 PM): now in my hotel room
Xxxxxxxxx (7:34:39 PM): well ..like why did you go there
Maf54 (7:35:02 PM): for the campaign
Xxxxxxxxx (7:35:29 PM): have you officialy announced yt
Maf54 (7:35:45 PM): not yet
Xxxxxxxxx (7:36:06 PM): cool cool…
Maf54 (7:37:27 PM): how my favorite young stud doing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:46 PM): tired and sore
Xxxxxxxxx (7:37:52 PM): i didnt no waltzing could make you sore
Maf54 (7:38:04 PM): from what
Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:34 PM): what do you mean from what
Xxxxxxxxx (7:38:42 PM): from waltzing…im sore from waltzing
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): tahts good
Maf54 (7:39:32 PM): you need a massage
Xxxxxxxxx (7:40:44 PM): got kicked off?
Maf54 (7:41:24 PM): must have
Xxxxxxxxx (7:41:57 PM): ugh tomorrow i have the first day of lacrosse practice
Maf54 (7:42:27 PM): love to watch that
Maf54 (7:42:33 PM): those great legs running
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:38 PM): haha…they arent great
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:45 PM): thats why we have conditioning
Xxxxxxxxx (7:42:56 PM): 2 days running….3 days lifting
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:11 PM): every week
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:14 PM): until the end of march
Maf54 (7:43:27 PM): well dont ruin my mental picture
Xxxxxxxxx (7:43:32 PM): oh lol…sorry
Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): nice
Maf54 (7:43:54 PM): youll be way hot then
Xxxxxxxxx (7:44:01 PM): haha…hopefully
Maf54 (7:44:22 PM): better be
Maf54 (7:46:01 PM): well I better let you go do oyur thing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:07 PM): oh ok
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:11 PM): have fun campaigning
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:17 PM): or however you spell it
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:18 PM): lol
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:25 PM): ill see ya in a couple of weeks
Maf54 (7:46:33 PM): did any girl give you a haand job this weekend
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:38 PM): lol no
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:40 PM): im single right now
Xxxxxxxxx (7:46:57 PM): my last gf and i broke up a few weeks agi
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): are you
Maf54 (7:47:11 PM): good so your getting horny
Xxxxxxxxx (7:47:29 PM): lol…a bit
Maf54 (7:48:00 PM): did you spank it this weekend yourself
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:04 PM): no
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:16 PM): been too tired and too busy
Maf54 (7:48:33 PM): wow…
Maf54 (7:48:34 PM): i am never to busy haha
Xxxxxxxxx (7:48:51 PM): haha
Maf54 (7:50:02 PM): or tired..helps me sleep
Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:15 PM): thats true
Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:36 PM): havent been having a problem with sleep though.. i just walk in the door and collapse well at least this weekend
Maf54 (7:50:56 PM): i am sure
Xxxxxxxxx (7:50:57 PM): i dont do it very often normally though
Maf54 (7:51:11 PM): why not
Maf54 (7:51:22 PM): at your age seems like it would be daily
Xxxxxxxxx (7:51:57 PM): not me
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:01 PM): im not a horn dog
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:07 PM): maybe 2 or 3 times a week
Maf54 (7:52:20 PM): thats a good number
Maf54 (7:52:27 PM): in the shower
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:36 PM): actually usually i dont do it in the shower
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:42 PM): just cause i shower in the morning
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:47 PM): and quickly
Maf54 (7:52:50 PM): in the bed
Xxxxxxxxx (7:52:59 PM): i get up at 530 and am outta the house by 610
Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:03 PM): eh ya
Maf54 (7:53:24 PM): on your back
Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:30 PM): no face down
Maf54 (7:53:32 PM): love details
Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:34 PM): lol
Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:36 PM): i see that
Xxxxxxxxx (7:53:37 PM): lol
Maf54 (7:53:39 PM): really
Maf54 (7:53:54 PM): do you really do it face down
Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:03 PM): ya
Maf54 (7:54:13 PM): kneeling
Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:31 PM): well i dont use my hand…i use the bed itself
Maf54 (7:54:31 PM): where do you unload it
Xxxxxxxxx (7:54:36 PM): towel
Maf54 (7:54:43 PM): really
Maf54 (7:55:02 PM): completely naked?
Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:12 PM): well ya
Maf54 (7:55:21 PM): very nice
Xxxxxxxxx (7:55:24 PM): lol
Maf54 (7:55:51 PM): cute butt bouncing in the air
Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:00 PM): haha
Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:05 PM): well ive never watched myslef
Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:08 PM): but ya i guess
Maf54 (7:56:18 PM): i am sure not
Maf54 (7:56:22 PM): hmmm
Maf54 (7:56:30 PM): great visual
Maf54 (7:56:39 PM): i may try that
Xxxxxxxxx (7:56:43 PM): it works
Maf54 (7:56:51 PM): hmm
Maf54 (7:56:57 PM): sound inetersting
Maf54 (7:57:05 PM): i always use lotion and the hand
Maf54 (7:57:10 PM): but who knows
Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:24 PM): i dont use lotion…takes too much time to clean up
Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:37 PM): with a towel you can just wipe off….and go
Maf54 (7:57:38 PM): lol
Maf54 (7:57:45 PM): where do you throw the towel
Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:48 PM): but you cant work it too hard….or its not good
Xxxxxxxxx (7:57:51 PM): in the laundry
Maf54 (7:58:16 PM): just kinda slow rubbing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:23 PM): ya….
Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:32 PM): or youll rub yourslef raw
Maf54 (7:58:37 PM): well I have aa totally stiff wood now
Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:40 PM): cause the towell isnt very soft
Maf54 (7:58:44 PM): i bet..taht would hurt
Xxxxxxxxx (7:58:50 PM): but you cn find something softer than a towell i guess
Maf54 (7:58:59 PM): but it must feel great spirting on the towel
Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:06 PM): ya
Maf54 (7:59:29 PM): wow
Maf54 (7:59:48 PM): is your little guy limp…or growing
Xxxxxxxxx (7:59:54 PM): eh growing
Maf54 (8:00:00 PM): hmm
Maf54 (8:00:12 PM): so you got a stiff one now
Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:19 PM): not that fast
Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:20 PM): hey
Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:32 PM): so you have a fetich
Maf54 (8:00:32 PM): hey what
Xxxxxxxxx (8:00:40 PM): fetish**
Maf54 (8:00:43 PM): like
Maf54 (8:00:53 PM): i like steamroom
Maf54 (8:01:04 PM): whats yours
Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:09 PM): its kinda weird
Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:14 PM): lol
Maf54 (8:01:21 PM): i am hard as a rock..so tell me when your reaches rock
Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:23 PM): i have a cast fetish
Maf54 (8:01:27 PM): well tell me
Maf54 (8:01:32 PM): cast
Xxxxxxxxx (8:01:44 PM): ya like…plaster cast
Maf54 (8:01:49 PM): ok..so what happens
Maf54 (8:01:58 PM): how does that turn you in
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:02 PM): i dont know
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:04 PM): it just does
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:08 PM): ive never had one
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:16 PM): but people that have them turn me on
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:27 PM): and if i had one it would probably turn me on
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:29 PM): beats me
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:32 PM): its kinda weird
Xxxxxxxxx (8:02:50 PM): but along with that i like the whole catholic girl look….thats our schools uniform
Maf54 (8:03:02 PM): ha thats wild
Xxxxxxxxx (8:03:14 PM): ya but now im hard
Maf54 (8:03:32 PM): me 2
Maf54 (8:03:42 PM): cast got you going
Maf54 (8:03:47 PM): what you wearing
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:04 PM): normal clothes
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:09 PM): tshirt and shorts
Maf54 (8:04:17 PM): um so a big buldge
Xxxxxxxxx (8:04:35 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:04:45 PM): um
Maf54 (8:04:58 PM): love to slip them off of you
Xxxxxxxxx (8:05:08 PM): haha
Maf54 (8:05:53 PM): and gram the one eyed snake
Maf54 (8:06:13 PM): grab
Xxxxxxxxx (8:06:53 PM): not tonight…dont get to excited
Maf54 (8:07:12 PM): well your hard
Xxxxxxxxx (8:07:45 PM): that is true
Maf54 (8:08:03 PM): and a little horny
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:11 PM): and also tru
Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): get a ruler and measure it for me
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:38 PM): ive already told you that
Maf54 (8:08:47 PM): tell me again
Xxxxxxxxx (8:08:49 PM): 7 and 1/2
Maf54 (8:09:04 PM): ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Maf54 (8:09:08 PM): beautiful
Xxxxxxxxx (8:09:38 PM): lol
Maf54 (8:09:44 PM): thats a great size
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:00 PM): thank you
Maf54 (8:10:22 PM): still stiff
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:28 PM): ya
Maf54 (8:10:40 PM): take it out
Xxxxxxxxx (8:10:54 PM): brb…my mom is yelling
Maf54 (8:11:06 PM): ok
Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:02 PM): back
Maf54 (8:14:37 PM): cool hope se didnt see any thing
Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:54 PM): no no
Xxxxxxxxx (8:14:59 PM): she is computer dumb though
Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:01 PM): it makes me so mad
Maf54 (8:15:04 PM): good
Maf54 (8:15:08 PM): haha
Maf54 (8:15:11 PM): why
Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:23 PM): cause she cant do anything
Maf54 (8:15:31 PM): oh well
Xxxxxxxxx (8:15:41 PM): she couldnt figure out how to download a file from an email and open it
Maf54 (8:15:53 PM): haha
Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:14 PM): and she only does it like a million times a day
Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:16 PM): oh well
Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:18 PM): whatever
Xxxxxxxxx (8:16:53 PM): well i better go finish my hw…i just found out from a friend that i have to finish reading and notating a book for AP english
Maf54 signed off at 8:17:43 PM.

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