actions speak louder than words. that’s the old saying. but when i find you in my own god damn bed knee-deep with my cousin, playing hide the salami, it does NOT make for a successful relationship. and this the day after you gave me a promise ring?

oh, and by the way, i STILL have your spongebob squarepants DVD’s. my cousin may be single and desparate, but she is still 39 and won’t get your impish, childish humor. i hope you rot.

ps. can i have my rachael ray cookbook back?

truncate – v. 1. To shorten by or as if by cutting off. See Synonyms at shorten.
2. To shorten (a number) by dropping one or more digits after the decimal point.

My coworker who’s kinda creepy was talking about how when he was younger he had a gerbil. One day this gerbil bit him and he said he chased it around with a baseball bat and took care of it.

Then he proceeded to laugh nervously as me and this black lady looked at each other with the “what the fuck” look. To make the situation a little better he then said that one of the gerbils had babies and he had no idea they had so many babies so he asked his mom what to do and she told him to flush them down the toilet. And that is when he learned the true meaning of Christmas.

Curious George and the Terrible Secret of Life – an exploration of nihilism in which Curious George discovers the meaninglessness of life, loses his curiosity and jumps in front of a train. Translated from the original German.

Bicurious George and the Man in the Yellow Dress

vociferous – adj. Making a loud outcry; clamorous; noisy.