Hear ye! Hear ye!
Your Pope is here.
I Pope Ron Paul am stepping forward to take the reins of leadership out of the hands of the ignorant. I will bless you and keep you safe from the scary minds of Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani. Go forth my minions and tell the world of my coming!
As your Pope, I have decrees. Hear them.
- I have excommunicated the Washington Monument. Good government doesn’t need monuments or Washington
- Bring me your gold. In the future, gold is the only money, and its value will be regulated by a giant robot brain.
- Do not fear the Hilary Clinton, for she is a woman, and women can’t be president. It is in the Bible.
- There is no Pope but Pope Ron Paul. All other Popes are second to him.
- I was a doctor, and I like candy. Therefore all doctors will forever and on eat candy.
Take these first decrees to heart. Spread my word and embrace my views. For lo, my followers embrace all that I say. My Paulies know the truth and they spread the word like true zealots of the faith. Do not stand in their way for you will be trampled. Do not deny their word for there is nothing but what is right. Do not question their faith for only their path is the chosen one.
Join my movement and rest your weary brain in my pool of easy thought. I know your troubles and woes. We will save this country one mind at a time. Come. Join your Pope and learn to think like all the rest of us.
Pope Ron Paul is here.
 THE POPE DECLARES WAR |  This is what the Pope lost to? WTF!?!?! | The Rise Of The Twee Party | The Rise Of American Oligarchy |
Explore the PBH Network! More funny, faster.