{"id":130141,"date":"2012-03-01T12:30:57","date_gmt":"2012-03-01T17:30:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?p=130141"},"modified":"2012-12-26T20:59:06","modified_gmt":"2012-12-27T01:59:06","slug":"mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/","title":{"rendered":"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012"},"content":{"rendered":"

The chubby Colorado boy gave Mitt Romney a $1 bill. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s for good luck,<\/em> the boy whispered, in that race<\/em>. Mitt Romney flashed the boy an aww-shucks grin and dug into his wallet to repay him. <\/p>\n

But there was one problem: Mitt Romney only saw a hundred and a couple of twenties. He peered around the dusty diner. He hemmed and he hawed. He tried to buy time. An alert aide wanted to slip Romney a crinkled $1 but the former governor refused. He peeked deeper inside his wallet and fished out a $5. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ll give you an Abraham Lincoln back,\u201d he chuckled. A tad too hard, perhaps. A tad too long, certainly. And then Mitt Romney went back to glad-handing the diners over potato taters, joking that he, too, was unemployed. <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Romney<\/p>\n

Robert Gibbs laughed it up with the gang back in Chicago. Mitt Romney was making this too easy. More bulletin-board material for the Obama 2012 War Room. Another pin-up for the Romney wall. Right next to the \u201cI don\u2019t care about the very poor\u201d quip. And the $10,000 bet. And the one about strapping his dog to the roof of the car.<\/p>\n

The boys were bored, trigger-happy and rearing to go for whichever slimed candidate emerged from the Republican mud-fight. The interns had the debate sound-bytes all cued up. The cheat sheets already framed for the Final Four. Each of them flawed in their own way, distilled down to one, bite-sized label. <\/p>\n

\"Romney<\/p>\n

Ron Paul is a \u201cjoke\u201d. He is the avuncular grandfather in the race. Yes, he is a hit with the internet, military and the youth. And he\u2019s the most ideologically pure of them all. But at 76, he\u2019s too old, too rabid, and too honest to have a chance. <\/p>\n

Ron Paul is not so much in-it-to-win-it as he is to be heard\u2014he conceded as much. And with 8-9% of the vote\u2014and the most vocal 8-9% at that\u2014Ron Paul also has the audience. So there he is, in debate after debate, roaring to End The Fed and to bring home all the troops to the loudest standing ovations of them all. <\/p>\n

As a result, Paul sits atop a peculiar perch in the Republican race. He is not a serious candidate but a relevant one. Non-threatening to avoid the others\u2019 punches but still respected enough to land his. To some, Ron Paul is a doddering old man of older ideas. The jokester. But to others, only the court jester can dare utter the truth.<\/p>\n

\"Ron<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Newt Gingrich is \u201cunstable.\u201d He is a big man of big ideas, but he lacks the discipline. He owes a half million dollars at Tiffany\u2019s. He pampered himself with a two-week Grecian cruise last summer. He returned tanned and without a campaign staff. And then his ex-wife\u2014the second one\u2014started talking<\/a>. <\/p>\n

But the Tea Party spotted him a mulligan. Call Gingrich what you will: a \u201cloose-cannon,\u201d \u201cphilanderer,\u201d or \u201chypocrite,\u201d but you have to call him a sonofagun on the debate floor. He could be spacy, sure. He would rant about bases on the moon. But Newt Gingrich alone had the intellectual firepower to go toe-to-toe with President Obama. <\/p>\n

Mitt Romney, however, had the bankroll. And he lost the civility. He leveled Gingrich with $5 million in negative campaign ads in Iowa. And then added $20 million more in Florida. He brought in a new debate coach and knocked Gingrich back on immigration. <\/p>\n

So now Newt Gingrich plays the jilted spoiler. Michigan TV time is too expensive. The debates dried up and Gingrich can only lie in wait \u2018til Super Tuesday. The big man of big ideas is now reduced to an embittered \u201calso-ran.\u201d His only hope that Rick Santorum splits the vote with Romney all the way to a brokered convention in Tampa. <\/p>\n

