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Democratz seyz: I want my baby back ribs (bbq iraq sauce)

If you get erections from political sellouts, this week was your week to shine (with hard-ons). No sooner did the Democrats get control of the House and Senate on the anti-War, anti-Bush platform did they cave in to have their pockets lined with delicious government money. Oh boy, the sea of change:

We are in the midst of an intellectual crisis in this country where certain dogmatic and incoherent beliefs are allowed to dominate the discourse in spite of the fact that they are demonstrably false. It’s one of the most difficult problems we ace.

Other things worth checking out: War Crimes at Waiter Rant, where he dissects the idea of fellatio practicing and chocha shaving, Think Before You Post (or you may have hot 40 year old males waiting for your underwear), and yet another funny/sad example of Fox News “interesting” take on the world.

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Happy Memorial Day

An Iraqi boy hides behind a U.S. soldier on Monday amid gunfire after a car bomb in Central Baghdad killed 24 people:

iraqibombin1 Happy Memorial Day

iraqibombin21 Happy Memorial Day

 Happy Memorial Day

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Poland wants to get to the bottom of androgyny

The Article: Poland to probe if Teletubbies are gay. Seriously.

The Text: Poland’s conservative government took its drive to curb what it sees as homosexual propaganda to the small screen on Monday, taking aim at Tinky Winky and the other Teletubbies.

Ewa Sowinska, government-appointed children rights watchdog, told a local magazine published on Monday she was concerned the popular BBC children’s show promoted homosexuality.

She said she would ask psychologists to advise if this was the case.

In comments reminiscent of criticism by the late U.S. evangelist Jerry Falwell, she was quoted as saying: “I noticed (Tinky Winky) has a lady’s purse, but I didn’t realize he’s a boy.”

“At first I thought the purse would be a burden for this Teletubby … Later I learned that this may have a homosexual undertone.”

Poland’s rightist government has upset human rights groups and drawn criticism within the European Union by apparent discrimination against homosexuals.

Polish Education Minister Roman Giertych has proposed laws sacking teachers who promote “homosexual lifestyle” and banning “homo-agitation” in schools.

But in a sign that the government wants to distance itself from Sowinska’s comments, Parliamentary Speaker Ludwig Dorn said he had warned her against making public comments “that may turn her department into a laughing stock.”

The 10-year-old Teletubbies, which features four rotund, brightly colored characters loved by children around the world, became a target of religious conservatives after Falwell suggested Tinky Winky could be homosexual.

The Analysis: I thought Jerry Falwell was dead? What the fuck? And since when is it the government’s job to discover why Bobby likes Mark — god forbid it’s something genetic or natural, fagdom is of course accomplished by years of ambiguously asexual children’s programming. Maybe they can hire Fred Phelps as a special consultant.

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I Will Commit Harakiri If I Agree With Pat Buchanan Again

The Article: Why Congress Caved to Bush by Pat Buchanan at Antiwar.

The Text: The antiwar Democrats are crying betrayal – and justifiably so.

For a Democratic Congress is now voting to fully fund the war in Iraq, as demanded by President Bush, and without any timetable for a U.S. troop withdrawal. Bush got his $100 billion, then magnanimously agreed to let Democrats keep the $20 billion in pork they stuffed into the bill – to soothe the pain of their sellout of the party base.

Remarkable. If the Republican rout of 2006 said anything, it was that America had lost faith in the Bush-Rumsfeld conduct of the war and wanted Democrats to lead the country out.

Yet, today, there are more U.S. troops in Iraq than when the Democrats won. More are on the way. And with the surge and retention of troops in Iraq beyond normal tours, there should be a record number of U.S. troops in country by year’s end.

Why did the Democrats capitulate?

Because they lack the courage of their convictions. Because they fear the consequences if they put their antiwar beliefs into practice. Because they are afraid if they defund the war and force President Bush to withdraw U.S. troops, the calamity he predicts will come to pass and they will be held accountable for losing Iraq and the strategic disaster that might well ensue.

Democrats are an intimidated party. The reasons are historical. They were shredded by Nixon and Joe McCarthy for FDR’s surrenders to Stalin at Tehran and Yalta, for losing China to Mao’s hordes, for the “no-win war” in Korea, for being “soft on communism.”

