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100 Days of Fair and Balanced

Some highlights:

    • “Socialism has failed”
    • “Our country is less safe today”
    • “Do you want socialism or not?”
    • “Liberal Utopian visions”
    • “March to socialism”
    • “The end of capitalism as we know it”
    • “Obama was elected by black racists and white guilty people”
    • “We’re starting to look at fascism”
    • “Closer to communism”
    • “The new socialist regime”
    • “There is real dishonesty in this man [Obama]“
    • “A walk down the road to socialism”
    • “Liberal vision of a nanny state”
    • “The President has declared a war on prosperity”
    • “I think he wants a catastrophe”
    • “We are heading towards a one world government”
    • “This is Joseph Stalin without the bloodshed”
    • “Obama Attacks America”

See Also: The Party Of Rove And Cheney, Hundred Days Of Bush, FOX News: 100 Days of Unfair and Unbalanced, FOX News Marks 100 Days of Non-Stop Dumping on Obama, 100 Days of Obama, 100 Examples of Obama’s Stupidity: Joe Scarborough, Glenn Beck and Others List Obama’s Biggest Mistakes, Fox’s “Lie to Me” Beats Networks’ “Lie to America”, New GOP Ad: “Do You Feel Safer?”, Obama To Fox News: Grow Up, Ugh…None of These Media Types “Get It”, and Cartoonish Stereotyping: What If Fox News Had Pulled This Stunt?

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Mule Sex, Secession, Watermelon Fucking… All In A Days Work

Horse Fucker

What.The.Fuck. I think the seccesionist movement has found their captain, a Mr. Neal Horsley from Georgia, who among other unique life experiences, has spent his life making love to various animals and inanimate objects

No, seriously — Georgia candidate for governor says sex with mules, watermelon behind him:

NH: “Absolutely. I was a fool. When you grow up on a farm in Georgia, your first girlfriend is a mule.”

AC: “I’m not so sure that that is so.”

NH: “You didn’t grow up on a farm in Georgia, did you?”

AC: “Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?”

NH: It has historically been the case. You people are so far removed from the reality… Welcome to domestic life on the farm…”

With the coup de grace:

“You experiment with anything that moves when you are growing up sexually. You’re naive. You know better than that… If it’s warm and it’s damp and it vibrates you might in fact have sex with it.”

Strike that, this just gets worse and more disturbing:

“We’re talking about the mule now?”

Yes, he says. The mule.

“A small mule?” I ask.

“No, a full grown mule,” he says. “She loved me, though.”

We both laugh, but I’m still trying to figure out the logistics. How big is this thing? The size of a horse, he says.

“All I had to do was give her an ear of corn.” He laughs again. “She was a [prostitute] mule.”

“How did you reach?”

“I don’t know… I stood on something. The kicker is, as soon as I was done she pissed all over me. It was embarrassing. I never told anyone that before.”

……………………………….

Not only that, but Horsley has had sex with men. He was in the Air Force, it was a cold night, yadda, yadda, yadda, he had sex with him, ahem, the way he did the mule. “It was gross,” he says.

Really? He hadn’t described the mule that way.

“I’ve [screwed] a watermelon,” he says. And that’s just for starters. He’s had sex with just about everything it’s physically possible to have sex with, and some that isn’t. “How many times have I masturbated in my life?” he asks. Now he’s 65 and orgasm-free for two years (his wife finally divorced him — too much “drama”, she said). “The bottom line is, I never treated it as if it were not a sin.”

Good thing that Mule didn’t get pregnant.

See Also: Humping Horses, Killing Kids-the Righteous Ways of Neal Horsley, Georgia Gubernatorial Candidate Runs On Anti-Abortion Platform, But Mule Gets In The Way, and Pillars of Faith: Neal Horsley, Horse’s Ass in More Ways Than One.

[tags]mule sex, donkey sex, georgia secessionist party, watermelon sex, what the fuck, Neal Horsley, Georgia Creator’s Rights Party, growing up on a farm, bestiality, gay, homosexual, fucking weird, fucking weird things, where the fuck does this guy from and why does he have sex with everything[/tags]

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The American Public Opposes Israeli Settlements

While the American Congress pumps out resolutions declaring that Israel can do whatever it wants to whoever it wants and generally tripping over itself to suck money out of AIPAC’s teats, the American public has steadily moved to a more sensible postion on the Israel-Palestine situation:

A new WorldPublicOpinion.org poll finds that three-quarters of Americans think that Israel should not build settlements in the Palestinian territories. This is up 23 points from when this question was last asked in 2002.

“Americans are showing increasing impatience with Israel for building settlements,” comments Steven Kull, director of WorldPublicOpinion.org. “Even the third of Americans who sympathize with Israel more than the Palestinians oppose the settlements.”

See Also: Israel at 61: Denial of Catastrophe is at the root of the ‘conflict’, The Real Tragedy in Israel, Modern Portraits Of Evil, Palestine: Most Americans opposed to settlements in the Palestinian territories, 12 Palestinians injured after settler rampage in Urif village, Israel defies global demand over “settlements”, The Right to Exist, and Israel warns EU to tone down its criticism.

[tags]israeli settlements, public polling, israel palestine, west bank, gaza, settlements in the west bank, settlements in palestine, american opinions, poll on american position, american positions on the middle east, palestinian territories[/tags]

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I hope swine flu kills you all

There’s a retarded picture going around of a little kid licking the nose of a pig with the caption, “You little bastard, you’ve killed us all.”

First off, fuck this picture.

I’m tired of cats, gerbils, hedgehogs, and hamsters with dumbass captions sabotaging my Reddit front page.

Second, it’s supposed to be funny because none of us really expect the human race to perish from swine flu, so this ugly ass tow headed kid licking the nose of a pig is meant to remind us that life is cute and adorable and pigs are wonderful animals despite the panic.

I am not laughing.

It is my sincere wish that seven out of ten people who read this post experience the excruciating business end of H1N1.

Yes. You, and you, and you.

We need to grab our collective sac and face the facts:

Earth has grown obese with humans. It has a homo sapien spare tire riding its gut, and if there isn’t a rapid depopulation within the next five years — leaving the human species so decimated  that we can’t over fish, pump shit into the air, and dump waste into our rivers at the same self-destructive pace — the world won’t be habitable soon anyway.

Fact.

Please stop the hand wringing, the moaning, the bitching, the useless worry over self-preservation (god is not looking out for you because he does not exist, so you can stop praying too), and start calling whatever pandemic inevitably wipes out a good two-thirds of the world population what it is.

Nature’s version of gastric bypass surgery.

Knock off a subcontinent or two, the entire East Coast of the United States, all the Speedo wearing men in Europe and a whole bunch of chopstick users in Central Asia.

Who fucking cares? Humanity is like a weed. Give us a little water and we spring right back.

I’m not crying if a whole handful of helicopter parents and their pansy ass, allergy prone progeny perish.

Here’s a radical suggestion: Don’t wash your hands. Don’t cover your mouth when you cough. When you feel swine flu symptoms setting in, use drinking fountains and hang out in shopping malls.

Find a way to serve food at the local elementary school cafeteria and sneeze on the mac and cheese.

Invite your friends and neighbors over when you start feeling sick, and spike their food with the flu by dipping your cock in their soup.

Be at peace with this situation. In the long run, depopulation on a massive scale is good for us as a species. Yes, it is. To argue otherwise is to be a deluded douche nozzle who isn’t paying attention to science.

So go forth. Catch swine flu. Vomit blood into your toilet.

Then do us all a favor. Die.

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