Hey, what about yellow fever? Heard that’s hot on this campus

Princeton University is racist against me, I mean, non-whites:

Hi Princeton! Remember me? I so good at math and science. Perfect 2400 SAT score. Ring bells?

Just in cases, let me refresh your memories. I the super smart Asian. Princeton the super dumb college, not accept me. I get angry and file a federal civil rights complaint against Princeton for rejecting my application for admission. They rejected me because I’m not blond or blue eyed and my name doesn’t end with Ockefeller IV or Osworth. I try convince my mom and dad to change my name to Jack Bauer (they could keep their own last names if they wanted to), but they told me Jack only graduated from Berkeley. Not my faults. All I get is huffiness from Princeton admission office and even fellow Yalie Jojo M. T. Witts-Piley. The Daily Princetonian no help either. Only make funs of my unfortunate circumstances.