Temporary Marriage and Sex and Society in the Muslim World

Written by Ask A Shiite on June 25th, 2007 | Trackback URI |

This is the third installment of our weekly column entitled Ask a Shiite. Our resident Shiite and United Arab Emirates citizen will be fielding questions of a philosophical, physical, and political nature in regards to Shiite Islamic belief and Middle East perception. Interested in asking a question? Send an email to alec.

Question: Can you talk about sex and society in the United Arab Emirates and in Islamic culture in general? What is temporary marriage and how does it function in Islamic law and faith? Is there premarital sex and can you talk about the relationship between sex and religion for Muslims?

Answer: Temporary Marriage is a practice allowed for Muslims when they need to engage with someone from the opposite sex for multiple reasons but for a fixed amount of time and a less ‘connected’ relation.

Temp Marriage can be done for any amount of time. In the eyes of God you are lawful to each other. Once the period of the marriage expires, the couple are free to go and are ‘divorced’ automatically. But after that period the girl or woman has to wait for four monthly menstruation cycles before contracting another marriage. This prevents many problems. But in this time, if they want, the couple can marry each other again. There are a few other conditions and rules which need to be followed in Mutah and they prevent corruption.

Mutah (Temp Marriage) is not done only for sexual pleasure but for many other reasons. Technically speaking a boy or girl who have reached physical maturity can engage in Mutah. Physical maturity is defined with particular
rulings.

In many countries like Iran,I have heard, Mutah is quite common but I have personally not come across people engaging in Mutah. To engage in Mutah, the girl says a specific sentence in Arabic which basically means that she is engaging herself in Marriage for the agreed time and Dower. Then immediately the boy replies Accepted. These are the only formalities required and the couple are engaged together. For this declaration, no witnesses are required but there is no problem if there are. The dower is a small present to the wife from the husband.

Mutah is you could say a private thing and does not have anything to do with the UAE’s law. Otherwise it is done in the same way around the world.

Talking about sex is absolutely allowed in the UAE without any, as far as I know, law which prevents it. If someone has a problem with you then matters get serious otherwise if you talk with your friends in a responsible way then you are good to go.

In Islam also discussing sex is allowed provided you do not have a bad intention or you are not aroused leading to a major sin. Sex is discussed for educational purposes in fact our Infallible Imams have given us instructions on mating which are, according to science today, correct and recommended.

I personally have not come across people engaging in temporary marriage. It is allowed, practiced but people only use it as a last resort. They try to control themselves and given the right advice at the right time, people manage to pull off their teenage and young adult life without mating. There are many ways of controlling oneself and a person just needs to manage his lust properly. The reward for control over ones mind, temptations and emotions, not just in lust, is more than that of defending ourselves by war. War comes under Jihad Asghar (Lesser Struggle) and this control comes under Jihad Akbar (Greater Struggle).

Premarital sex is not allowed in Islam as it is a form of fornication and comes under a Major Sin. I don’t understand why someone would want to have premarital sex when one can engage in temporary marriage.

Of course, as said above, we can talk about the relation between sex and religion. Your perceptions towards Muslims seem to be one where Muslims are totally cut off from sex and that sex is a sin. Sex is in fact highly encouraged and given that you have the right intentions, it comes under worship of God. Sex gets rid of our sins very quickly.

This however has to be done under the Sharia rules which really help the society in the long run. They might seem harsh but this opinion should not remain when one studies their philosophy, reasoning and logic.

       

Previous Installments of Ask a Shiite: Shiites & Sunnis and Perceptions of the United States in the Middle East.

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8 Responses to “Temporary Marriage and Sex and Society in the Muslim World”

  1. Kit says:
    June 25th, 2007 at 3:46 pm

    Interesting. Temporary marriages sound similar to exclusive dating in America. Basically, sex within a committed relationship, which in most version of Christianity is a sin, unless I’ve completely missed the point of promise rings and shit like that.

    Really I don’t understand how someone could go about having premarital sex if you have temporary marriage. It seems like you’d have to be an idiot not to say the magic love words that make Allah smile on naughty couplings.

  2. Yoinks says:
    June 27th, 2007 at 9:18 am

    Sounds like a great way to keep a mistress, hire a prostitute, or have a one night stand with a stranger. Especially when marriage to your main wife doesn’t provent you from having as many “temporary marriages” as you want! There’s even a dower involved so you can compensate your new bride for her 45 minutes of matrimonial services at the local hotel.

