Eric Fensler (of GI Joe PSA and TRS-80 fame) teamed up with the Eric of Tim and Eric to make an amazing music video. There’s also another music video that Tim/Eric’s Eric did for a group called The Bird and The Bee (they did that song Again & Again that I popular on college radio) that’s on that page. I had never thought about how Tim/Eric and Fensler share an aesthetic, but I guess they are both really into paying homage/parodying retro lo-fi.

So there is a shitload of drama surrounding Bristol Palin’s pregnancy. Specifically, is this actually her second time being pregnant, and is “Twig,” VPILF’s supposed fifth child, actually Bristol’s child. The Philly Daily News breaks it down:

http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/27755734.html

This is my favorite part, it’s the “what if they aren’t lying” scenario:

In April, reportedly 36 weeks pregnant, Palin flew to Dallas to give a speech. Before the speech, she began to leak amniotic fluid. Tough Alaska moose-hunter that she is, she gave the speech anyway. She called her family doctor, who is not an OB-GYN, who allegedly told her it would be OK to fly back to Alaska. For the record, there are hospitals in Dallas.

Basic introduction. I’m an American expat working and living in London. I’ve actually lived in Europe for three years now and am going to start telling people that I left when Bush was re-elected because of a promise I made on the Conan O’Brien Show a la Alec Baldwin (the actor, not the douchebag who runs this site). Anyway, that’s a lie (about leaving because of Bush’s re-election, not about Alec being a douche) and I’ve actually seen some interesting things in my years abroad. This particular incident is not necessarily that interesting, but what the hell this is a blog. I was in Istanbul with my fiancee last weekend and recounted this anecdote about the Turkish Capital to a half-Turkish half-American friend of ours who gave us some tips on what to do there. The conversation is as follows:
12:42 PM Alhan: looks like i dont have access to that photo  maybe i need to be “friends” with kristine12:43 PM maybe you could email the photos?12:44 PM me: just befriend kristine  but i’ll email said photos  okay  here’s the first story  our first full day we go to the blue mosque and it’s really beautiful of course12:46 PM we start to go through the first entrance and this little middle-aged turkish dude in a like old, grey 90s style suit comes up to us and starts trying to chat us up  and he’s like, “you’re supposed to go this way my friend, I’ll show you exactly where to go”  hold12:48 PM back on  anyway, he’s like “I’ll show you where to go and afterwards I’ll show you my carpet store”12:49 PM and we’re like, “no, no, thank you, thank you, that’s very nice but we just want to do it ourselves.”  and he says, “no, no, you don’t understand, i show you where to go, you do it yourselves, and then we talk on other side!”12:50 PM and he just starts following us as we head through the main entranceway up to the actual mosque  and both my fiancee and i are too big pussies to tell him to go away  so i stupidly start answering his questions, because i don’t want to be rude, and talking to him  and he’s like “so where are you from?”12:51 PM and i tell him “kristine’s swedish, but my mother’s french and my father’s american and i’m from the states”  and he’s like, “oh, i’ve been to the states before it’s very nice, I love seattle and my daughter goes to school in america”12:52 PM and to be polite i’m like, “where does she go to school?”  and he’s like emory university  and that’s where I went to school, so i was kind of surprised, because there are only really like 6,000 undergraduate students there, so the odds are incredibly small, so i tell him i went to emory and try to make that a mutual point of conversation12:53 PM and he does not seem impressed, and starts going off on a typical schpeel about how, “people are people, and we’re all the same, and it doesn’t matter where your from, etc.etc.”12:54 PM and in my head i’m thinking, well we actually have something in common and you’re trying to sell me a carpet by giving me the same idiotic speech you give everybody? how bad of a salesman are you? but I ask him what his daughter is studying, to try to get back on topic12:57 PM and he’s like, “middle eastern studies” and i’m like, “it’s a very nice school and a good department” and he’s like “yeah, yeah,” and goes right back to the speech! and starts advising us on how we have to take our shoes off when we get into the mosque, because we would not have figured that out from the signs in english, the security guards and the fact that everybody else around us was doing the same, and he continues to give us these very pertinent pieces of advice, like “go in through there” and “i’ll meet you on the other side” and i know kristine’s looking at me like, “oh fuck, what have you done.”12:59 PM so we go in, and it’s incredibly beautiful and we’re both very impressed, but i know kristine’s nervous about that guy, cuz we’ve had a bad history of being followed around in foreign (generally muslim) countries by people we don’t know who want to “befriend” us and show us around, etc. and i’m looking at her, like, “what kind of a retard do you think i am if you think i’m going to follow this guy around for god knows how long when we have other things to do.” Anyway, we leave the mosque and the guy is of course there waiting for us1:00 PM and while we put our shoes on i’m trying to steer his rants back to the idea that we actually do have things in common by talking about emory, but he just sort of shrugs me off and says that it’s incredibly expensive (which of course it is)  and we’re ready to go  and he’s like “come with me, this way, we’re going to see my carpet store now”1:01 PM and i’m all sort of quiet and not very agressive, but telling him, no actually, we have a friend of a friend we have to meet at the grand bazaar who owns a carpet store already and we are meant to go there  and he’s like, “no, no, no you don’t understand” like we were confused about something and he was going to make everything clear1:02 PM “you don’t need to buy the carpets, you just need to come to the store and look at them! Now come with me.”  and we’re like sorry dude, thanks anyway and we kind of slink off1:03 PM and he looks at us all indignant and pathetic and what not, and i can’t help but feel sorry for the poor bastard, because i know that yearly tuition at emory with room and board is $35,000 plus and that was five years ago, so it’s probably like $40,000 by now, but for fuck’s sake did he really think we were going to go with him?  fin1:04 PM Alhan: yeah they do that  its true  you couldnt feel too sorry for him  they play on that  so is that the tragic one?1:07 PM me: yah  that’s the “tragic” one  i thought it was kind of funny though Alhan: did he say his name at any point? me: but the second one is actually funny, funny  oh shit  let me call kristine1:09 PM he didn’t introduce himself properly kristine said  and if he did i missed it Alhan: what did he look like me: oh, the other thing is he kept calling us “brothers and sisters”1:10 PM kristine: “short, bald,big eyes, he looked sort of like a small version of those big monsters in lord of the rings number three, the big ogre things with one eye”1:11 PM i’m terrible at describing people   BLUE MOSQUE ENTRYWAY  INSIDE THE BLUE MOSQUE  

