Secular Central

Do you watch secular central? That was a pretty cute attempt at humor Mr. O’Reilly. Those starched up shirts and home grown values sure have won you an intelligent, informed following.

Evidently, the storm troopers of diversity think there’s a nicer way to say, “Merry Christmas.”

Your everyday dose of grief is now ready

Sorry for the lack of updates folks, things have been more hectic then usual plus we’re dealing with some of our own problems at PBH. But here is a comprehensive update of the past few days and the news that should make you feel appropriately miserable.

People shouldn’t die because they have sex. If one thing has constantly angered me with the Bush Administration, it’s the abstinence policy. First off, only a small percent of people seriously practice this in America let alone safe sex, and I imagine it is much worse in third world countries where education and incomes are the lowest, and AIDS rates the highest. This isn’t a moral issue. This is a practical health issue.

Nothing has been funnier then the fall of Duke Cunningham, the Republican congressman from California, being caught taking bribes from the Defense Industry. And I think this Slate article hits it dead on: it’s not the fact that he got caught, it’s how many others probably haven’t and won’t be caught. Washington is an enterprise, and power serves as this areas biggest financial industry. It also doesn’t help the fact that he’s aggressive bobblehead turned cry baby, and that on his first trip back to Vietnam, Cunningham sat down with Vietnamese officials for a formal dinner, and his first words of the evening were: “You gooks shot me down.”

Iraq News. I will just have one long, painful paragraph dedicated to this. Is this in the right publication? I think this should be in the Onion as opposed to CNN. I love how they compare to Iraq and Vietnam, that we left the South Vietnamese on their own, they lost, and so we shouldn’t make the same mistake twice, therefore we should leave Iraq. Thus, making the same mistake twice and letting them ‘lose’ on their own. Am I missing something here? And, in an effort to promote freedom of the press, we’ve been paying to run stories in Iraqi newspapers. Who regards this as truly a big deal though? If you’re dumb enough to believe most of what you read, then you’re just above people who believe everything they see. Oh, and the military we are training in Iraq has begun performing revenge killings against mostly Sunni’s. Good thing I’m nice and warm in Washington DC. To finish this up, I’ll add my favorite link that provides a pretty good first hand account of a contractor’s life in Iraq. I always like first hand accounts that aren’t widely publicized because you can generally rely on their honesty in the things that matter – general atmosphere, interaction with Iraqi’s, and a more toned down perspective then what one would receive in the mass media.

A good article from the BBC on the French riots of this summer. If one thing angered me about the coverage I saw, it was the constant iteration of the word ‘Muslim’ in the American press. And to me, if these events are to draw analogy to anything American, it should the LA riots. Would anyone rightfully consider the LA riots and its participants terrorists or extremists? No, and if anything, those words should be replaced with disenfranchised, detached, or criminal — because that was what both riots were about: reaction and opportunism.

Other intriguing news: a new mammal was found in Borneo and a pack of wild squirrels killed a dog in Russia. First off, how funny is that? Can you imagine someone telling their great grand-children about this? “Melosh was around for great squirrel uprising of early 21st century, they were as black as night, ate my crop, and stole my vodka” (all of this of course said in a thick accent).

That’s the world for now, keep your TV and computers plugged in so you can be crushed by more of the world’s despair until next time.

Let’s blow up the Arab Press (and other fun ideas)

Did George Bush want to bomb Al-Jazeera? It doesn’t seem unlikely given Al-Jazeeras standing and reporting. Plus Georgey hates free speech, if I remember reading my monthly liberal periodical correctly.

In other related news, Republican Representative “Duke” Cunningham broke down crying to admit he took over 2 million dollars from defense firms. I liked his apology which featured his tearful regrets, mostly because it made him look like a fat child who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Christian peacekeepers go to Iraq, and immediately get taken hostage. The Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT) is described as an “ecumenical pacifist group”, and it seems they actually do a fairly good job of reporting life on the ground.