\"Romney<\/p>\n

Mitt Romney is \u201cweird.\u201d Obliviously wealthy. His first name is Willard. Mitt Romney is the conviction-less son of Michigan who wanted Detroit to go bankrupt. <\/p>\n

Romney can\u2019t do photo-ops. He looks the part, sure. He cracked People\u2019s 50 Most Beautiful People list in 2002. He stands regally atop bails of hay. But then he speaks. And beneath that perfectly-coiffed mane trembles a high-strung control freak who cannot relate. <\/p>\n

George W. Bush seemed like a good guy to have a beer with even though he didn\u2019t drink. And well, Mitt Romney doesn\u2019t drink. But you wouldn\u2019t want to have a beer with him even if he did. Ask him about NASCAR and he\u2019ll tell you he\u2019s pals with the owners. Ask him where he\u2019s from and he\u2019ll tell you about the \u201cright height\u201d of Michigan\u2019s trees. Romney does spreadsheets, not small talk. He tweets painfully-forced laundry day pictures. And the message is clear: Mitt Romney is trying too hard. <\/p>\n

\"Romney<\/p>\n

Mitt Romney smacks of John Kerry all over again. Another effete Massachusetts moderate with squishy positions and wooden social graces. John Kerry kite-surfed off Nantucket. Mitt Romney quadruples the size of his $12 million California house because it is \u201cinadequate for the [family\u2019s] needs.\u201d <\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Mitt Romney overlearned his 2008 defeat. He toned down the Mormonism and played up the private sector chops. Mitt Romney would be America\u2019s CEO-In-Chief, he promised. He brought Staples and Sports Authority to a strip-mall near you. Only he understood the nation\u2019s economic woes and how to turn them around. <\/p>\n

But the stump speeches fell flat in occupied metropolises across the country. They were merely the over rehearsed boasts from an overly scripted rich man. Romney\u2019s credentials were no longer qualifications but liabilities in the age of the 99%. His $250 million net-worth and 13% tax rate were not a testament to the wonders of capitalism, but a cringing reminder of what ailed it. The bounty of a vulture capitalist who feasted off the road-kill of creative destruction.<\/p>\n

\"Romney<\/p>\n

In 2008, Romney was vilified for his faith. The base could never elect a Mormon. Romney had the economic chops and in spades. But they wanted someone more traditional. More established. They wanted John McCain. <\/p>\n

In 2012, Romney is vilified for his wealth. The Romneycare jabs hurt him, but they didn\u2019t stick. His faith is left alone. Sneered at in smoky backrooms, perhaps, but not publicly. The base wants Romney. He is the only \u201celectable\u201d option. He bided his time. Paid his dues. He alone has the economic credentials and private sector acumen to oust President Obama. But the Tea Party could never elect such a multimillionaire. <\/p>\n

Instead, the Tea Party scoops up a new Republican candidate flavor of the month. An anti-Mitt Romney. First Donald Trump, then Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, then Herman Cain, then Newt Gingrich. Each enjoyed their time in the Fox News-powered sun before melting away to reality TV aspirations, false mental retardation claims, debate tongue-twisting\/racist-named geological formations, sexual harassment allegations, and \u201cloose cannon\u201d fears, respectively.<\/p>\n

And now there\u2019s Rick Santorum. Not the Tea Party\u2019s first choice. Or third. Or fifth. But it is getting late, a week away from Super Tuesday, and he is still there. Rick Santorum is not a suave debater. Nor is he a prolific fundraiser. But he is a sweater-vested, God-fearing man from a battleground state. He is Newt Gingrich without all the baggage. More importantly, he is not Mitt Romney. <\/p>\n

And so long as nightly news broadcasts lead with birth control instead of jobless claims, the Santorum Surge will continue. As the unemployment rate ebbs and the Dow dances around 13,000, The Right\u2019s Cultural Warrior will gain ground on the CEO-In-Chief. <\/p>\n

Rick Santorum may not be the Tea Party\u2019s Mr. Right, but he\u2019s Mr. Right Now. And the more the Tea Party looked, the more they found they could like. Rick Santorum doesn\u2019t believe in the \u201cabsolute\u201d separation of church state. He disdains man-made global warming as \u201cjunk science.\u201d He shares their disdain for intellectualism. He blasted President Obama as a \u201csnob\u201d for encouraging all Americans to go to college. Rick Santorum, in short, was someone Tea Partiers could bring home to the parents.<\/p>\n

