Confession

I’m going to admit something that, these days, is unfashionable.

I watch television.

I watch it, I like it, I have cable, and not just for the History channel or BBC World News.

I like to watch trashy reality shows on VH1. I like cooking shows. I could probably give you a detailed list of every Food Network personality. I like stupid shows aimed at women like all those ridiculous makeover shows that I know, intellectually, are dumb and condescending, but no one’s watching me in my little studio apartment, so what the hell.

Anytime a group of 20-30 year olds get together, someone, at some point in time will declare, proudly, how little television they watch:

“I haven’t even turned *on* my TV in weeks!”

“Oooh, you have cable…wow”

“I haven’t had a TV since I was a freshman!”

“Sorry, you know, I really don’t keep up with that stuff anymore. I didn’t watch that. In fact, I never watch TV.”

I don’t know how much more of this self-important tripe I can take. Why don’t people just say what they mean? Because when I hear shit like that, I know what people are really saying is, ‘I am above popular culture, and therefore superior to you. Also, my time is so massively important that the world would come to a screaching halt if I sat down to enjoy a soccer game or an episode of Good Eats.’

Television is no better or worse for your brain than reading or looking at photographs or paintings or absorbing any other kind of media. The whole ‘TV rots your brain’ myth has come about because it’s the most ubiquitous form of entertainment, and fun and leisure makes puritanical Americans nervous, even though they crave it more than anyone. If you read novels written before the 1940s or so, you’ll see characters saying the same things to their children about reading novels.

I’m not saying that my morbid fascination with Breaking Bonaduce is admirable or a sign of great intellectual rigor on my part, and there’s nothing wrong with not liking television or not being able to afford one or whatever, but don’t act like you’re above it. The box is also a mirror, and frankly I think it’s irresponsible not to look into it once in awhile, even if you don’t always like what you see.

P.S. I am a copy editor.

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a fun weekend; synopsis

night 1

consumed too much; went to clarendon

old friends are old burdens

woke up in a daze covered by a thin blanket; drove home

1 hour of traffic on saturday morning; melted away an afternoon

phone tag, complicated plans; walked a few miles

night 2

ate delicious mexican; increased alcohol consumption

became belligerent; yelled screamed and stomped

helped kim up; helped kim down

yelled at passer-by’s; some alec offers: 5 dollar condomless orgy, guy-only spin the bottle

fell asleep filthy and drunk; woke up the same way

ate a delicious bagel; wonder what ive done to myself

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Friday’s are lax and offensive

An employee in a crowded office who already spent most of the morning talking on the phone, referring to her son:

‘What a sorry ass motha fucker’

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LIBERAL CRAP I NEVER WANT TO HEAR AGAIN

From Mr. Vonnegut himself:

Give us this day our daily bread. Oh sure.

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those wh trespass against us.
Nobody better trespass against me. I’ll tell you that.

Blessed are the meek.

Blessed are the merciful. You mean we can’t use torture?

Blessed are the peacemakers. Jane Fonda?

Love your enemies – Arabs?

Ye cannot serve God and Mammon. The hell I can’t! Look at the Reverand Pat Robertson. And He is as happy as a pig in s**t.

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Quiet Revolution

Why can’t people just shutthefuckup once in awhile? Everyone’s on their cell phones on the bus, yelling into the receiver as if we all want to hear about how their boyfriend is ‘triflin,” or they’re on it in the fucking grocery store, talking to their bougie, castrated husband about what kind of English muffins he wants.

In the staff meeting for the school paper I work for, people kept talking while the editor was trying to talk. Just carrying on their own goddamn conversations. Hello? Are we in the third grade? Have we not figured out that meetings, while boring and tedious, go a lot faster when everyone focuses and speaks one at a time?

The worst, though, is the library. I can no longer study in the FREAKING LIBRARY.

I thought I could at least count on getting some peace in the library, but apparently not. I’m in favor of bringing back the old-fashioned, elderly, cranky librarian who shushed people all the time, because the tattooed twentysomethings currently employed by my school library aren’t cutting it.

Also, Ossie Davis totally should have won for best guest actor in a drama on the Emmys. Boo.

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