They Tried To Teach My Baby Science

Ha! Science. What has science ever given us? I’ll tell you what it’s given us: Nazi’s, Puma footwear and apparel, intrusive anal-based exams, medicine, and other forms of wizardry. Frankly, me and the rest of the unenlightened Judeo-Christian world don’t need it’s hog wash anymore. When I get prostate cancer, I want them to bathe me in holy water so I can let Jesus’ magic remove the embodiment of sin (or as the Practitioners of Atheism, aka Doctors, would have me believe, the uncontrolled division of cells). These sins include but are not limited to looking at my sister’s breasts at age 14 and briefly glancing at a homosexual couple.