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * <\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n

The election should have been a gimme: 8% unemployment, Obamneycare, A stimulus that didn\u2019t really stimulate. The blood was in the water, but the Republicans devoured themselves. <\/p>\n

Jeb Bush can\u2019t watch anymore. John McCain wishes the debates would just stop. Party elders listen for Mitch Daniels or Chris Christie to gallop in in the eleventh hour. But all they hear is Newt Gingrich ramble on about moon colonies. Mitt Romney\u2019s riff on his wife\u2019s two Cadillacs. And they don\u2019t clap their hands but their foreheads: Is this really the best we have?<\/p>\n

\"Obama<\/p>\n

The 2008 Democratic debates vetted President Obama. They shortened the professor\u2019s lectures, outed the Reverend Wrights from his closet. By the time Hillary Clinton was done with him, Obama was a battle-tested warrior ready to deflect whatever barbs Republicans heaved his way.<\/p>\n

But the 2012 Republican debates haven\u2019t hardened the candidates; they have just fossilized them. They\u2019ve turned the party back to a Jurassic age of American isolationism and anti-intellectualism. To an era where international experience and belief in man-made global warming are blasphemy (See: Huntsman, Jon<\/a>). Where knowing a foreign language is not a sign of sophistication but fatalistic elitism (See: Romney, Mitt). <\/p>\n

And so the Republican soul-search continues, tugged between the passion of the Tea Party and the order of the base. Still lost in the wilderness of White Appalachia. The party of Ronald Reagan of yester-year that would not elect Ronald Reagan today. The party still paled from President George W. Bush\u2019s shadow. And now a party, as much as they may resist, that is resigned to Mitt Romney: a man of the private sector with no public skill. A man who will bring not Change but $5 dollar bills to a diner near you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The chubby Colorado boy gave Mitt Romney a $1 bill. It\u2019s for good luck, the boy whispered, in that race. Mitt Romney flashed the boy an aww-shucks grin and dug into his wallet to repay him. But there was one problem: Mitt Romney only saw a hundred and a couple of twenties. He peered around […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":130150,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[259],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nMitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/\" \/>\n<link rel=\"next\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Prose Before Hos\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-03-01T17:30:57+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2012-12-27T01:59:06+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/mitt-feature.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"420\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Government Employee\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@pbhnetwork\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Government Employee\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"8 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/\",\"name\":\"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2012-03-01T17:30:57+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2012-12-27T01:59:06+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb\"},\"description\":\"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/\",\"name\":\"Prose Before Hos\",\"description\":\"The Far Side Of Politics\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb\",\"name\":\"Government Employee\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/pbhnetwork\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/author\/government_employee\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012","description":"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/","next":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/2\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012","og_description":"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.","og_url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/","og_site_name":"Prose Before Hos","article_published_time":"2012-03-01T17:30:57+00:00","article_modified_time":"2012-12-27T01:59:06+00:00","og_image":[{"width":"560","height":"420","url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/mitt-feature.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Government Employee","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@pbhnetwork","twitter_site":"@pbhnetwork","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Government Employee","Est. reading time":"8 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/","url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/","name":"Mitt, Ron, Rick, And Newt: The Pockmarked GOP Class Of 2012","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2012-03-01T17:30:57+00:00","dateModified":"2012-12-27T01:59:06+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb"},"description":"Why the 2012 GOP primaries and a underwhelming Presidential class have brought out the worst of the Republican party.","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/government_employee\/03\/01\/mitt-ron-rick-and-newt-the-pockmarked-gop-class-of-2012\/"]}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/","name":"Prose Before Hos","description":"The Far Side Of Politics","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/#\/schema\/person\/b2181ca3be4c9d539a19132eac0247bb","name":"Government Employee","sameAs":["https:\/\/twitter.com\/pbhnetwork"],"url":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/author\/government_employee\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130141"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130141"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130141\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":136154,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130141\/revisions\/136154"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/130150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130141"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130141"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130141"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}