They Tried To Teach My Baby Science

by Word Of The Day on March 20, 2007 |   Trackback URI   |     Email This Post Email This Post   |   84 Views  

onionmagazine 1020.article They Tried To Teach My Baby Science

Ha! Science. What has science ever given us? I’ll tell you what it’s given us: Nazi’s, Puma footwear and apparel, intrusive anal-based exams, medicine, and other forms of wizardry. Frankly, me and the rest of the unenlightened Judeo-Christian world don’t need it’s hog wash anymore. When I get prostate cancer, I want them to bathe me in holy water so I can let Jesus’ magic remove the embodiment of sin (or as the Practitioners of Atheism, aka Doctors, would have me believe, the uncontrolled division of cells). These sins include but are not limited to looking at my sister’s breasts at age 14 and briefly glancing at a homosexual couple.


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  • http://prosebeforehos.com anonymous_banker

    Long live the Time Cube!

  • Dave

    Dirty, Dirty Science!
    Science is a SIN and should be eradicated along with homosexuals, democrats, commies and gypsies.

  • http://www.wellplacedpottery.org/alec/ alec

    Dave: Please don’t forget disabled children and minorities. You know they’re just going to vote LIBERAL because they’re all like ‘hey I don’t like being lynched or discriminated against and my retard wheelchair can’t go up stairs or escalators like a person with normal legs’. I mean, come on, grow up.

  • Pingback: Those evil teachers... « globalizati

  • made of fail

    way to be a faggot. this is made by the “onion” a fake news group. good job

  • http://prosebeforehos.com Kit

    The “Onion”, is that like Fox News?

  • http://www.wellplacedpottery.org/alec/ alec

    My faggotism is on full blast. Fill me full of twigs, boys!

  • Klo

    This makes me laugh at the stupidity of some people.

  • Cameron

    I’m sorry; where was christianity and science in conflict? This is pure antichristian propoganda.

  • Sam

    To quote Isaac Asimov,

    “If read in its proper context, the Bible is the most potent form of atheism ever written.”

  • http://www.wellplacedpottery.org/alec/ alec

    Anti-Christian propaganda? No way! I love Jesus and his many well-versed minions.

  • http://www.wellplacedpottery.org/alec/ alec

    By the way, Jesus once gave me a rim job while the bunny rabbit sucked me off. My ebay review of it would be “A++++ excellent shipping”

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