Who snuck this into the Free Market Rich People Deserve Everything Mouthpiece?

Direct payments to the poor still have the biggest bang for the buck, since they go straight into the economic bloodstream, Mr. Zandi says. One dollar of increased food-stamp assistance produces $1.73 in higher economic growth, and the effect would be felt in three to six months. Using that same dollar as a lump-sum tax rebate for income-tax payers would yield all of one penny in additional growth, by Mr. Zandi’s calculations.

Sacre BLEU! Poor people… make.. economic sense… head… combusting… must… turn proletariat into… non-renewable sources of energy…

We’re back.

Google trends is an awesome tool. You can find out how much certain keywords are searched for over time.

The part of me that loves poop jokes decided to search naughty terms and analyze what regions are interested in various fetishes.

Czech Republic is far and away the worlds leader in deviant search results. They’re number one for bbw, anal fisting, fisting, bdsm, bondage, interracial porn, dildo, orgy.

What the fuck is goin on in the Czech Republic right?

I decided to look at trends for shock value sex sites memes like Meat Spin, hai2u, cakefarts, tubgirl, lemon party.

Who would have thought that an innocent cab ride could have turned into a dirty discussion on robopussy, as well as Jeff getting owned by the cab driver?

“I’m really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds.” – Sean Avery, Vogue Intern and NHL left winger

Edit: New Line Cinema commissioned a screenplay based on Sean Avery? WTF?

Nothing like sweet, stick molasses on a hot summer day. Speaking of floods, check out sweet photos of Venice under water. I especially like the people pastry shopping in galoshes.

So our soon to be ex-commander-in-chief is apparently drinking heavily, according to Wayne Madsen of the Wayne Madsen Report. I don’t know if it’s true, but I know I have been, pushed in part by these bullshit gas prices. I mean check out NY. Bullshit.

You know what really gets my goat? Peace and non-violence! More heinous beatings for all, I say. That was my slogan when I ran for political office. And I would have become Vicar of Candyland, if it hadn’t been for those attack ads the Gingerbread Man ran against me. So what if I find my constituents delicious? That candy cane told me he was 18!

Obama can put his hands on my economic approach any time he wants. I’m getting hard just thinking about it. What? I can’t believe it’s not butter, it’s crack-cocaine!

How deep is your love for me, Pakistan? How deep will you involve yourself inside my heart before I burst? I can’t stand it anymore I think I’ll just scream, haha hahaha. Some how it only comes out in teary, smiley laughs. Do you even believe in this anymore?

Piracy is up, does that mean global warming is finally receding? Yarr, shiver me timbers! It’s fucking cold! I hope this means the end is near. I’ve been waiting patiently for so long, not as long as my parents though. God, get it over with! Don’t you know that

What could be better than pictures of kids crying thanks to Santa Claus?

Gawker does it again! They made me laugh, this time by asking questions of the Real World kids that are ridiculously inappropriate. For example:

4. To the cast: Have you read Joseph O’Neill’s new novel Netherland yet? If so, do you agree with New Yorker critic James Wood’s assessment that it is “perhaps one of the most important post-colonial novels of our time”

Beeteedubs, I saw the Real World cast on Halloween. One of them was dressed like Heath Ledger, with a clearly pro makeup job. It was really well done. That’s the closest I’ve ever been to celebrity, except the time I was eating a Cinnabon outside the Ronald Regan Building when Hillary came out. Yes, to think the then first lady saw me with sticky, goopy hands. An adolescent fantasy come true, I can tell you that much.

Apparently humans have been polluting the shit out of the ocean, and not just with Garbage Patches. (BTW there is a Garbage Pail Kids CCG). Apparently humans have been making too much damn noise, and the creatures of the sea are sick of it. Don’t those damn kids know that whales need to get up early to eat plankton?

Unless people want to kill Free Willy they should turn off their loud hippity-hoppin and metal music, and put on some smooth jazz. Sea animals are really into Kenny G. I know I am at least, and I have enough crabs to be at least an honorary member of the ocean. Turn it down people!

That Stephen King likes both Girl Talk and Buckcherry. What do you Internauts like to listen to?

Here’s my top ten albums of 2008 in no particular order:
Vampire Weekend
The Dodos
Rhianna
The Cure

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/11/29/AR2008112902045.html?hpid=topnews&sub=AR

How’s a squirrel to eat if there aren’t any motherfucking acorns? Watch out for killer squirrels is all I’m trying to say. First bees, and now acorns. Mother Nature is fucking weird.