{"id":2406,"date":"2008-10-06T18:06:58","date_gmt":"2008-10-06T23:06:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/?p=2406"},"modified":"2012-12-26T20:56:09","modified_gmt":"2012-12-27T01:56:09","slug":"the-onion-writes-an-article-about-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/alec\/10\/06\/the-onion-writes-an-article-about-me\/","title":{"rendered":"The Onion Writes An Article About Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/content\/news_briefs\/man_with_food_in_beard\">Man With Food In Beard Saying Something About Climate Change<\/a><\/p>\n<p>A man with a piece of food stuck in his beard is currently addressing an auditorium full of world leaders and prominent scholars on what seems to be the subject of global warming, sources are reporting. <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/alecbeard.jpg\" align=\"right\" hspace=\"20\" vspace=\"15\" title=\"Sweetest Beard Ever\" width=\"477\" height=\"351\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2407\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/alecbeard.jpg 477w, https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/10\/alecbeard-400x294.jpg 400w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 477px) 100vw, 477px\" \/> The food particle has been dangling from the man&#8217;s facial hair for more than an hour while he has mentioned such phrases as &#8220;sulfides,&#8221; &#8220;ice caps,&#8221; &#8220;immediately, otherwise we all may,&#8221; &#8220;underwater tomb,&#8221; and &#8220;of human life as we know it.&#8221; It was briefly dislodged during a particularly animated portion of the presentation in which complete global apocalypse was remarked upon, only to fall one inch and reattach to a lower portion of beard. The exact nature of the crumb has yet to be ascertained. Some are speculating that it is aioli. Others, however, believe it to be a bit of chewed-up turkey.<\/p>\n<p>[tags]the onion, sweet beard, climate change, hippies, hipsters[\/tags]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Man With Food In Beard Saying Something About Climate Change A man with a piece of food stuck in his beard is currently addressing an auditorium full of world leaders and prominent scholars on what seems to be the subject of global warming, sources are reporting. The food particle has been dangling from the man&#8217;s [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[259],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>The Onion Writes An Article About Me - Prose Before Hos<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Man With Food In Beard Saying Something About Climate Change A man with a piece of food stuck in his beard is currently addressing an auditorium full of\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.prosebeforehos.com\/alec\/10\/06\/the-onion-writes-an-article-about-me\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Onion Writes An Article About Me - 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