A Homeless Man Answers Our Spam

Every once and a while I like to TALK ABOUT all the LETTERS I receive in my head from curious readers like yourself. So let’s jump right in, or as my pa would say, “You better put on that dress if you know what’s good for you.”

Lorenz says:
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What? Palette? Are you from the CIA? They are always after my brain, you know. Is that what you mean by palette? Of course it is. You DO know. You know too much already!

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Your sites are stupid! You know what’s a pleasant surprise? Waking up nice and cozy one day, about to go fight those pan faces in Nam, and then you come back, and you’re sleeping on a turtle! How about that, AMERICA? Chris Dodd for President!

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Now a we’z a talking. Do you let orientals or red heads into your casino? Cuz I hate em! Mostly because we killed em in Vietnam! God those were the good ol days.

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Well goog morning to you too, NAZI BREATH. Are you saying I’m fat? And not phat but fat. Which is what you say I am because I need to loose weight and I’m fat and why don’t you love me mom!!!!!!!!!!!! Got any change?

Guess what happens when an urge to wee unites with a naughty mood,
all in one hot chick having an outdoor walk?

Having some pee play in the streets is so much fun!
Dirty-minded girls completely ignore people who might see them.

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man i love pissing, this one time some nice other bums gave me a 40 but it wasnt a 40! it was a 40 of pee! but i drank it anywayz cuz what do i care im drunk already man. fuck! i want r kelly to piss on my chest, i get so horny off of that. the two things me and r kelly got in commons is we both made hit R&B songs, and we both got arrested for exposing ourselves in front of an all girls high school. but you gotta learn girls! and nothing says learning like putting it in your mouth while i fail to get an erection.

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woah there doggy style i dunno bout this gay stuff. i mean one time when i was drunk i let this guy rub his ding dong on my leg till he creamed but thats not gay. afterwards he put it on toast and made me eat it but then he gave me a back massage so i was like cool why not! and that’s when i learned the true meaning of winter.

ok thats it ive goten enough of this box with the things that say things when i type them but who cares? i do what i want because the government doesnt own me. ill be passed out with my stick and turtle pillow if you need me.

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