Word Of The Day

When he gave interviews to foreign journalists, which he did rarely, Osama bin Laden had a way of looking down at his hands. This, and his soft, slightly raspy voice, and his gentle eyes—as well as the fact that he allowed no instantaneous translation—helped conceal what he was saying: that it was the duty of all Muslims to kill unbelievers, especially Americans, and that when he had seen the bodies of the infidels flying “like dust motes” on September 11th 2001, his heart had filled with joy.

His mien was that of the sage, not the killer. He seldom shed blood himself, though his treasured Kalashnikov, which he carried everywhere, was said to have been wrested in single combat from a Russian soldier in Afghanistan. As a rule he observed from afar as “his boys” blew up the American base at Khobar in Saudi Arabia, or the USS Cole in Yemen (he wrote a poem about that, the little dinghy bobbing on the waves) or the American embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, where in 1998 more than 200 died. Terrorism could be commendable or reprehensible, he smoothly agreed, but this was “blessed terror”, in defence of Islam. At first he denied any part in the 9/11 attacks, but at last pride got the better of him: yes, it was he who had guided his 19 brothers towards their “easy” targets.

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Made by me, King of the Internet.

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1. Once you have their money … never give it back.
2. Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.
3. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
4. A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
5. Keep your ears open.
6. Small print leads to large risk.
7. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
8. Greed is eternal.
9. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
10. A deal is a deal … until a better one comes along.
11. A contract is a contract is a contract (but only between conservatives).
12. A conservative without profit is no conservative at all.
13. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
14. Never place friendship above profit (or morals, the law, or the public interest). Continue Reading This Article…

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Malarkey is an important word, handed down by our forefathers to express our disgust with the phoniness of life. I want this word preserved, so when I am a crotchety 50 year old man and one of those damned blacks steals my lawn ornaments, I’ll say ‘what a bunch of malarkey’.

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2 Years Ago, Kit on PBH:

We believe in Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, unless Steve can hit the 3 and Adam can run the motion offense.

This week on the Onion:

A two-handed slam dunk by an openly homosexual man set off a chain of events this week that culminated in the legalization of gay marriage in nine states, including Mississippi and Alabama. “When I saw that dunk, I was like, ‘Whoa!’” said Alabama state Sen. Hinton Mitchem, adding that his office was flooded with calls and e-mails from constituents demanding legal recognition of same-sex marriages following the slam. “A guy with nasty moves like that should be entitled to the same fundamental rights as the rest of us.” On Thursday, the New York State Senate passed a resolution declaring that it would take a pretty sweet roundhouse kick from a gay mixed martial arts champion before it would allow homosexuals to marry.

We slander, you decide.

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Everyone’s favorite idiot columnist at the New York Times, Thomas Friedman, is out with a real intellectual whopper today, entitled www.jihad.com. In it, he patiently describes that what Islam needs is a civil war. Yes, that Islam, the one with over 1 billion adherents across the globe, needs to have a civil war:

We had a civil war in America in the mid-19th century because we had a lot of people who believed bad things — namely that you could enslave people because of the color of their skin. We defeated those ideas and the individuals, leaders and institutions that propagated them, and we did it with such ferocity that five generations later some of their offspring still have not forgiven the North.

When I read this, I feel like I’m getting yelled at by Bill Cosby with down syndrome. “You see kids, the Islam today is full of bad people… now back in the 1800′s, America was divided into two worlds: slaves and Abraham Lincoln. And with the mighty advent of Kodak film and jello pudding, Democracy won. To summarize my points, Jihad is bad.” And it only gets better:

A corrosive mind-set has taken hold since 9/11. It says that Arabs and Muslims are only objects, never responsible for anything in their world, and we are the only subjects, responsible for everything that happens in their world. We infantilize them.

What the fuck does this even mean? Does Thomas Friedman not understand what the word “subjects” means? Yes, since 9/11, America has invaded and occupied Iraq and Afghanistan, hoisted billions of dollars onto Saudi Arabia, Israel, Pakistan, and Egypt, and threatened to blow up Iran, and THE ISLAMS is responsible.

Fuck! Why is Thomas Friedman so fucking stupid!

See Also: No, This Time You Suck On This, See If You Can Spot What Tom Friedman Misses, and Internet Proves To Be Fertile Ground For Jihadist Recruitment.

Technorati Tags: thomas friedman, thomas friedman is a fucking idiot, what a tool, how does he write for the new york times, i want to lock tom friedman and joe Lieberman in gitmo and feed them dog shit for the rest of their worthless lives, fuck thomas friedman, idiot, moron, new york times

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