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Real Jesus Versus Republican Jesus

Real Jesus Versus Republican Jesus

[tags]real jesus, republican jesus, comic, cartoon, politics, the gays, homosexuality, jesus on the gays, angry republican jesus, jesus on war, jesus on sins, jesus on judgment, on money, the bible does not condone you to be hateful idiotic bigot, the bible, the jesus in the bible, conservative jesus, republican jeebus, jeezus[/tags]

Via Tim Kreider of The Pain Comics

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  • http://zenotelos.com Zeno Telos

    Jeezus, you should check out the new rap on Palin –
    Going Rogue

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  • Anonymous

    since you didn’t label it:

    this is the work of the ingenious but little-known Tim Kreider, whose comic can be found at http://www.thepaincomics.com/

    • http://prosebeforehos.com/alec/ alec

      Thanks for this! Labeled now.

  • http://play-lead-guitar.com Play Lead Guitar

    If jesus comes back, first thing he’s going to do is see a lawyer

    • http://www.daily-love-horoscopes.co.uk Prescient Priscilla

      Thanks for that comment, Play Lead Guitar. Even although I’ve recently converted to Christianity it made me laugh out loud. Excellent – thanks! The cartoon itself is excellent too.

  • Jo Diggs

    Wow, I never really thought about it that way before, makes sense..

    Lou
    http://www.whos-watching.es.tc

  • Jacob

    Matthew 22:21, when read in context was Jesus’ reply to Pharasees when they tried to trap him by asking them if they should have to pay taxes, but Jesus answered by saying you have dual citizenship to your country and as children of God. Close, though.

    http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2022:15-22&version=NLT

    • David

      There are multiple ways to interpret this passage. I see it as a flat out rejection of the Roman Empire, and money and wealth in general. The message is not to pay your taxes and be a good citizen. The message is to give away your money and live without it, because it really belongs to the guy who’s picture is on the coin, not you. There is no money in the “Kingdom of Heaven”.

      You have to understand that most people in Judea especially, and throughout the Roman Empire in general were not citizens at all. Conservative estimates place about a third of the population of the city of Rome in slavery. Your interpretation really only makes sense through the lens of modern Liberalism. (i.e. John Locke, etc.). This passage has been routinely used by governments to justify taxation, but I have a hard time finding a statist perspective in the gospels at all; an interpretation far more in line with the time that the gospels were written.

      • anon

        he could have been saying you belong to your society so you must obey societies rules but you also belong to god’s kingdom so you must also obey his laws. meaning follow societies rules if they are just and do not interfere with god’s rules.

  • http://i.imgur.com/1ZGye.jpg Shanin

    What Jesus said about gay people…

    • Anonymous

      way to freaking close your freaking tiny mind

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  • Actually,

    15 Then the Pharisees went out and laid plans to trap him in his words. 16 They sent their disciples to him along with the Herodians. “Teacher,” they said, “we know you are a man of integrity and that you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. You aren’t swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are. 17 Tell us then, what is your opinion? Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not?”

    18 But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? 19 Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, 20 and he asked them, “Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?”

    21″Caesar’s,” they replied.
    Then he said to them, “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.”

    22 When they heard this, they were amazed. So they left him and went away.

    I think the point of this exchange is to call out the pharisees as hypocrites. According to their tenets, a pharisee was not allowed to even touch a foreign coin (foreign coins were considered unclean) and here this guy has one on his person. So I read the message as “Yes, idiot, pay your taxes, but first you had better go out and do your laborious ritual cleansing before God for the ‘sin’ of touching a foreign coin.” These rituals take time to perform. Jesus is pointing out the stupidity and impossibility of living with the rigid moral laws the pharisees try to foist on people. This makes the comparison of the pharisees with Republicans all the more true.

    • Well…

      You have a good point, as does David. But I think it is equally important to understand the intent of the questioners. The Jewish concept of the Messiah was widely interpreted to involve the return of a temporal King, and a restoration of an earthly Kingdom. Because Jesus was proclaimed to be the Messiah, many believed that he was asserting the arrival of that earthly kingdom and the overthrow of the Roman yoke. If that had been the case, he would have had to deny the duty of paying taxes. And then he would have been guilty of treason, in the eyes of Rome. If he asserted the duty of paying taxes, his questioners believed that he would lose his Jewish following.

