Benghazi, noun: a state of anger that a black Democrat is president and there is nothing one can do about it.
The Article: Arresting Children is Now Commonplace in America by Lucy Steigerwald in Vice.
The Text: A week ago, the Oregonian reported on how, last year, Portlander Layota Harris’s nine-year-old daughter was arrested a week after she got into a fight with another little girl outside a Boys & Girls Club. The kid was sent home and suspended from the club for a week, which seems appropriate—but then a mom called the cops after she saw a bruise on her daughter’s cheek. That led to officers David McCarthy and Matthew Huspek interrogating the Harrises’ daughter, whom they clearly had no business interacting with.
According to McCarthy’s official report, the girl “gave vague answers” and her account of the incident was “inconsistent” with those of witnesses. Anyone who has dealt with a nine-year-old will recognize this stuff as totally normal, but the officers decided it was enough to put the little girl—who was still wearing her swimsuit—in handcuffs and take her downtown for booking on charges of fourth-degree assault. Adding insult to injury, her mother was not permitted to accompany her in the car and had to take a bus to the police station.
Even as the world spent the majority of yesterday speculating on just what precisely could have caused Solange, Beyoncé’s favorite shadow, to pick a fight with Jay-Z, other important events still happened and were indeed reported on by major news outlets. Like, you know, the fact that part of west Antarctica’s ice sheet has begun to collapse and likely cannot be stopped. (Translation: future sea level rises so extreme that they may make “Day After Tomorrow” look like a Bob Ross painting). In light of this, we give you the 15 best cartoons on climate change. Because after all, laughing before impending disaster burns more calories than crying.
The Article: Uruguay President Tells Obama U.S. Needs to Stop Smoking and Learn Spanish by Seke in Time.
The Text: President Barack Obama hosted Uruguayan President José Mujica in the Oval Office Monday to highlight the United States’ “close partnership” with South American country, but Obama may have gotten more than he bargained for.
In brief remarks before their meeting, a tie-less Mujica, a one-time guerrilla fighter, lectured Obama about the dangers of smoking and the need for the United States to become bilingual.
“You will have to become a bilingual country…” he told Obama. “Because the strength of Latin women is admirable and they will fill this country with people who speak Spanish and Portuguese, too.”