The Keith Olbermann Suspension Conspiracy

Author’s Note: Innovations from General Electric have probably killed more people than any other corporation in the history of mankind. As such, I hold no delusion that anything put forth from their media holding, NBC, is for the best interest of me or the average American. GE bought those properties intending to forward their agenda, so it’s unfathomable that a savior for the left will spring forth from its bosom. If you are looking for that voice I would suggest you shift your gaze to independent media like Democracy Now, WikiLeaks, and TruthDig.

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It was emblazoned everywhere I looked. “Emergency: Keith Olbermann suspended for making political contributions.” It couldn’t have been any worse if someone had kicked Superman in the nuts with a kryptonite boot. The American way of life was at stake.

And the unfairness of it all. Despite the fact that other MSNBC pundits like Joe Scarborough and Pat Buchanan had done the same thing, Olbermann was being singled out for reprimand. It was a classic case of the corporate overlords picking on the diminutive voice of the people. Oh the humanity!

When I woke up this morning it was still being discussed everywhere I looked, and people were certain that their liberal value system was under attack. Mom, baseball, apple pie; was nothing sacred anymore? The portending corporate takeover of America was staring us in the face, and it was all centered on Keith Olbermann and his $7200 in political contributions.

So is that what’s really happening? Has MSNBC decided to give up all pretense of being a truly “fair and balanced” news source and rid itself of its liberal voices? Are America’s freedoms once again under attack? It begs the question, what’s really going on with MSNBC and Keith Olbermann?

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It’s obvious that most people have never watched professional wrestling critically in an attempt to decipher how it is they mesmerize crowds. As a boy I would go watch All-Star Wrestling at the Municipal Auditorium in Topeka, and it was good guys versus bad guys turned into a theatrical art form, a true morality play.

In one corner you had Texas Bob Geigel and Bob Brown, Canada’s greatest athlete, both ugly, gnarly, mean and nasty looking dudes. In the other corner you had Ronnie Reed and Steve Bolus, two clean-cut and fresh-faced young men, the best America had to offer. They would vie in the ring for the coveted North American Tag Team Championship title.

It would start with Reed putting Brown in a headlock, and Brown getting out of it by pulling Reed’s hair. There were two old ladies, twins, who attended every match (they were part of the show) and sat on the front row. They would immediately rush to the ring and bang their purses on the ring apron, protesting to the referee about the hair pulling. While the referee was distracted by them, Bob Geigel would get in the ring, and both he and Brown would beat on Ronnie Reed mercilessly. Geigel would sneak out of the ring just before the referee turned around.

This would infuriate Steve Bolus, who would jump into the ring to save his partner, but the referee would stop him and push him back into his corner. Once again while the referee’s back was turned, Geigel and Brown would both beat on Reed. This time Brown would leave the ring just as the referee was turning around and Geigel would put Reed back into a headlock.

The crowd would be yelling hysterically that Brown was the one that should be in the ring, and the referee would question Geigel about it. Geigel would shake his head in an exaggerated fashion, claiming no, we really did tag each other and I should be here. Unable to take it anymore, Steve Bolus would bound back into the ring, dying to punch Geigel in the face, but the referee once again would stop him and push him out of the ring. Then the whole thing with Geigel and Brown beating on Ronnie Reed while the referee’s back was turned would start all over again.

Finally, when the crowd and Steve Bolus could take it no longer, Reed would somehow manage to tag Bolus, who would soar into the ring with murder in his eyes. He would start kicking both Geigel and Brown’s asses until the two villains recognized that discretion was the better part of valor and leave the ring for the safety of the floor. The crowd would go into a frenzy.

Do you see how it works? For this dynamic to succeed there must be a good guy, a bad guy, a witless referee that can be easily distracted and a crowd that is heavily invested in the good guy prevailing. It doesn’t work with two good guys or two bad guys, a competent referee or a disengaged crowd. But when all of these elements come together, then you have a show.

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Let’s compare this dynamic with what’s happening in the Keith Olbermann conspiracy and see if it’s any different.

If you’re a liberal here’s how it plays out: Keith Olbermann is the good guy, and GE, FOX News, Joe Scarborough or Patrick Buchanan (take your pick) are the bad guys. GE CEO Phil Griffin is the witless referee and Rachel Maddow serves as the two little old ladies sitting at ringside.

Olbermann pulls a gaffe and makes political contributions without informing his employer, something Scarborough and Buchanan both did, yet they seemingly got away with it. Griffin, the witless referee, suspends Olbermann without pay, “pending an investigation.” Outrage builds in the crowd (that’s us) over the apparent disparity in justice. It appears that Scarborough and Buchanan got away with it (pulling hair) yet somehow Olbermann is punished for doing the right thing (jumping into the ring to rescue these poor liberal candidates).

Rachel Maddow pounds on the ring apron trying to get Griffin’s (the referee’s) attention that something has gone wrong here, but being witless he doesn’t seem to care. It’s the very same morality play we watched as children at the Municipal Auditorium. Now if you’re a FOX News supporter and you’re watching, you see the good guys (Scarborough, Buchanan, et al.) as winning and the bad guy (Olbermann) getting what he deserves. Everybody sees it from their own vantage point.

Look, we just had a devastating election cycle for Democrats, and MSNBC has to be concerned about whether we’ll turn off the TV in disgust, unwilling to watch the funeral procession. So just like in the morality play of wrestling, a gross injustice is committed to stir our deep sense of fair play and re-engage us back into the debate. All those online petitions you sign only serves to tell them how well their PR stunt is working.

Pardon my cynicism, but GE is a corporation, and principles have no bearing in their actions. Their concern is and only ever has been the bottom line, and their goal is to drive revenues in any way they can. What better way to get our attention than threaten the only outlet many liberals feel they have in the media?

Do you remember what Jimmy Swaggart did and how many times they recycled his sorry ass? A TV preacher caught with two dollar hookers, and all he had to do was put a little Vicks in his eyes to generate tears and beg Jesus to forgive him, and they were good with it. Corporations don’t fire their money men over principles, only over ratings, and Olbermann’s ratings have been more than sufficient.

I’ll probably get flamed for this, but I don’t believe there’s gross indignities in the corporate world, only profits and losses, and right now Olbermann is profitable. Olbermann and Griffin are probably sitting somewhere having a beer and laughing at all the names on the petitions. They’re laughing because we think this shit is real, and they’re laughing all the way to the bank.

Oh look, Scarborough just gouged Olbermann in the eye (but the referee had his back turned).

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Larry Wohlgemuth was raised during the tumultuous 60s in the midst of sometimes violent civil rights and antiwar protests. After a stint in the Air Force during the Vietnam War, he earned a BBA degree from Washburn University. Wohlgemuth leans so far to the left he prefers to be called “Comrade”, and his book, “Capitalism’s Final Solution” is planned to be released in the spring, 2011. Larry is a contributor to Prose Before Hos and runs his own blog, It Begs the Question.

See Also: Keith Olbermann Suspended From MSNBC Indefinitely Without Pay, Stewart congratulates Wallace on Fox News’ success in winning the House for the GOP, Keith Olbermann: He’s Baaaaack!, Keith Olbermann Suspended for Making Political Contributions, The return of Keith Olbermann, Kabuki Theater, The Return of Keith Olbermann, and Keith Olbermann To Be Back On Air Tuesday Night, FEC Shows Lots Of MSNBC Contributions To Candidates.

[tags]keith olbermann, general electric, nbc, msnbc, liberal, reporting, suspension of olbermann, politics as wrestling, conspiracy theory, article, column, essay[/tags]