News to Make Ping Pong China Blue

Chinese people, I like you, but you’re crazy. For instance, in China, ping pong players are celebrities. There is two things wrong with this: it’s ping pong. So paragraphs like this can actually exist in the Wall Street Journal:

In China, ping-pong players are major celebrities whose off-court antics are watched as closely as their on-court smash serves. The military-like discipline the national team’s coaches try to enforce — housing players in dormitories and prohibiting them from dating teammates — hasn’t stopped Mr. Chen and his teammates from living life on the edge. In February, one team member was suspended for a year for a bout of late-night drinking. In late July, another teammate was forced to pay a fine and publicly apologize after crashing his Porsche Boxster into a taxi while driving drunk.

Actually, I remember the second thing wrong about this — there’s a RAP VIDEO for the CHINESE PING PONG TEAM. Also, China is taking all of our oil.