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Time Magazine is our ho of the week for running an “article” that boils down to: women all do this, and men all do this. While feministing and pandagon put it much better than I could, here are some of my favorite quotes:
When men disagree, the steps to resolution are reasonably clear and unsophisticated. Acts of physical violence are visited upon one another’s person or property, and the whole thing blows over. Women? Nu-unh. We savor the discord. We draw it out. We share our contempt with our friends, like a useful stock tip, or really good salsa. And then we all go hate together: a mutually encouraging group activity for when the book group gets quiet.
She’s too confident. This also bodes ill. Women have self-esteem issues.
Next time I disagree with someone, I’m going straight over to them and beating the shit out of them. This is apparently called being a man. And I thought all I had to do was have a penis and watch football.
The Ho of the Week, and really of our lifetimes, is Hollywood. You can’t even spell Hollywood without ho. Anyways, the reason this week for calling Hollywood a ho is their complete inability to pass the Bechdel Rule. The Bechdel Rule was introduced in Allison Bechdel’s comic Dykes to Watch Out For back in a 1985 strip. The basic principle is that in order to pass three simple rules must be followed:
1) There must be two women in it
2) They must speak to each other
3) About something besides a man
The fact that there are so few movies that pass this test underlines the male-centric view of the world that Hollywood presents. Bitch Ph.D. discuss this phenomenon in terms of summer blockbuster #1, the Dark Knight Returns. NPR discusses it and extends it to other under represented groups.
A list of movies and their Bechdel Rule factor.
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful)
25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least
half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a
year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
– Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
– What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
– Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
– Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain?
I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly
wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village.
What’s the story there?
– Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor.
How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the
hedge fund guys hang out?
– How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
—————
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
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