{"id":1257,"date":"2007-06-22T18:53:00","date_gmt":"2007-06-22T23:53:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/fatwa-friday\/06\/22\/fatwa-friday-jihad-on-me\/"},"modified":"2007-06-22T18:53:00","modified_gmt":"2007-06-22T23:53:00","slug":"fatwa-friday-jihad-on-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/fatwa-friday\/06\/22\/fatwa-friday-jihad-on-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Fatwa Friday: Jihad on Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>This is the first installment of Fatwa Friday.  After successes on declaring jihad on numerous subjects &#8212; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/word-of-the-day\/05\/21\/jihad-on-natasha-mitra\/\">Natasha Mitra<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/video-of-the-day\/05\/31\/jihad-on-american-society\/\">American society<\/a> &#8212; we decided to make this a weekly affair. From now on, we will be calling out everyone left and right. Prepare to be jihaded.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>As much I hate to do this, I have to call the first Fatwa Friday jihad on myself.  A couple of nights ago, I was working out at the gym.  There&#8217;s a flat screen television in the middle which members of the gym can watch, and at the particular time it happened to be on TBS during a two-hour block of Everybody Loves Raymond. So I&#8217;m thinking &#8220;great, I have to watch this while I sculpt my body into a Greek God&#8221;, because I&#8217;m not going to step on the toes of the 50 year old pumping 5 pound weights who&#8217;s watching this.  Sadly enough, something truly pathetic happened.<\/p>\n<p><strong>I laughed.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>No, seriously, I laughed at an Everybody Loves Raymond joke.  That&#8217;s not even the worst part: the gag was that he was visiting his brothers apartment that was filled with beautiful girls, and in the midst of reporting his findings to his wife, he said &#8216;breast&#8217; instead of &#8216;best&#8217;. I laughed at that fucking joke.  I may have just turned 24, but I am not to be trusted from now on.  <strong>JIHAD ON ME!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>PS. This is what I looked like at the time:<\/p>\n<p><center><a href=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/data\/008_4A.JPG\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/data\/008_4A2.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This is the first installment of Fatwa Friday. After successes on declaring jihad on numerous subjects &#8212; Natasha Mitra, American society &#8212; we decided to make this a weekly affair. From now on, we will be calling out everyone left and right. Prepare to be jihaded. As much I hate to do this, I have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":113,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Fatwa Friday: Jihad on Me - Prose Before Hos<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This is the first installment of Fatwa Friday. 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