The Descent into Blog Nihilism

Hello Blog World! Another successful week of the ol’ blog-o-rehea and man, look at what it gave us! Probably the greatest conversation on PBH (a true Happy Memorial Day!) followed closely by the first installment of Ask a Shiite. Anyway, I’m proud that things didn’t descend into utter chaos and name-calling, though I have been compiling a long list of inaccurate and morally reprehensible comparisons to Communists and Nazi’s to anyone who dares disagree with me and my glass-house liberal beliefs.

First stop to Byron Crawford for a modern day classic. If there’s one thing black people love, it’s condiments apparently.

I remember when I used to work in a White Castle, and I would have issues with people wanting so many packs of ketchup. I’d give them their order and toss a couple of packs in the bag, but then they’d take a look in the bag and be like, Nah, nigga, we need like two handfuls of ketchup.

On the intellectual blog block (cuz you know I need my intellectual masturbation), the Atlantic Review has an interesting post on obsession on transatlantic relations. To quote Kindergarten Cop, Americans have penises’, the French have vaginas. That, and they LOVE surrendering to the Nazi’s. And yes, everything I learn is from books featuring Sean Hannity in American warm-up suits on the cover.

Other noteworthy news: Coming Anarchy has a preview on the latest Kaplan article, a four foot ledge makes an excellent suicide platform, Pundits are always wrong (how did he know??), you should always leave comments on blogs (specifically with your name and phone number so I can call you at 4 in the morning and tell you the many reasons you’re wrong), and remember, a vagina is a terrible thing to waste.

Democratz seyz: I want my baby back ribs (bbq iraq sauce)

If you get erections from political sellouts, this week was your week to shine (with hard-ons). No sooner did the Democrats get control of the House and Senate on the anti-War, anti-Bush platform did they cave in to have their pockets lined with delicious government money. Oh boy, the sea of change:

We are in the midst of an intellectual crisis in this country where certain dogmatic and incoherent beliefs are allowed to dominate the discourse in spite of the fact that they are demonstrably false. It’s one of the most difficult problems we ace.

Other things worth checking out: War Crimes at Waiter Rant, where he dissects the idea of fellatio practicing and chocha shaving, Think Before You Post (or you may have hot 40 year old males waiting for your underwear), and yet another funny/sad example of Fox News “interesting” take on the world.

Fatwah Friday, Courtesy of PBH

In the hot news of the day, a statue in Denmark got a Muslim makeover. Yet you can still see the slutty little statues ankles, how very tempting and risque — I hope an otherwise religiously devout person isn’t forced to stone it! OOOOH BOOGIE MEN EVERYWHERE! It’s those damn Ay-rabs again! Can’t they all fit in Guantanamo???

In more acidic news, who loves the troops? I do, I do! Well, enough to give them a 6 dollar raise! Yesssssssss. I bet you can buy adequate body armor with that kind of dough. Then again, one can only hope that all the festering bodies will decompose quickly to mix with dinosaur bones to give us more wonderful petrol.

While we’re busy being guilty of some underlying patriarchal oppression against our female counterparts even though we’re busy writing about it, apparently we’ve struck a cord of disdain from some of our underwater feminist allies. This is the second time we’ve undergone an attack by the nameless internet goons who want to tell us what language we can and cannot use. Because, you see, it’s not hypocritical that they’re fighting sexism by telling us that all males are terrible, because they’re women. Anyway, point being, jihad on white bitches suffering from cognitive dissonance!

Other things to check out: World’s greatest flags (bears!!!! axes!!! swastikas!!!), Comcast 911 Fails – 4yr Old Suffers – Comcast Support Hangs Up On Father, deport Kenneth Eng, Religion’s rules of inference, and the Inventor of Mother’s Day Wants You To Stop Wasting Money (consider it done a long time ago).

Libby Legal Defense Trust For Well-Groomed Sycophants

Do you just DREAM of the day when you can bail out Scooter Libby? Now you can:

Mary Matalin former assistant to President George W. Bush and counselor to Vice President Dick Cheney, is sending out letters requesting donations to the “Libby Legal Defense Trust.”

“Will you join me in helping support a good conservative, a true patriot, and a loyal friend who has come under attack? His name is Lewis Libby. But everyone calls him “Scooter.'”

After many years in government he doesn’t have near enough savings to pay for the effective defense he needs to prove these charges are completely baseless and that his conviction should be overturned. Scooter Libby is facing years in jail and huge fines, he needs our immediate help.”

Everytime you donate to the foundation, a minority goes to community college! Take that and suck on it, Horatio Alger!

In a similar vain, I suggest everyone take the Blasphemy Challenge. You get a free DVD and hey, free souls.

Other blogs worthy of checking out: They Scream Jordan at APJ, Byron Crawford finds a Jane Magazine blog dedicated to readers showing their breasts (it’s not as great as its sounds, I promise), Fox News Clearly Stating That People Who Question the Government are Absurd, and Gay Marriage is Twice as Popular as President Bush!

National Zombie Prayer Day

Interested in an honest debate about the US involvement in Afghanistan, then head over to Civilian Casualties in Afghanistan: Germany’s Defense Minister Criticizes US Policy at the Atlantic Review. By the way, big props to my friends over there for having their article on Wolfowitz quoted in Slate. The farthest I’ve gotten is getting insulted on Gawker. 🙁

I also suggest you head over to Publius Pundit for an article about the Saudi Initiative written by resident scholar Adam from TOFYH. There are ‘interesting’ comments, mostly coming from Mark Krauss of Class 8 Commentary.

In a sentiment shared by many of us in the world, Violent Acres states that Weddings are Stupid. Nothing says classy like a poor display of wealth though, so I’m planning on having my wedding ‘freedom themed‘, with the whole Superdome (yes, we will rent out the Superdome) draped in American flags. Also, all brown/black people within a half mile radius will be sprayed with malt liquor and oil to celebrate freedom.

On to those crazy Germans, who have probably the best ad to invite business into their country. I was seriously hoping one of those hookers was going to be a tranny so a big floppy cock would fall out of a garter, but no such luck.

Question: Would you ride this roller coaster? Answer: only if I was tripping off LSD and had a colon filled with burritos and frogurt. To round things out, since a lot of religion is like pooping out Mexican food, check out Barack Obama (Bin Ladans) view on Religion & Politics, Premarital Sex: Where Christians Get It Wrong (missionary style, anyone?), the myth of an atheist Hitler, and of course, don’t forget to celebrate your national day of prayer!