      The wonder of his answer lies in the reality that he was not bringing an earthly or temporal kingship, but rather a spiritual kingship. “Give unto Caesar what is Caesar’s” is Jesus’ response to those Jews who expected the arrival of the Messiah to herald the overthrow of the Roman yoke.

  • Jesus Walks

    That Sarah Palin video is HILARIOUS!!!!

    “Sarah’s right wing but she’s not right brained!!”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV2YtDCc-6Y

  • Joe

    Slight correction here: Republicans never used the “God hates Fags” thing. That was Fred Phelps, who is NOT right wing at all, and WBC.

    • C Reese

      Republicans have constantly and consistently opposed gay rights. The bigotry is supported by the pastors that have been personal friends of republican presidents. The Westboro Baptists are the few honest Christians in the public sphere. Fred Phelps preaches what his G-D told him to.

  • Jason

    What a load of crap! It is obvious that the cartoonist knows nothing of Christ and His teachings. People that think their clever by misquoting the words and principles of Christ, but they are really showing their own ignorance and bias. Does the “artist” really believe that if Christ was here today that he would be for abortion or legalizing drugs? Not a chance. In fact he would be highly against the loose living and bed hopping that leads “women” to get abortions. This is just one example of this whole “cartoon”, but time nor space does not even allow to answer the rest.

    • A Loving Atheist :)

      I think there were several points the artist was trying to get across with this comic. He’s not showing ignorance (he correctly quoted scripture whether in or out of context), but rather he’s simply trying to make a point that America has over idealized Jesus and his teachings.

      And speaking of ignorance and bias, I don’t believe once in this comic was the thought ever expressed that Jesus would in fact be FOR “loose living” and “bed hopping”….nope, i just read it again and nowhere did i get that from this. It simply states that the Bible gives no opinion on abortion and, as is only right, you are free to do with your body what you wish but at the end of the day are wholly responsible for whatever trouble this may have caused for yourself or others. I also wonder what sort of Christian would put women who get abortions into quotations as though these women aren’t actually women at all but horrible, without moral, monsters. That is unfair and completely sexist (as many times the man is pushing just as hard for the abortion as well).

      Your own prejudices and unfair judgments aside, the MAIN POINT of this comic in my eyes, however, was to simply point out the fact that Christians in today’s society use “Jesus” and “The Bible” to justify everything. This country was founded so that people were free to practice their own religions and believe what they wanted. Separation of church and state was always a key issue for this country, and no matter how hard you try…you’ll never be able to legislate morals, Jesus or no Jesus. So at the end of the day, this comic is simply speaking out against those people in America who have simply taken what are simply morality stories and turned them into a whole lot of bullshit that makes it impossible for this country to remain completely free and democratic.

      Now, if you’d like to thank Jesus for the many people that are hurt, killed, and ridiculed in “His” name simply because they are gay, think marijuana should be legalized, or don’t believe in God well then by all means do so.

    • http://ebaumsworld Yo Mikey

      HAHAHAH…oh wait…HAHAHAhahaha. So let me get this straight, Jason, you just happen to know EXACTLY what Jesus’ take on today’s problems would be? Oh, wow…this is whats wrong with religion today, people don’t take things for face value and try bend an old religion to today’s issues. Face it, the things we have to deal with on a daily basis couldn’t even have been fathomed at the time the bible was written. Which is why I choose to be agnostic once I learned the bible has been re-written hundreds of thousands of times by hand (by a church that was corrupt at the time, which is fact). Sure theirs a chance today’s bible is close to what God really wanted to get across, but I don’t trust mankind at all. Corrupt is corrupt, doesn’t matter if you hide behind a church or not.

  • Jimmy

    On Money: In Jesus’ time the rich were rich because they exploited the poor… Not like how we cry today about how we exploit the poor either. Generally these guys were pretty bad people. This statement is less about how much money you have and more about who you are.

