Congratulations to the winner of the first ever Prose Before Hos Award for Valor in the Face of Courage, Greg StiflyStiferson. Let us recount the story of Greg’s story before we lubricate his body with praise and store-brand massage oil.
It was a fine Spring day working as an Americorp volunteer as Greg trudged through hours of thankless work in post-Katrina New Orleans. As a white European colonizer in this foreign land, Greg expected booty and treasure, including but not limited to access to local colored women and raiding the medicine cabinets of abandoned houses.
But alas, he was wrong, as his politically correct overlords demanded he respect local customs and transform the once majestic city into a chocolate utopia. Finally, he decided to speak up against his oppression in what truly became an act of dignity and courage.
While painting a barn that would later serve as a halfway house for Sudanese war criminals, Greg became splattered with red paint. In a triumphant political move, Greg announced to the group ‘Look at me! I’m like an abortion doctor!’
With that act, he had risen against his liberal oppressors, an act which was quickly met with public reprimand and an order to complete a ten page paper on women’s rights. This award is for you, Stifly McGreg, a true public servant and hero from all of us at Prose Before Hos:
For your hard work and decency, we have donated 10 live chickens and 50 yards of barbed wire to a Chinese sweatshop. Thank you, dear sir, you are a hero to all of us (and everyone at the Nike factory).
Hahaha. First of all I’d like to thank all those aborted babies who made my joke and this award possible. Id also like to thank the girls on my team who shared a glimmer of my revolt from the chocolate utopia when they laughed at this and other jokes in the vain of PBH humor-like when I said of a girl with splattered red paint around her pants “Looks like the monthly blood. No, no, my mistake-monthly miscarriage.” I’ll continue to carry the torch of potty humor for all those who hide from the world’s horrors with poop jokes. Thanks
Greg: I’m proud that you are keeping up the tradition of fine on the ground reporting for PBH. I expect a full round up in the near future of your exploits!