The New York Times Chronicles The Life And Times Of Rich White People

Oh no! A white person was denied access to their local organic food co-op!!!! Praise be Allah, the New York Times was there to document the bourgeois tragedies that the ‘mainstream media’ refuse to acknowledge:

“You’re suspended,” the entrance worker at the Park Slope Food Coop announced as I swiped my membership card. Some entrance workers speak softly, but not this one. Worse, there were a dozen other shoppers within earshot.

Flushed, defeated and taken aback — I knew I owed the co-op some work, but I didn’t know I had been blacklisted — I slunk around the corner for a takeout burrito…

The Flatbush Food Coop in Brooklyn, where guests are allowed to shop without joining and members who don’t want to serve work hours can pay a slight markup for items — Park Slope has one of the stiffest work requirements: 2.75 hours every four weeks for each adult member of a household.

It also has some of the best bargains. The organic spinach that costs $2.97 at the co-op fetches $3.99 at the Whole Foods in Union Square; 17 ounces of Bionaturae Organic Extra Virgin Olive Oil costs co-op members $7.80 and Whole Foods shoppers $13.99.

Can you imagine that? Being denied at your fucking local organic totally locally organic Park Slope organic co-op? Imagine the shame and ridicule — that guy must feel like the Pol Pot of the Brooklyn nouveau-aristocracy! Plus, cheerleading 8 years of neoconservatism just gets so tiresome.. you know, with all the manufacturing of evidence and statistics and so forth.

Anyway, long story short, everytime a quotidian tragedy of being rich and White in America is reported by the New York Times, an Iraqi child loses a limb.

See Also: This is One Reason Red America Hates “Coastal Elites,” and They’re Right, NYT: Food Co-op Exile’s Story Demands 2,000 Words, “flunking out” at the co-op, The New York Times’ on The Ultimate Brooklyn Cliches, and This Weekend in ‘New York Times’ Food News.

[tags]i hate the new york times, the new york times provides us with the names of people who need to be guillotined, bourgeois, iraq war, hey who cares about the world white people have problems, ny times, coops, brooklyn, aristocracy, the new york times is for uncritical bourgeois toolbags, rich people news[/tags]

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  1. steve says:

    oh the troubles of being rich and white

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