February 2012

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The pope has an endorsement to make.

From now on I am a full and total supporter of Stephen Colbert running for the democratic and republican nomination for President of the United States in South Carolina. Mr. Colbert has a platform that all Americans can get behind.

1. He is the favored son of South Carolina

2. He is against the “Homosexual Agenda”

3. He is against Chinese shrimp imports and their effect on the South Carolina shrimp industry

4. He is for a corporate sponsor, preferably a salty snack food

5. He is running to get one delegate cast in his name

You can see the announcement here. I will be following Mr. Colbert’s run for office, and he has earned my full support and endorsement.

THE POPE HAS A FAVORED SON AS WELL!

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I have been in Managua now for the past four days. Today may be the day where I have the chance to leave and go to the department capital of Chinandega.

I had come to Managua to give a charla with my counterpart and we traveled through torrents of rain and witnessed flooding on both sides of the highway. Farmland looked like swamps and the microbus had to slow down and wade through flooded sections of road. Upon our arrival I was informed that the department of Chinandega was in a state of emergency and all of the volunteers were being “consolidated” to the department capital of Chinandega City… unless they were in Managua whereupon they would stay there for the duration of the consolidation period.

So now here I am… still in managua with the few clothes that I had packed for a supposedly short trip turned terribly long. I believe that we will be able to get back to the department capital soon and stay there but the Northern Alliance Cats wont be able to get back to our sites until they reopen the highway which is officially closed as is the border crossing.

Here is the link for those who can make do with spanish. Im talking about you Mrs. Hook’s class.
Read on.
Flooding in Chinandega

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Bansky

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October 15th is Blog Action Day, where bloggers around the globe are attempting to unite and raise awareness of Global Warming this one day.

How effective will this be? Not sure, that’s a ton of computers that will all be greedily sucking electricity on one day.

Here are some things that PBH thinks you need to do to help reduce your greenhouse emissions:

1. Suicide. If you’re dead you’re not using any resources.

2. Slavery. If you’ve got a servant running around everywhere for you you’re not driving that gas guzzling SUV. And if you can afford a Hummer you can afford a slave, don’t tell us otherwise.

3. Blow up a power plant. Take the fight to them. We don’t need their dirty, blood covered electricity. Blow those coal, nuclear, and natural gas plants up. Tell the power companies we mean business. Remember; terrorism does work.

4. Go homeless. If you don’t have a house you can’t be using that much electricity.

5. Steal more. Thievery doesn’t place a record on product sales therefore you get what you want and manufacturers never see the need to increase product output.

6. Slap an asshole. See someone being wasteful, opulent, or just a downright dirty republican polluter? Beat the shit out of them. Remember, polluters aren’t like you and me, they only understand pain and fear.

7. Stop reading newspapers. Sure it’s news, but you killed a carbon sequestering tree to get it. Best to live in ignorance.

8. Eat more meat. The more cows we kill, the sooner we get rid of them and their ozone killing farts.

9. Drink beer, not soda. Beer is natural, it’s water and grains. Show beverage producers you’re through with heavily processed pollution filled liquid drugs that rot your mind and stomach. Drop the caffeine and soda-pop. Drink the beer.

10. Stop caring. Remember, the more you care, the more you do. The more you do, the more pollution you create. You need to believe in America first, and that belief is that smarter and more capable people will take care of the problem for you. Only you can make it worse, so stay out of the way.

Happy Blog Action Day and take our environmental advice to heart!

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