The best and the brightest – JFK’s New Frontiersmen – were held responsible for plunging us into Vietnam and proving incapable of winning the war. A Democratic Congress cut off aid to Saigon in 1975, ceding Southeast Asia to Hanoi and bringing on the genocide of Pol Pot.

Democrats know they are distrusted on national security. They fear that if they defund this war and bring on a Saigon ending in the Green Zone, it will be a generation before they are trusted with national power. And power is what the party is all about.

Yet, not only does the situation in Iraq appear increasingly grim, with rising U.S. and Iraqi casualties, other shoes are about to drop that will reverberate throughout the region.

Support for Prime Minister Ehud Olmert, with his war in Lebanon a debacle and his leadership denounced by a commission he appointed, is in single digits. Waiting in the wings is Likud super-hawk “Bibi” Netanyahu, the most popular politician in Israel, who compares today to Munich 1938 and equates Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad with Hitler.

If and when Bibi comes to power, he will use every stratagem to provoke us into attacking “Hitler.”

Also drumming for war on Iran are the floundering neocons and the Israeli lobby. Under orders from the lobby, Nancy Pelosi stripped from a House bill a stipulation that Bush must come to Congress for authorization before launching an attack on Iran.

With Democratic contenders reciting the mantra, “All options are on the table,” and Iran defying U.N. sanctions, pursuing nuclear enrichment and detaining U.S. citizens, Bush has a blank check to launch a third war.

Lebanon is ablaze. Gaza is ablaze. The Afghan war is not going well. The Taliban have a privileged sanctuary. The NATO allies grow weary.

In Pakistan, the most dangerous country on earth – one bullet away from an Islamic republic with atom bombs – our erstwhile ally, President Musharraf, is caught in a political crisis over his ouster of the chief justice.

Presidents Musharraf in Islamabad, Karzai in Kabul and Siniora in Beirut, and Prime Minister Maliki in Baghdad, sit on shaky thrones. No one knows what follows their fall. But it is hard to see how it would not be crippling for America’s position.

With such volatility in this crucial region of the world, with such uncertainty, it is easy to see why Democrats prefer to be the “dummy” at the bridge table and let Bush play the hand.

The congressional Democrats are cynical, but they are not stupid. If the surge works and U.S. troops are being withdrawn by fall 2008, they do not want it said of them that they “cut and ran” when the going got tough, that they played Chamberlain to Bush’s Churchill.

And if the war is going badly in 2008, they know that the American people, in repudiating the party of Bush and Cheney, have no other choice than the party of Hillary and Pelosi and Harry Reid.

That is why congressional Democrats are surely saying privately of the angry antiwar left what has often been said by the Beltway Republican elite of the right: “Don’t worry about them. They have nowhere else to go.”

And that is why the antiwar left was thrown under the bus.

Analysis: Fuck! First he wants to deport all people who may not be of Mayflower origin, and now this! How many times do I have to agree with Pat Buchanan until I have to commit ritual suicide???

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Fatwah Friday, Courtesy of PBH

In the hot news of the day, a statue in Denmark got a Muslim makeover. Yet you can still see the slutty little statues ankles, how very tempting and risque — I hope an otherwise religiously devout person isn’t forced to stone it! OOOOH BOOGIE MEN EVERYWHERE! It’s those damn Ay-rabs again! Can’t they all fit in Guantanamo???

In more acidic news, who loves the troops? I do, I do! Well, enough to give them a 6 dollar raise! Yesssssssss. I bet you can buy adequate body armor with that kind of dough. Then again, one can only hope that all the festering bodies will decompose quickly to mix with dinosaur bones to give us more wonderful petrol.

While we’re busy being guilty of some underlying patriarchal oppression against our female counterparts even though we’re busy writing about it, apparently we’ve struck a cord of disdain from some of our underwater feminist allies. This is the second time we’ve undergone an attack by the nameless internet goons who want to tell us what language we can and cannot use. Because, you see, it’s not hypocritical that they’re fighting sexism by telling us that all males are terrible, because they’re women. Anyway, point being, jihad on white bitches suffering from cognitive dissonance!

Other things to check out: World’s greatest flags (bears!!!! axes!!! swastikas!!!), Comcast 911 Fails – 4yr Old Suffers – Comcast Support Hangs Up On Father, deport Kenneth Eng, Religion’s rules of inference, and the Inventor of Mother’s Day Wants You To Stop Wasting Money (consider it done a long time ago).

051607FalwellDies Fatwah Friday, Courtesy of PBH

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