    • C Reese

      Not how 2% of the people in the world won and control over 80% of the wealth. Not how businesses owned by Americans run almost all manufacturing outside of America so they can avoid paying workers a living wage? Not how sweatshop production has people in 3rd world countries living on less than $3 a day for 12-18 hour days, with only 2 toilet breaks and no food breaks? Try reading ‘The Secret History of the American Empire – John Perkins’ then come back and tell me that corporations today are not generally evil.

  • Kristi

    What a gross and negligent spin on scripture taken out of context. Shame on you.

  • Who Cares

    The blank spot on Abortion is really the unraveling of the whole piece. People have used Jesus’ words to construe all sorts of ideas that Jesus Himself never intended, indeed, that never entered His mind. This is an easy write-off for anyone who really knows Jesus. But hey, it’s a free country. We’ll all find out just what Jesus is one day, I think.

    • Caleb

      Unless of course Jesus doesn’t exist, and there’s not mystical father figure in the sky.

  • Rob Moitoza

    20 THINGS JESUS PROBABLY WOULDN’T SAY 
    AT A HEALTH CARE TOWN HALL MEETING

    1. I’ve got mine! To Hell with all the rest of you peons!

    2. He who yells the loudest shall inherit the earth.

    3. Hate thy enemy as thyself.

    4. You should always serve two masters. Me and Rush Limbaugh.

    5. I believe in an ownership society where the richest 2% own everything. The rest of you can eat cake.

    6. Don’t rise up and walk… lie there and die, you liberal scumbag!

    7. Sure you’re created in God’s image, but for God’s sake put some clothes on!

    8. To Hell with peace. Bring your gun!

    9. Only a rich man can get to the kingdom of heaven. The rest of you paupers can forget it.

    10. Sorry I can’t heal you because of pre-existing conditions.

    11. Let he who is without sin start cheating on his wife and soliciting prostitutes.

    12. Only Southern white guys are welcome in my father’s house.

    13. Yes, I can heal you, but remember there’s a $500 deductible and a $50 co-pay.

    14. The least among you are nothing but scum. For God’s sake pull yourselves up by your bootstraps!

    15. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I shall make out no living will or advance directives.

    16. Strong women are nothing more than femmi-Nazis.

    17. USA! USA! USA!

    18. Show me the money!

    19. Thou shalt waterboard thy enemy!

    20. I’m going to have to work the “Dark side”, if you will.

    21. Take two asprin and call me in the morning!

  • Henry Wyckoff

    As for “separation of church and state,” in Revelations, when Jesus reigns from Jerusalem for 1000 years, the church and state will be one and the same.

    I get the point of the table above, but in some places the brush is a bit too broad.

  • Anonymous

    doesn’t describe the republicans who don’t believe in jesus and value the constitution instead

  • James

    Over-simplified, and missing several great scriptural references, but I’m pickin’ up what you’re laying down…

  • http://Chosenrebel.wordpress.com Marty Schoenleber

    Clever, but as an independent, we need to be fair. The so-called “Republican Jesus” is not recognizable to any but the smallest fringe of Christians that unfortunately get a lot of media attention.

  • jack

    Ha… and if there were only a “democratic Jesus” to draw… You’re a moron.

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  • zoolander

    clearly made by some sort of hippie democrat who loosely reads the bible for its depth and truth.

  • blahblah

    i didn’t know that jesus had a political affiliation…

  • Anonymous

    this is stupid. they take one thing post a verse on it then say some comment not wholly relating, take the sexual immorality thing posted here. yes the verse referes to it but it doesnt refer to homosexuality and “hating fags” but the bible does refer to homosexuality. so if they wanna bash them for saying that they need to take in account where it is they get these thoughts from.

    there are extremests in everything obviously but to use verses then bash republicans like this is just stupid.

    on sexual immorality: Leviticus 18:22
    22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination.
    ABOMINATION

    on alcohol and drugs: Ephesians 5:18
    18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit,

    on war: have they ever read the old testament?!?! its filled with war! God commands war, and not to become allies with other nations and stuff. God even demands the killing of whole groups of people or all the men women and children, even animals and nothing to be taken after it was defeated.