    Hmm, is there any way to get temporary permits for OTHER sins? I mean, I’d be happy to clear it with the church before killing my neighbor or stealing a car. It seems like it all boils down to administration and ritual. Perform the right ritual and your sin is not a sin. Which, when you think about it, is pretty fantastic. Way better than those Christian prudes, who won’t let you sleep with multiple women unless you’re a Morman.

  3. Shia says:
    June 28th, 2007 at 3:42 pm

    Alright now you didnt really understand Mutah did you? About saying those ‘magic’ words, it just there to have a commitment between the two sides or if there are witnesses, then so that they hear it loud and clear. Secondly it takes less than a minute so it wouldnt hurt woudl it?

    To Yoinks:
    The points you raised are typical ones and have been literally ‘blasted’ away by our scholars. I m not an expert so I possibly couldnt do the same. Now in Mutah you cant marry a woman who is already married. The girl has to be of a good character. She cant be a publicly known adulterer and neither can the man I think. She has to wait 4 months before marrying another man. So prostitution is off the list. The girls ‘vali’ better known as the father has to give the girl permission to get married.

    According to one of our top scholars, who can be emulated for laws (there are only a handful of those type in the world at any given time), has passed his verdict that you can only marry upto 4 woman at a time.

    If I m not mistaken, you can not marry a non-muslim if you are already married with a muslim in a permanent marriage. If you are already married I think you need your wife’s permission to go into Mutah which as you might have guessed would be next to impossible.

    You try to skip any of the rules and as far asI know, the relation goes illegal. unlawful and into fornication which is a sin.

    Now these are just a few points about why Mutah is different from prostitution, adultery or fornication. I dont know why you would think Mutah is equal to adultery if you knew the about Mutah in depth. Its not a temporary license to sin legally.

  4. Shia says:
    July 1st, 2007 at 8:34 am

    To Seann:
    I am very sorry for how long it took fr me to reply to your little request. I was just kind of busy and couldnt make it.

    As for the article, I will first tell you that this has nothing to do with Islam. So we will steer clear of that. As far as the article goes, I would agree with it. This thing is actually a cultural one where Arabs think of them superior to others. I live in the UAE and to some extent we notice the same thing, however less profound, and we get angry with the Arabs. We always say that they claim to be Muslims but practice racism.

    This article might be a bit harsh or over exaggerated. Or maybe I am in the UAE so it is less apparent over here. This whole thing is cultural and the Arabs have not yet come out of it into a society that is free and equal.

    Degradation of women has been linked to Islam. While Islam does call for sexual control, it has ways like Mutah to relieve oneself. Most Arab countries are from the Sunni sect and take Mutah as illegal so this is what you get out of it. Otherwise women are protected in Islam far better than even the most advanced countries in the world. When Ayatollah Khomeini brought Islamic law to Iran, women had to take hijab (modest dressing). People criticized him. Today in Iran women are very safe, can leave their houses even late in the night without any fear. Yes some cases do go bad but they over exaggerated by the media and they are not as many as in other ‘free’ countries.

    Basically all that racism and backwardness that has been written is totally cultural and has nothing to do with Islam, and it is there even today to some extent. Hopefully the situation will get better. It is not so bad in the UAE though.

  5. Syed Ammad Ali Shah says:
    October 3rd, 2007 at 9:59 am

    I can’t believe people are doing these things as a muslim i know do all those things which makes ALLAH happy … if we’re talking about Mutah, what impression you left to others, (To Shia) So any father could ever alowed her daughter to go for temporary marriage like for two days and finish your virganity …. This never had happened in islam, if you’re talking about a boy or girl is hardly control his lust then where islam goes ..Islam teach us patience to control your senses, Marriage is only permanent mariage and nothing this not even socially having positive impact but also Islamically. People says you can go under 4 wifes at same time I want to ask those people do they beliefs all other things what islam told us, having 4 wifes, can you manage equality now adays between them ..never this is even not socially good, Man Islam is so simple just to control yourself from any sin else we’re sinful. Marriage should be 1 and both of them should loyal to each other and spend life while loving each other that’s what life is and that’s what islam told us…..

    May ALLAH bless you all

  6. adult says:
    August 16th, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    cool post dude

  7. nazia prima hussain says:
    August 17th, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    oh my good ness!!!!
    how vould this happen in islam!!!
    im never going to do mutah!!
    its ll for sex!!
    other wise who would want to get maried for like 1 month???
    not me!!
    what if you have chlidren!!

  8. muhammad says:
    August 23rd, 2008 at 7:07 am

    all this is bullshit, there is no such thing as a “temporary marriage” in islam.you’re just makin fun of islam.

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