Oh, and in other wonderful, the earth should now end soon news, a woman had the first face transplant, twice as many men are paying for sex, and a crazy Brit killed a black guy with an axe. By the way, if you think this earth is going to be around that long, then you must not keep up with the Chinese. Those damned ninjas will destroy this world faster then we’ll realize.

And on the semi-annual Bill O’Reilly update, he has published his blacklist. Three media outlets, and one of them is MSNBC? And they use ‘far-left’ sources? What? Well, Happy Holidays to you Mr. O’Reilly, we can only hope that if there really is a God, someone who enjoys Al-Jazeera and women in headscarves decides to blow themselves up while giving you a hug.

Bill O’Reilly is a moron (and so are his fans)

If you saw the Daily Show in mid-October, there was an interview with Bill O’Reilly, on the show to promote his book ‘The Factor’, for kids. Bill was very defensive and aggressive, more so then usual on his Fox box. The funniest moment occured when the audience began clapping when O’Reilly said he was thinking about retiring. O’Reilly proceeded to tell them to stop being French. Here is the video.

This comes after O’Reilly slammed Daily Show watchers as ‘pothead slackers. The interesting twist? The viewers of the Factor are stupider and poorer than viewers of the Daily Show. Oops.

Here is the data from Nielsen Media Research about the two shows:

* The median age of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” 11:00 p.m. (premiere) airing is 35, while its median income is $67,000.
* The median age of “The O’Reilly Factor” 8:00 p.m. (premiere) airing is 63, while its median income is $54,000.
* Viewers of “The Daily Show” are 78% more likely than the average adult to have four or more years of college education.
* Viewers of “The O’Reilly Factor” are only 24% more likely than the average adult to have four or more years of college education.
* Viewers of “The Daily Show” are 42% more likely than the average adult to have a household income of $75,000+.
* Viewers of “The O’Reilly Factor” are only 6% more likely the average adult to have a household income of $75,000+.
* Viewers of “The Daily Show” are 26% more likely than the average adult to have a household income of $100,000+.
* Viewers of “The O’Reilly Factor” are only 11% more likely than the average adult to have a household income of $100,000+.
* Viewers of “The Daily Show” are 74% more likely than the average adult to have a household income of $75,000+ and an occupation of “professional, owner or manager.”
* Viewers of “The O’Reilly Factor” are 15% less likely than the average adult to have a household income of $75,000+ and an occupation of “professional, owner or manager.”
* Viewers of “The Daily Show” are 37% more likely than the average adult to be in a “white collar” profession.
* Viewers of “The O’Reilly Factor” are 15% less likely the average adult to be in a “white collar” profession.

Oh, and also, Bill O’Reilly likes coercive phone sex.

Washington DC, Special Edition

Seeing as I’m a nearby resident of the wonderful city of Washington DC, I thought I would do a nice informal edition dedicated to America’s capital. Though a wonderful city from bars and clubs to museums and sight-seeing, the city has been in run into the ground by local officials for decades. As a fathers friend once said to me (who had been involved all over the world with the State Department and USAID — including numerous Middle East and African governments), “the District has the most corrupt government I have ever seen.” And with that intro, I bring you a special edition to my city.

No bid contracts, favoritism passed down from government officials. All pretty routine in DC, and now a few years later, everyone acknowledges the problem after the fact. If you pay taxes in DC, you may as well dump off a large bag of money on Marion Barry’s front yard.

So basically after you have this happen, the first people that get short changed are schools.

Then after you had white flight from Washington DC in the 1960’s, you had black flight in the 1980’s. What’s happening now? Oh, crime now flows out of Washington DC, into Prince George’s County in Maryland. PG County in Maryland, next to DC, has one of the highest murder rates in the Nation. And DC itself spends over 40 million dollars a year just for security personnel at schools.

Navy investigators target gay sailors in DC. That’s a good way to spend money. Fuck Iraq or Osama Bin Laden. I want queers who like Madonna to get nailed.

Oh, and all of our sports teams suck. Especially the Redskins.