So what are you going to be doing for the 5th anniversary of the war? Anybody know of any good protests going on? It’s only a month away.

This picture really sums up the evil we have brought (disturbing):
http://www.photojournalism.org/2007%20images/web/contest/singles/source/spot_news1.htm

What the presidential candidates will do:
http://www.theonion.com/content/whitehousewar/iraqwar

The original homeland security:
http://markybaby.com/SU_images/homelandSecurity.jpg

OBAMARAMA baby!

Because we don’t live in a real democracy, I can’t endorse my true favorite. This man would restore honor and truth to America. Or at least truthiness. That’s why I’d like to endorse Stephen Colbert for president.

Could you imagine the sarcastic irony he could employ while meeting with our great democratic friends in Russia, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, ….

There’s a new post-hipster, post-modern fashion craze sweeping across our Christian land, and we here at Prose Before Hos are proud to present an exposé on the latest inster fashion trends.

At a House Party:

At Work:

On Myspace:

Going to a poetry slam:

Working out:

As you can see, your typical inster is fit and literate, and enjoys coffee. Floral notes accent the vibrant colors and dyi aesthetic. This is clearly what to watch for 2008.

This is part two of a series detailing what is Prose Before Hos (see Alec’s entry for his conception):

The term “Prose Before Hos” embodies the post-modern concept that the website strives for. The wordplay upon the fraternal phrase “Bros Before Hos” mocks sound-bite culture, Modern and traditional social values and movements, and even our own pretension.

How to take a dump, courtesy of Sheryl Crow and MetaFilter.

Speaking of taking a dump, look who has dumped all over America, oh what legacy awaits. Alternate portrait of America.

America, land of the free?
Whoever told you that is your enemy

I sing of simpler times, when we were free to have blow jobs in the Oval Office. Let us recap the non-violent American news today:

Don’t ever mess with America ever, even if what you are doing is not a crime, don’t fuck with us period.

Service your masters, who cares about morality? Let’s get real, really realistic, ends must justify means, this ism is the only real one.

Fast food politics, the theory is always prettier than the reality

Do you ever have one of those days where nothing makes sense? Snakes on a multi-billion dollar corporation. God is Satan. God is a decider and compassionate.

People are idiots

I love snakes.

In order to commemorate this glorious event, we at Prose Before Hos have designed a T-shirt to show off your American spirit. But act quick, supplies are limited and operators are standing by!

Kids, if you really want to piss off your parents, buy real estate in an imaginary place.

He’s touring with RJD2, I’m having a hipster moment in my pants.

Canada is great, and their tv shows are the hottest thing at the Onion AV club. I wish I could have a Canadian slave. Also, Buddhists have cooler superpowers than Christians