My Application for Online Dating (will you be my valentine?)

My self-summary

I am lurking in the shadows of the Internet, silently stalking you as you glide motionless from page to page. Every binary footprint you leave behind I place gently and securely into my electronic scrapbook, kept safely next to my facebook in a keepsake chest next to the love poems I wrote you but never sent. I stare for hours into photos of your eyes wondering if you ever think about me, thinking about you. I’m sorry I could never love you like a real man. All I can do is dream tenderly these night time dreams of happiness with you, my once and future cyberlove.

What I’m doing with my life

Throwing it away into the meaningless abyss of tomorrow. Waited for you, but you never came. Heart stopped a long time ago, but my watch keeps ticking away the minutes and hours left in this loneliness. Night time came quicker today, the snows must be coming.

I’m really good at

* Smoke and mirrors, strategically placed at the foot of my bed to catch my best angles.

* Wasting time flipping bits, bytes, and words into meaning and motion

* Sophistry, and all the glory that comes with it

* Autoeroticism

* Backdoor beauty ?

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me

I don’t believe in Santa Claus or the toothfairy, so why should they believe in me? You see what you want to see behind your big bright rainbow eyes. I’m smiling at you, but you never notice, never take the time to look beyond your bright beautiful world full of bright beautiful people. I’m stuck here in the archipelago of my mind, swimming island to island never knowing why, but still never able to stay in one place or thought. No roots have I slithering down into the ground, nor am I lost – I only don’t know where I’m going.


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  1. alec says:

    Don’t forget the part where you find all of your subjects baby/childhood photographs and meticulously photoshop yourself into them to be posted onto Facebook and MySpace. That sends a clear message to the female in question that you mean business… creepy business.

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