Browsing PBH By Articles

Bad Bromance: The 2011 NBA Year In Review, Part 1

It should have been the dumbest tattoo ever inked. Or at least since Mike Tyson went tribal on his left eye. Seasoned shooting guard Jason Terry got carried away during a Mavericks team powwow at DeShawn Stevenson’s pad last October. The whole team was there, Stevenson’s personal tattoo artist as well.

Terry wanted to pump up the boys. But the usual Us Vs. The World rah-rah wasn’t cutting it this time. Not with Kobe, Phil and the Lakers gunning for another three-peat. Not with the Thunder a year older. And not with the Big Two & A Half already shopping ring insets down in South Beach.

So Jason Terry had the Larry O’Brien trophy emblazoned to his right bicep. Right then and there. He would have the tattoo removed if the Mavericks fell short. He would have to, the league smirked. Because this was the Dallas Mavericks. The Buffalo Bills of the NBA. The proverbial one-and-done team that always followed the same script: Dirk put up his 24 points a night, they’d win 50-something games, lock up a four or five seed in the West, and bow out early to some young upstart like the Blazers or the Grizzlies.

Continue Reading

Imaginary Problems Call for Painful Solutions

[Editor’s Note: We’d like to give a warm, wet, PBH welcome to our newest contributor, Chet Hardrock. Chet is an unemployed feline tax-consultant who enjoys vintage daytime television and spouting drunken conspiracy-theories involving the CIA, the John Birch Society, Martha Stewart, and an undead Wayne Newton. He will be joining PBH as a statistical analyst/political pundit/sports hobo.]

Democrats and Republicans have struck on a rare point of consensus; despite a 9% unemployment rate and anemic GDP growth, the potential threat of higher interest rates on US government bonds makes additional stimulus impossible. A survey of leading economic policymakers reveals some of the other hypothetical situations that prevent them from supporting more recovery measures.

Guns And Butter In The NATO Alliance

The Article: Libya, Europe and the future of NATO: Always waiting for the US cavalry by the Economist.

The Text: It looked, for a moment, like a return to the days of European interventionism. For the first time since Suez, Britain and France led an intervention in the Middle East. And unlike the disaster in Egypt in 1956, the action in Libya of 2011 was supported by America and by part of the Arab world too.

America was visibly reluctant to get involved, let alone lead the action. And, having helped to knock out Libya’s air defences and conduct some of the initial air-to-ground strikes, it pulled back from the front-line operations. But America’s role remains essential, not least in providing air-to-air refuelling, as well as intelligence and reconnaissance for the European allies.

Continue Reading

Celebrate The Mavs Championship, Not The Heats Loss

The bittersweet irony of Jason Kidd coming back to the Dallas Mavericks after all these years and winning a championship is probably lost on many NBA fans. Shawn Marion, for a brief time, was arguably one of the best all-around players in the game who likely was traded away hastily from a desperate Phoenix Suns team. Jason Terry has been one of the most durable, underrated and consistent players in the NBA over the last dozen years. And after scoring over 22,000 points and leading the Mavs to 11 straight playoff appearances, Dirk Nowitzki finally earned a long-awaited championship and much-deserved Finals MVP.

Unfortunately for these four veterans — some of the best players of their generation — they couldn’t have won a title during a more cynical and sadistic time in sports media coverage and sports fandom.

The 2010-11 NBA Finals will not be remembered for what the Mavericks accomplished; it will go down as the year LeBron James proved he isn’t the greatest of all-time. Oh and he isn’t a closer; he isn’t a champion; he isn’t Michael Jordan; he isn’t the next Michael Jordan; he isn’t tough; he doesn’t show up in the fourth quarter; he’s Scottie Pippen; he’s not-even-Scottie-Pippen; he defers; he isn’t a leader; he doesn’t make his teammates better and the list goes on. Enough already.
Look, everybody knows that an integral part of being a sports fan is hating on your opponent. It’s all in good fun, usually.

Continue Reading

Why People Like U2 Concerts

Stunningly accurate:

Big Market

Imagine you’re a middle-aged, upper-middle class male.You live in a large metropolitan area. You have a good job. Your wife does Pilates. Your oldest just started Kindergarten. Yes, you’re an adult but you’re still cool! Your jeans cost $125. Sometimes you wear sneakers with a blazer!

You like the idea of being a guy who’s “into live music” but the last few concerts you’ve been to were a) too loud b) too crowded c) too foreign (you’re lucky if you recognize one song). Yes, you’ll snap a few photos with your smartphone and tell your bros about it to get some street cred but let’s face it – you didn’t enjoy yourself. There are millions of you. And you’re willing to drop cash to have a concert make you feel cool again.

Product Market Fit

Then you learn that U2 is coming to town – U2! Earnest, melodic, Oprah-endorsed U2! $200 a ticket? No problem. You get a sitter. Your wife is excited – this is going to be great! You invite some friends from college to join you.

On the way, you listen to the “early stuff”. Joshua Tree pumps through the speakers of your Lexus SUV (no judgement – you have two kids!). The harmonies soothe. The lyrics are straightforward. You recall a simpler time before car seats and prostate exams. The nostalgia is so thick you have to wipe it from your face. You haven’t looked at your phone in nearly 11 minutes.

You arrive at the show and see yourself everywhere. Tasteful North Face and Patagonia jackets abound. The stands are awash in earth tones. No one is shoving. No one has a nose ring. These are your people.

Usability

The band begins with A SONG YOU RECOGNIZE! You’re on your feet. You’re drinking “craft” beer. Everyone is singing terribly.

And here’s the best the part – YOU CAN DANCE HERE! 80,000 people surround you and there’s not a coordinated movement in sight. Even the band sets a low bar. Bono doesn’t so much dance as lunge and bounce. The other guys seem content to nod and rock. All around you, middle-aged people are rocking and lunging and bouncing and singing badly. Is that guy wearing Tod’s loafers and a Barbour jacket? Yes he is. And he’s in the zone.

The set is basically a greatest hits playlist. The band graciously performs two new songs that no one recognizes to give you a few minutes to use the john and grab another IPA. They might as well flash an intermission sign.

Even the political statements go down smooth: “Democracy!” “Fight AIDS!” How could you possibly disagree? You’re not only dancing and reminiscing – you’re spreading freedom and reasonably-priced medicines to distant lands!

And the kicker: not one but TWO encores, the ones you know best – the ones you first heard that summer you painted houses or kissed Katie at the beach party or whatever. You’re closing your eyes now. This is sad and sweet. You put your arm around your wife. You’re wondering if Katie ever got married. A third of the crowd departs after the first encore. It’s no big deal – some of us have work in the morning! Anyway, the traffic will be better if everyone doesn’t leave at once.