    • Anonymous

      When it comes to alcohol and homosexuality, it’s always the Old Testament or Paul.

      And remember, Paul never even met Jesus, and before he started spreading churches everywhere, his entire purpose in life was to kill Christians. I mean, even some of the disciples got stuff wrong at times, so obviously he didn’t have a perfect interpretation of what went on with Jesus.

    • northierthanthou.com

      Why do people keep quoting Leviticus on homosexuality? Then we have to point out the shellfish and the synthetic fibers, etc. Then some Christian says they don’t have to follow Levitcal laws, etc. And then we’re back to square one, but someone always insists on taking us all down that dead-end. It’s stupid.

      And no, quaint platitudes about extremism don’t handle this topic at all. the Republican Party as a whole manipulates the image of Jesus to suit a right wing agenda, not just the extremists, the GOP as a whole. They damned well deserve the flack they get for that, including this post.

    • redsweater

      I believe “Christianity” is called such because its adherents follow the Christ, aka “Iesous” by the Greeks, which is transliterated into English as “Jesus”. Jesus had nothing to do with Leviticus. Or Ephesians.

      Leviticus is a random collection of the laws which the Jewish community followed BCE. It may have been relevant back then, but can’t be taken seriously by modern standards… unless you think it’s okay to: limit yourself kosher foods; stone adulterous women; sell your kids into slavery; etc.

      Ephesians was written by Paul. But he was lower ranking than Jesus. According to this poster, Jesus evidently wanted to communicate that what ultimately matters is the appropriateness of an individual’s speech and behavior. To apply this to drugs and alcohol, it’s probably okay so long as the substance doesn’t have a net negative effect on the individual’s speech and behavior.

      Paul says “don’t get drunk”. Getting drunk is a situation where people’s speech and behavior are negatively effected by definition. So this doesn’t necessarily contradict Jesus’s stance on alcohol or drugs. Paul also says “but be filled with the Spirit”. I don’t think that’s a strict ban on alcohol, I think he’s saying that being filled with the Holy Spirit (and therefore effecting appropriate speech and behavior) is generally more awesome than getting high or drunk.

      In conclusion, I charge you (and bigots of your ilk) of either cherry picking, confirmation bias, motivated reasoning, poor skill in literary analysis, or some combination of these fallacies. Instead of only whining about homosexuality, maybe you should worry about other subjects in Leviticus which are more common and less morally controversial, like eating unnecessarily large amounts of food (obesity).

  • http://lpkolb@gmail.com Lawrence Kolb

    Texas Jesus is hanging on the cross, near death, and his followers are there lamenting the injustice of his situation. Jesus rebukes them, saying ‘I must be guilty of something, because the government is never wrong on the death penalty’.

  • Devil’s Advocate

    There’s a verse (can’t remember where, I saw it in my consideration of weed in my religious views.) that states that people should remain sober. (drugs / alcohol.) and it says lots of places you shouldn’t become drunk.

    yes, I’m going there: Thou shalt not murder. :p (If abortions were common back then, which idk…) I bet Jesus would’ve denounced it, but that’s my own understanding of God. Read not into only what it explicitly states, but also what you think God would say on the issue if he had to.

    To Caesar … to God …. was about tithing / taxes… not gov’t control. (Though I personally agree with this.)

    Sexual immorality: Lots of places it strongly implies homosexuality is a sin. Shouldn’t be the only one people pay attention to though. :\

    yeah… playin Devil’s advocate. I’ve had both of these views at different point in my life, so I get both sides.

    • Kate

      if the bible was really the word of god, and god is an all knowing, all powerful being, then he would have known that someday there would be something called abortion. If he was against it, he would preemptively denounce it. also, you seem to be talking about various things written in the bible. this graphic appears to only refer to words specifically attributed to jesus.

  • Ben Larson

    I find this totally innacurate this is not a republican view this is a view of some churches so dont try to be dissing on republicans by saying this bull crap that they view him this way

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