The Best Of You

You gaze idly at the carnage around you, sigh, and go calmly back to your coffee and your People magazine. You think you’re an activist because you bitch all day on the internet, but you reelect the same gangsters at a 99% rate. You shrug your shoulders at the knowledge that your government is populated by criminal liars intent on fooling you into impoverished, helpless submission. You cheer this process on. You consider yourself informed because you waste a significant portion of your life watching the same three news stories cycle over and over again on your gargantuan, aerodynamic television set while you eat processed food. Your whole life has been a pitiful exercise in rote mimicry, a meek subjugation of individuality in exchange for herd approval. Your delusions of “common sense” wisdom stem from an unwillingness to seek information and an inability to critically analyze it. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You never hesitate to offer strong opinions on subjects you don’t know a damn thing about. You’re more worried about friction on the “Desperate Housewives” set than the lack of health coverage at your tedious, soul-destroying job. You have no idea what is going on in the world, and you’re fine with that. You have a poorer understanding of your country’s foreign policy history than a third world peasant, but you can’t wait to see what Julia Roberts will be wearing at the Oscars. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American. You are why democracy doesn’t work. You are an idiot.

Exhibit A: You’re fat.

Punishment: You’re soaking in it.

[a mash up of the You's from the past 5 years Buffalo Beasts 50 Most Loathsome]



The Day I Was Outed As A Republican Operative

If you visited Reddit yesterday (and at some points today), the first post that greeted you was:


That links to a post by me entitled “What Exactly Has “Changed” Under Obama? The Rich Get Bailouts, Torture Goes Unprosecuted, AIPAC Decides The Fate Of Iran, and Democrats Are Still Silent Accomplices In Bush-Era War Crimes“. Followed by the posters comments on the story, it essentially implicates me and ProseBeforeHos as being mere operatives in a grander ploy by Republicans to turn social media sites against Barack Obama and the Democratic Party.

First, I would like to address the accusation in itself: Under no circumstances would I ever take money from the Republican party. I spent my seventeenth year on this planet working on Ralph Naders 2000 Presidential campaign. I spent 2004 and 2006 working for state Green Party’s (Virginia and Georgia, respectively). I’m not going to go into greater detail about my personal history or beliefs, but I am the farthest thing from a conservative. I do not have any sympathy, desire to work with, or would ever take cash to either manipulate a social media site, to promote a Republican or conservative agenda, or do anything that undermines the integrity of this website. I don’t hold many things sacred, but the purity and honesty in which I pursue things is one of them.

Secondly, yes, the title was hyperbolic. But, I stand by the assertions I made. I don’t think it is a big deal Nancy Pelosi was possibly consulted about torture techniques. What I do think is a big deal is Nancy Pelosi and Co. spending 6 years cheering on the worst offenses of George Bush’s administration. And at the center of the torture debate, the Democrats are scared to death, because they are implicit accomplices in Bush’s war crimes by not doing a damn thing to stop them while they occurred.

Thirdly, the incident revealed one sad aspect of the social networking frenzy: it breeds the worst kind of self-obsession and bloated sense of collective ego I have witnessed online. At most, Digg and Reddit garner a couple hundred thousand unique visitors a day. Do you really think that, in the grand scheme of things, the social networking sites are such a great democratic movement? Do you really think that you are so important as to warrant a grand conspiracy to influence your opinions? The answer is no to both questions, and we’d all be a lot better off if you got over yourselves.

Love always,



Reddit: You Got Me, Here’s How I Did It

If you are coming from Reddit, you are aware of some very serious allegations about ProseBeforeHos being a Republican-funded website. In essence, it has been charged that we have been paid to astroturf and flood Reddit with our neo-conservative, anti-Obama view point.

I’m unsure of how it came out, but it’s the truth. For the past 18 months, ProseBeforeHos has been taking money from the Republican National Committee to fund our online advocacy. If there is one thing we love at ProseBeforeHos, it’s the idea of subverting the ultra-liberal, communist, black, jewish, Hollywood controlled administration of Barack Hussein Obama. And, as social media sites like Reddit, Digg, and StumbleUpon control the outcome of this wonderful and just democracy (and some would say, the very trajectory of the world), the RNC felt it necessary to organize users against the Great Black-Commie Threat. So, Michael Steele and Newt Gingrich personally delivered me $50,000 of Ron Paul-stamped Gold Bars, and off to work I went.

Now, you may ask, how did you do this? How are your posts so popular? The answer is thousands of people are on our payroll. How many impotent middle-aged white Libertarians have you encountered in online discussions? How many fat, idiotic rednecks have you run-over in your liberal limousines? Chances are each and every one of them are on our payroll, doing their best to manipulate the hive mind to undermine Neo-Nazi universal health care and sensible foreign policy.

So, there is the truth. But the real question is, are you interested in joining ProseBeforeHos in making sure that the conservative voice is heard on social media sites? If so, we can pay up to $5 per Reddit upvote or Digg. Sound good? Click to join our burgeoning new media empire and get paid handsomely to do so).



The Sugarcubes

The Sugarcubes (Sykurmolarnir in Icelandic) were an Icelandic alternative rock band formed in 1986 and disbanded in 1992. They received critical and popular acclaim internationally.

They first came to notice in the UK when radio DJ John Peel played “Birthday”, later voted by his listeners as a single of the year. The band’s music was characterized by a psychedelic post-punk sound sometimes reminiscent of The B-52′s, whimsical yet heartfelt lyrics, and the imploring, girlish voice of vocalist Björk Guðmundsdóttir, who later went on to great success as a solo artist. While not as successful as Björk’s solo career would be, the band is still very highly regarded and was the most influential Icelandic group until the rise of Sigur Rós.

The Sugarcubes dissolved in 1992 as different members of the band had realized they all had different ambitions; instead of risking their friendship, the band went on an indefinite hiatus. They remain friends to this day and are all still involved in the management of record label Smekkleysa (Bad Taste Ltd).

[tags]the sugarcubes, 1980′s, 1990′s, icelandic music group, Björk Guðmundsdóttir, Björk’s first music group, bjork, albums, live performances, youtube videos, concerts, birthday, hit, deus, eat the menu, music videos, artist of the day[/tags]



The King Of Snark

“It must have cost a man as amiable as Engels a considerable conscious effort to keep up with Marx’s relentless misanthropy. We feel it in reading their correspondence. Marx had the satanic genius of the satirist: his sneers are the true expression of his nature, and for this reason they are often effective: but Engel’s sneers seem off-key. Though he can be humorous, he cannot be deadly: he simply commits faults of bad taste. Poor Engels, who had done what Marx had not: repudiated the bourgeois family–had sacrificed more by his bohemian life than it is easy today to understand.”

– Edmund Wilson in To The Finland Station


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